[from trailer] Buzz Lightyear: Hold on, this is no time to be hysterical! Hamm the Piggy Bank: This is the perfect time to be hysterical. Rex the Green Dinosaur: Should we be HYSTERICAL? Slinky Dog: No! Mr. Potato Head: Yes! Buzz Lightyear: Maybe! But not right now! Hamm the Piggy Bank: Cmon. Lets go see how much were going for on eBay.

Andys Mom: [from trailer] [speaking to someone else] Andys Mom: Andys going to college. Can you believe it? Andy: Mom, Im not leaving til Friday. Andys Mom: [about Andys toys in the toy chest] What are you going to do with these old toys?

Molly: [Andy is climbing up the ladder to the attic to put his toys away when Molly walks out of her room carrying a box] Uh! [a small heavy ball falls out of the box] Andy: You need a hand? Molly: I got it! Andy: Here. [he puts the ball back and picks up the box] Andy: So, you gonna miss me when Im gone? Molly: If I say no, do I still get your room? Andy: [they walk down the stairs] Nope. Molly: Then, yes, Ill miss you.

Lotso: Ken? New toys! Ken: Far out! Down in a jiff, Lotso. [goes down the elevator] Ken: So, whos ready for Kens dream tour? Lotso: Lets show our new friends where theyll be staying! Ken: Uh, folks, if youll just want to step right this way… [he sees Barbie] Ken: Hi, Im Ken. Barbie: Barbie. Have we ever met? Ken: I would have remembered. [she laughs] Ken: Love your leg wamers! Barbie: Nice ascot! Lotso: Come on, Ken, recess dont last forever. Ken: Right on, Lotso. This way everybody. Lotso: Got a lot to look forward to, folks. The little ones love new toys. Buzz Lightyear: What a nice bear! Rex the Green Dinosaur: And he smells like strawberries. Woody: Ugh.

Ken: [Giving Andys toys a tour of the daycare, Ken passes his dollhouse] And this… well, this is where I live. Its got a disco, its got a dune buggy, and a whole room just for trying on clothes. Barbie: [gasps] You have everything! Ken: Everything… except someone to share it with… [he walks away] Barbie: [sighs lovingly]

Woody: [Woody is trying to find directions to Andys house on Bonnies mothers computer. Suddenly a chat window pops up, and Woody reads the username of its sender] Whos “Velocistar237″…? Trixie: [knocks Woody aside and starts typing frantically] Oh! Thats just a dinosaur toy down the street, thats nothing, let just take care of that. [finishes typing] Trixie: Its just a dinosaur! Woody: All right…

Sergeant: [Three of Andys army men are preparing to jump out the window with parachutes] Weve done our duty. Andys grown up. Army Man 1: Lets face it. When the trash bags come out, we army guys are the first to go. Buzz Lightyear: Trash bags? Woody: Who said anything about trash bags? Sergeant: It has been an honor serving with you. Good luck, folks. Army Man 2: Youre gonna need it! [they jump out]

Chunk: [Buzz has just successfully made it to the window over the Caterpillar Room door, at sunset, and now he hears two voices approaching in the hallway below] Heh, heh heh heh… You think they had a fun playtime? Twitch: Shh! They might hear you! [Buzz hears giggling to his left and looks over to another doorway where Barbie and Ken are talking to each other] Ken: Okay, now you start. Barbie: I… Ken: love… Barbie: you! Oh! Ken: See? That time I said “love”! Okay, now me first. [Buzz gives them a strange look] Barbie: [overlapping] Ooh! Okay okay okay… Ken: I… Barbie: love… Ken: you! You see what I mean? It changes every time! Barbie: [laughing] You are so smart! [Twitch and Chunk pass them] Twitch: [grabbing Kens collar] Cmon, Romeo. Were late.

Woody: [in Bonnies room] Look, I just need to get out of here… Buttercup: [dramatically] There is no way out! [Woody stares at him in horror] Buttercup: Just kidding. Doors right over there. [he points]

[In Bonnies room; she is playing with her toys and Woody] Woody: [voice box] Theres a snake in my boot! [Bonnie pulls his string again] Woody: Id like to join your posse, boys, but first Im gonna sing a little song. Bonnie: A sheriff! [she sets Woody down at a table surrounded by stuffed animals] Bonnie: Move over, Mr. Pricklepants! [she pushes him aside] Bonnie: We have a guest! [she hops from foot to foot] Bonnie: You want some coffee? [she sets out cups and pretends to pour from a pitcher] Bonnie: Its good for you, but dont drink too much or youll have to – Be right back! [she runs out the door] Woody: [Woody looks around, the other toys are still frozen] Pssst! Hey! Hello! Hi. Excuse me… Mr. Pricklepants: Shh! [he freezes] Woody: Can you tell me where I am? Mr. Pricklepants: Shhh! [he freezes again] Buttercup: The guys just asking a question. Mr. Pricklepants: Well, excuse me! I am trying to stay in character! Buttercup: [to Woody] My names Buttercup. Mr. Pricklepants: [at Buttercup] Shh! Trixie: Hello! Im Trixie! Mr. Pricklepants: [at Trixie] Shhh! Trixie: [back at him] Shhh! Woody: [waves his arms] Guys, hey! Guys, look, I dont know where I am… Trixie: Were either in a café in Paris or a coffee shop in New Jersey. Im pretty sure I just came back from the doctor with life-changing news. Buttercup: We do a lot of improv here. Just stay loose, have fun – youll be fine! Woody: No, no no no, I… [Bonnie flushes the toilet in the bathroom and Woody goes limp]

[Lotso leaves the toys to die in the incinerator at the dump instead of helping them] Lotso: Wheres your kid now, Sheriff?

Spanish Buzz: [immediately after being reset into Spanish, Buzz speaks into his wrist communicator] Bitácora Espacial – Me he despertado de hiper-sueño en un planeta extraño. Hamm the Piggy Bank: [to Rex] Now what did you do? Rex the Green Dinosaur: I just did what you told me! Spanish Buzz: Estoy rodeado por criaturas extrañas y desconozco sus intenciónes. ¿¡Quién anda ahí? ¿Amigo? O enemigo? [aims his laser at Woody] Woody: Uh… Amigos! Were all amigos! Spanish Buzz: [turns off laser and is suddenly friendly] Me debo haber estrellado, y se me borró la memoria. [helmet still up, he kisses Woody quickly on each cheek] Spanish Buzz: ¿Han visto a mi nave espacial? Woody: [dumbstruck] We gotta switch him back.

[last lines] Woody: So long… partner.

Mr. Potato Head: [to the Peas-in-a-Pod] I told you kids to stay out of my butt!

Mr. Pricklepants: [to Woody] Sunnyside is a place of ruin and despair, ruled by an evil bear who smells of strawberries!

Jessie: I should have seen this coming! Its Emily all over again!

Jessie: Hogtie the mailman! We gotta get you home before Andy leaves tomorrow!

Andy: [opens box, and takes out Jessie] This is Jessie, the roughest, toughest cowgirl in the whole west. She loves critters, but none more than her best pal, Bullseye! [pulls out Bullseye, and makes a whinnying sound] Andy: Yee-haw! [holds the two tows out to Bonnie] Andy: Here. Bonnie: [shyly walks over, and takes Jessie and Bullseyes, a smile on her face] Andy: [pulls out Rex] This is Rex! The meanest, most terrifying dinosaur who ever lived! RAWR! RAWR! Bonnie: [recoils a little, but the giggles, and takes Rex too] Andy: [pulls out Mr and Mrs Potato Head] The Potato Heads: Mr and Mrs. You gotta keep them together because theyre madly in love. [Andy sets them down in front of Bonnie, before pulling out Slinky Dog] Andy: Now Slinky here, is as loyal as any dog you could want. [Andy then pulls out Hamm] Andy: And Hamm, hell keep your money safe, but hes also one of the most dastardly villains of all time: Evil Dr Porkchop! [Andy then places the two with their friends, before pulling out the three aliens] Andy: These little dudes are from a strange alien world: Pizza Planet! [Andy then sets them down before reaching into his box again] Andy: And this, is Buzz Lightyear, the coolest toy ever! Look! He can fly, oh, and shoot lasers! [Andy pops open Buzzs wings, and fires his laser] Andy: Hes sworn to protect the galaxy from the Evil Emperor Zurg! Bonnie: [Bonnie takes Buzz from Andy, and presses one of the buttons on his spacesuit] Buzz Lightyear: To Infinity, and Beyond! Andy: Now, you gotta promise to take good care of these guys. They, mean, alot to me.

Andy: Now Woody, hes been my pal for as long as I can remember. Hes brave, like a cowboy should be. And kind, and smart. But the thing that makes Woody special, is hell never give up on you… ever. Hell be there for you, no matter what.

Andy: [taking a last look at his toys before he heads off to college] Thanks, guys.

[first lines] [Mr. Potato Head, portraying One-Eyed Bart, jumps out of a train while carrying money sacks] Mr. Potato Head: [laughs evily] Ah, ha ha ha! Money, money, money! [Woody lassoes a rope to grab the money from Mr. Potato Heads hands, then trips him] Woody: Youve got a date with justice, One-Eyed Bart! Mr. Potato Head: Too bad, Sheriff! Im a married man! [Mrs. Potato Head jumps onto the train, giving karate yells] Woody: One-Eyed Betty? [Mrs. Potato Head chases Woody across the train tops, then uses nunchucks to knock him off. As the Potato Heads look and laugh evily, Woody suddenly reappears, riding Bullseye with Jessie] Jessie: I think you dropped something, mister! Mr. Potato Head: Jessie? Woody: Give it up, Bart! Youve reached the end of the line! Mr. Potato Head: I always wanted to go out with a bang! [Mr. Potato Head presses a button on a remote, causing dynamite to blow up the bridge] Jessie: Oh, no! Woody: The orphans! [cut to a group of Troll dolls riding the train] Mr. Potato Head: Hate to leave early, but our ride is here! [Three aliens drive up in a pink Barbie Corvette] Aliens: Ooh! Mr. Potato Head: Its me or the kiddies, Sheriff! Take your pick! [the Potato Heads jump into the convertible and drive off] Woody: Ride like the wind, Bullseye!

[Woody jumps on to a train of orphaned Troll dolls. He pulls the brake to try and stop the train before reaching the broken bridge, but they still fall into the canyon] Jessie: No! [Suddenly, Buzz Lightyear appears, lifting the train and its passengers out of the canyon] Buzz Lightyear: Glad I could catch the train! Woody: Now lets catch some criminals! Buzz Lightyear: To infinity and beyond! [Cut to the Potato Heads and the aliens in their car, counting money and laughing evily] Aliens: [pointing at the sky] Ooh! [Buzz flies above the bandits and slices their car with his laser. After the criminals tumble to the ground, Woody, Buzz, and Jessie enter] Woody: Reach for the sky! Mr. Potato Head: You cant touch me, Sheriff. I brought my attack dog with a built-in force field! [Mr. Potato Head calls Slinky Dog over with a whistle. Slinky bounces down from the mountains and forms the force field around the Potato Heads and aliens] Woody: Well, I brought my dinosaur who eats force field dogs! Jessie: Yodel-ay-hee-hoo! [the ground cracks apart, and Rex emerges. He roars at the evildoers, but then notices something] Rex the Green Dinosaur: Huh? Buzz Lightyear: [a pig-shaped spaceship suddenly appears. Its driver is Hamm, portraying Dr. Porkchop] Evil Dr. Porkchop! Hamm the Piggy Bank: Thats *Mr.* Evil Dr. Porkchop to you. [Hamm teleports the Potato Heads, the aliens, and Slinky onto his ship. He also pushes a button reading, "Death by Monkeys," trapping our heroes with a flood of plastic red monkeys. As Mr. Potato Head reaches toward a button activating a destructive ray, the scene suddenly cuts to Andys bedroom. The whole scene actually took place in Andys imagination, as he plays with the toys and a cardboard spaceship] Young Andy: [as Woody] Buzz, shoot your laser at my badge! Young Andy: [as Buzz] Woody, no! Itll kill you! Young Andy: [as Woody] Just do it! [Andy shields Buzzs eyes and pushes the laser button. He uses his finger to trace the laser bouncing off Woodys badge, then knocks the spaceship and its evil passengers towards the ground]

Lotso: F.A.O. my Schwartz!

Mr. Potato Head: You would not believe what I have been through tonight!

Rex the Green Dinosaur: Mr. Lotso, do toys here get played with every day? Lotso: All day long! Five days a week. Jessie: But what happens when the kids grow up? Lotso: Well now, Ill tell you. [Lotso walks over to a wall with class photos from past years] Lotso: When the kids get old, new ones come in. When they get old, new ones replace them. Youll never be outgrown, or neglected. Never abandoned or forgotten. No owners means – no heartbreak! Jessie: Yee-haw! Mrs. Potato Head: Its a miracle! Mr. Potato Head: And you wanted us to stay at Andys! Woody: Because were Andys toys! Lotso: [walks over] So you got donated by this “Andy”, huh? Well its his loss, Sheriff. He cant hurt you no more. Woody: Whoa! Whoa, whoa whoa… Lotso: Now lets get you settled in. [looks up] Lotso: Ken? [to himself] Lotso: Where is that boy? Ken! New toys! Ken: [Ken appears out of top floor window of his house] Far out! Down in a jiff, Lotso.

[Barbie, wearing Kens spacesuit with an opaque visor, comes to Bookworm to get the Buzz Lightyear instruction manual] Bookworm: [after rummaging in the shelves] All right, Ken. Here you go [he throws down the manual] Bookworm: But I dont know why it couldnt have waited until tomorrow. [Barbie picks up the manual and salutes Bookworm] Bookworm: [Barbie walks away, and Bookworm sees her high-heeled shoes] Huh? Bookworm: [after a pause, he rolls his eyes] Sheesh!

[Barbie is tearing up Kens outfits to get him to reveal information] Barbie: Lets see… Hawaiian surf trunks! [she rips them in half] Ken: Barbie, those were vintage! Its okay! Go ahead, rip em! Theyre a dime a dozen! Barbie: Ooh! Glitter tux! [she rips it in half] Ken: Who cares? Who cares? Sequins are tacky! Barbie: A Nehru jacket! Ken: Barbie! Not the Nehru! Barbie: This is from, what? 1967? Ken: The Groovy Formal Collection, yes! Barbie: What a shame. [Barbie makes little tears in the jacket. The stitches separate before Kens eyes] Ken: Oh, no! No! No, no, no! Theres an instruction manual! Lotso switched Buzz to Demo Mode! Barbie: Wheres that manual?

Jessie: Buzz! Were your friends! Buzz Lightyear: Spare me your lies, temptress! Your emperors defeated, and Im immune to your bewitching good looks.

Woody: Youll be okay in the attic? Jessie: Of course I will… Besides, I know about Buzzs Spanish Mode. Buzz Lightyear: My what?

Lotso: Youve got a playdate with destiny!

Mrs. Potato Head: [Molly tosses Barbie into the "Sunnyside" box without caring] Poor Barbie! Hamm the Piggy Bank: I get the Corvette.

Mr. Potato Head: [after spending the night in the daycare sandbox] It was cold and dark, nothing but sand and a couple of Lincoln Logs. Hamm the Piggy Bank: Eh… I dont think those were Lincoln Logs.

Jessie: Buzz, youre back! Buzz Lightyear: [confused] Uh, yes, yes I am. Where did I go? Woody: Beyond infinity, my friend.

Woody: [Chatter Telephone rings. Woody picks up phone] Hello? Chatter Telephone: You shouldnt have come back cowboy. Theyve cracked down hard since you left. More guards, more patrols, you and your friends aint ever getting out of here now. Woody: I made it out once. Chatter Telephone: You got LUCKY once. Want my advice? Keep your heads down, youll survive. Woody: Yeah, for how long? Chatter Telephone: Ive been here years, theyll never break me. Theres only one way toys leave this place. [Both see the janitor dropping a toy train down the trash chute] Chatter Telephone: Poor fella. Trash truck comes at dawn, then its off to the dump. Woody: Look, I appreciate your concern old-timer, but we have a kid waiting for us. Now, were leaving. If youd help us, one toy to another, Id sure be grateful. Chatter Telephone: [pause] Well… if youre gonna get out, first things youre gonna get through is the doors. Locked every night, inside and out, keys are left on a hook in the office. Woody: Got it. What else? Chatter Telephone: Lotso has trucks patrolling all night long. Hallway, lobby, playground… Woody: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but what about the wall? Chatter Telephone: Eight feet high; cinder block; No way through it. You go over, or under. Woody: Thats it? It doesnt seem so bad. Chatter Telephone: Its not. Your REAL problems the monkey. The Monkeys the eye in the sky. He sees everything… classrooms, hallways, even the playground. You can unlock doors, sneak past guards, climb the wall, but if you dont take out that monkey you aint going nowhere. You want to get out of here… GET RID OF THAT MONKEY!

Woody: Were all still here! I – I mean, yeah, weve lost friends along the way… Wheezy… and Etch… Rex the Green Dinosaur: And Bo Peep? Woody: …Yeah. Even – even Bo.

Jessie: Woody, we were wrong to leave Andy. I – I was wrong… Mr. Potato Head: Jessies right, Woody. She was wrong.

Woody: Oh no. Hamm the Piggy Bank: Oh yes! Return of the Astro-Nut!

Mrs. Potato Head: You have saved our lives! Mr. Potato Head: And *we* are eternally grateful! [hugs the aliens] Mr. Potato Head: My boys! Aliens: Daaaaaady!

Rex the Green Dinosaur: [after Andy picks up Rex to get his cell phone, which Rex was gripping] He held me! He actually held me!

Buzz Lightyear: Were going in the attic now, folks. Keep your accessories with you at all times. Spare parts, batteries, anything you need for an orderly transition.

Andys Mom: [helping Andy prepare, Andys mom walks around his room with a trash bag] Look, its simple. Skateboard? College! Little League trophy? Probably attic. Apple core? Trash. [she picks a green apple core off his dresser and drops it in the bag]

Woody: Day care is a sad lonely old place for toys who dont have a home. Barbie: …WAAAAGH! Hamm the Piggy Bank: Quite the charmer, aintya?

Barbie: Authority should derive from the consent of the governed, not from threat of force!

Buttercup: My names Buttercup. Youve met Baron von Shush.

Buzz Lightyear: Quiet musical hog!

Buzz Lightyear: Prisoners sleep in their cells. Any prisoner caught outside their cells spends the night in the box. Roll call at dusk and dawn. Any prisoner misses roll call spends the night in the box. Prisoners do NOT speak unless spoken to. Any prisoner talks back spends the night… Jessie: [snappily] In the BOX. We GET it.

Jessie: Buzz! Mind if I squeeze in next to you? Buzz Lightyear: Yes. No! I mean, w-w-why-why would I mind squee-squeezing next to you? – Is it hot in here?

Hamm the Piggy Bank: Hey, wheres that fur-ball Lotso? Slinky Dog: Yeah, Id like to loosen his stitching. Woody: Forget it, guys. Hes not worth it.

Frog: Hey buddy, you might wanna keep your mouth shut.

Chunk: [up in the vending machine with the other toys, referring to Buzz] He aint the sharpest knife in the… place where… they keep the knives… Sparks: Neither are you, Chunk! [everyone laughs]

[the toys are trapped in the incinerator] Jessie: Buzz! What do we do? [Buzz takes hold of Jessies hand]

[last lines] [while Buzz and Totoro try to repair a cardboard spaceship, Jessie starts playing Spanish music. As a result, Buzz starts involuntarily dancing, and grabs Jessie into his arms] Buzz Lightyear: [chuckles] I, uh, I have no idea what came over me. Jessie: Just go with it, Buzz. [Jessie and Buzz tango to a Spanish rendition of "Youve Got a Friend in Me" as the other toys watch]

Buzz Lightyear: That Barbie has nice handwriting! Jessie: Uhh, Buzz? Barbie didnt write this.

Slinky Dog: I thought we were going to the attic?

Rex the Green Dinosaur: At last! Im gonna get played with!

Mr. Potato Head: But these toddlers… they dont know how to play with us! Rex the Green Dinosaur: Theyre too young!

Aliens: The Claw!

Lotso: Welcome to Sunnyside, folks. Im Lots-o-Huggin Bear. But please, call me Lotso.

Dolly: Wow cowboy. You just jump right in dont you? Im Dolly Woody: [shakes her hand] Woody. Dolly: Woody? Youre gonna stick with that? Well nows the time to change it, you know, new room and all. Thats coming from a doll named Dolly.

Andy: Molly! Stay out of my room! Molly: I wasnt in your room! Andy: Then who was messing with my stuff?

Mr. Potato Head: Remember all that bad stuff I said about Andys attic? I take it all back. Slinky Dog: Ya darn-tootin Hamm the Piggy Bank: You said it!

[Buzz, in Spanish mode, sees Jessie for the first time] Spanish Buzz: ¡Ven conmigo! ¡Te mostraré las maravillas de la galaxia, y juntos lucharemos contra el despiadado Zurg! [Come with me! I will show you the wonders of the galaxy, and together we will fight the evil Zurg!] Jessie: [Buzz plucks a dandelion and offers it to her. Woody pushes through the bushes and Jessie runs to him and hugs him] Woody! Thank goodness! Woody: Cmon! Were almost there! [the rest of the toys leave, Buzz, stunned and angry, throws down his dandelion] Spanish Buzz: ¡El Vaquero!

Woody: Hey, if any of you get to Sunnyside Daycare, you tell em Woody made it home. Dolly: You came from Sunnyside? Trixie: But howd you escape? Woody: Well, it wasnt easy. I… What do you mean “escape”? Mr. Pricklepants: Sunnyside is a place of ruin and despair, ruled by an evil bear who smells of strawberries. Woody: Wh…? Lotso? Buttercup: The guy may seem plush and huggable on the outside, but inside, hes a monster! Woody: But, howd you know that? Mr. Pricklepants: Chuckles… hell tell you.

Ken: Barbie, come with me! Live in my Dream House! I know its crazy! I know weve just met! Aw, heck – you dont know me from GI Joe. But when I look at you I feel like we were… Ken, Barbie: …made for each other. Ken, Barbie: [gasp] [Jessie and Mrs. Potato Head encourage Barbie to accept his offer] Barbie: Yay!

Ken: No one appreciates clothes here, Barbie! No one.

Woody: [confronting Lotso at the dumpster] Wait! What about Daisy? Lotso: I dont know what youre talkin about. Woody: Daisy? You used to do everything with her? Lotso: Yeah – Then she threw us out. Woody: No! She lost you. Lotso: She replaced us! Woody: She replaced you! And if you couldnt have her, then no one could! You lied to Big Baby and youve been lying ever since! [holds up Big Babys "Daisy" nametag] Big Baby: [coos sadly] Lotso: Whered you get that? Woody: She loved you, Lotso. Lotso: She never loved me! Woody: As much as any kid ever loved a toy. [tosses the tag across the open dumpster to Big Babys feet] Big Baby: [picks it up, sadly] Mama. Lotso: What? You want your mommy back? She never loved you! Dont be such a baby! [he crushes the tag with his cane, Big Baby cries] Lotso: Push em in! All of em! [Stretch proceeds to force them into the dumpster, then Lotso addresses his gang] Lotso: This is what happens when you dummies try to think! Were all just trash waiting to be thrown away! Thats all a toy is!

[Chuckles is telling Woody about Lotso] Chuckles: Yeah, I knew Lotso. He was a good toy. A friend. We had the same owner, Daisy. I was there when Lotso got unwrapped. Daisy loved us all. But Lotso… Lotso was special. They did everything together. Never seen a kid and toy more in love. One day we took a drive, hit a rest stop, had a little playtime. After lunch, Daisy fell asleep. She never came back. So we waited. Lotso wouldnt give up. It took forever, but we finally made it back to Daisys. But by then, it was too late. Something changed inside Lotso that day. Something snapped.

[Chuckles is finishing his story about Lotso to Woody] Chuckles: We were lost, cast-offs, unloved, unwanted. Then we found Sunnyside. Lotso wasnt my friend anymore. He wasnt anyones friend. He took over Sunnyside and rigged the whole system. Woody: So, howd you get out? Chuckles: I got broke. Bonnie found me, took me home. Other toys werent so lucky. It aint right what Lotso done. New toys… they dont stand a chance.

Andy: The thing that makes Woody special is: hell never give up on you. Ever.

[Ponda Baba gives Luke a rough shove and starts yelling at Luke in an alien language which Luke doesnt understand] Dr. Evazan: [explaining] He doesnt like you. Luke: Sorry. Dr. Evazan: [grabbing Luke] *I* dont like you either. You just watch yourself. Were wanted men. I have the death sentence on twelve systems. Luke: Ill be careful. Dr. Evazan: Youll be dead! Obi-Wan: [intervening] This little ones not worth the effort. Come, let me get you something. [Dr. Evazan shoves Luke across the room and pulls out a blaster] Bartender: No blasters! No blasters! [Obi-Wan ignites his lightsaber, severing Ponda Babas arm]

Darth Vader: I have you now!

Luke: You know, I think that R2 unit we bought may have been stolen. Uncle Owen: What makes you think that? Luke: Well, I stumbled across a recording while I was cleaning him. He says that he belongs to someone named Obi-Wan Kenobi. I thought he might have meant old Ben. Do you know what hes talking about? Uncle Owen: Uh-uh. Luke: I wonder if hes related to Ben. Uncle Owen: That wizard is just a crazy old man. Now, tomorrow I want you to take that R2 unit to Anchorhead and have its memory erased. Thatll be the end of it. It belongs to us now. Luke: But what if this Obi-Wan comes looking for him? Uncle Owen: He wont. I dont think he exists anymore. He died about the same time as your father. Luke: He knew my father? Uncle Owen: I told you to forget it.

Darth Vader: He is here. Governor Tarkin: Obi-Wan Kenobi? What makes you think so? Darth Vader: A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master. Governor Tarkin: Surely he must be dead by now. Darth Vader: Dont underestimate the Force. Governor Tarkin: The Jedi are extinct, their fire has gone out of the universe. You, my friend, are all thats left of their religion. [answering a comm signal] Governor Tarkin: Yes? Voice over comm: We have an emergency alert in detention block AA-23. Governor Tarkin: The Princess? Put all sections on alert. Darth Vader: Obi-wan *is* here. The Force is with him. Governor Tarkin: If youre right, he must not be allowed to escape. Darth Vader: Escape is not his plan. I must face him, alone.

General Tagge: What of the Rebellion? If the Rebels have obtained a complete technical reading of this station, it is possible, however unlikely, they might find a weakness and exploit it. Darth Vader: The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands. Admiral Motti: Any attack made by the Rebels against this station would be a useless gesture, no matter what technical data they have obtained. This station is now the ultimate power in the universe! I suggest we use it! Darth Vader: Dont be too proud of this technological terror youve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. Admiral Motti: Dont try to frighten us with your sorcerous ways, Lord Vader. Your sad devotion to that ancient Jedi religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you enough clairvoyance to find the rebels hidden fortress… [Vader makes a pinching motion and Motti starts choking] Darth Vader: I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Princess Leia: No! Alderaan is peaceful! We have no weapons, you cant possibly… Governor Tarkin: [impatiently] You would prefer another target, a military target? Then name the system! I grow tired of asking this so it will be the last time: *Where* is the rebel base? Princess Leia: …Dantooine. Theyre on Dantooine. Governor Tarkin: There. You see, Lord Vader, she can be reasonable. Continue with the operation; you may fire when ready. Princess Leia: WHAT? Governor Tarkin: Youre far too trusting. Dantooine is too remote to make an effective demonstration – but dont worry; we will deal with your rebel friends soon enough.

Princess Leia: [in a holo message] General Kenobi: Years ago, you served my father in the Clone Wars; now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Empire. I regret that I am unable to present my fathers request to you in person; but my ship has fallen under attack and Im afraid my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. Ive placed information vital to the survival of the rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; youre my only hope.

Obi-Wan: I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldnt allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade like your father did. Luke: What is it? Obi-Wan: Your fathers light saber. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster; an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times… before the Empire.

Obi-Wan: There was nothing you could have done, Luke, had you been there. Youd have been killed too, and the droids would now be in the hands of the Empire. Luke: I want to come with you to Alderaan. Theres nothing for me here now. I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi like my father.

Aunt Beru: Where are you going? Luke: Looks like Im going nowhere… Im gonna finish cleaning those droids. Aunt Beru: [after Luke leaves] Owen, he cant stay here forever, most of his friends have gone. It means so much to him. Uncle Owen: Well, Ill make it up to him next year, I promise. Aunt Beru: Lukes just not a farmer, Owen. He has too much of his father in him. Uncle Owen: Thats what Im afraid of.

Officer Cass: Our scout ships have reached Dantooine. They found the remains of a Rebel base, but they estimate that it has been deserted for some time. They are now conducting an extensive search of the surrounding systems. Governor Tarkin: [referring to Leia] She lied. She lied to us! Darth Vader: I told you she would never consciously betray the Rebellion. Governor Tarkin: Terminate her… immediately!

Obi-Wan: [as Luke wakes up after being knocked out by Tuskan Raiders] Rest easy, son. Youve had a busy day. Youre fortunate to be all in one piece. Luke: Ben? Ben Kenobi? Boy, am I glad to see you. Obi-Wan: The Jundland Wastes are not to be traveled lightly. Tell me, young Luke, what brings you out this far? Luke: [indicating R2-D2] This little droid. I think hes searching for his former master. Ive never seen such devotion in a droid before. Ah, he claims to be the property of an Obi-Wan Kenobi. Is he a relative of yours? Do you know what hes talking about? Obi-Wan: [thoughtfully] Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan… Now, thats a name Ive not heard in a long time. A long time. Luke: I think my uncle knows him. He said he was dead. Obi-Wan: Oh, hes not dead… Not yet. Luke: You know him? Obi-Wan: But of course I know him. Hes me. [R2 beeps in surprise] Obi-Wan: I havent gone by the name of Obi-Wan since… oh, before you were born.

Luke: Boy, its lucky you have these compartments. Han Solo: I use them for smuggling. I never thought Id be smuggling myself in them. This is ridiculous.

Luke: [about Princess Leia] Theyre gonna execute her! Look, a few minutes ago you said you didnt want to just wait here to be captured. Now all you want to do is stay? Han Solo: Marching into a detention area is not what I had in mind. Luke: But theyre gonna kill her! Han Solo: Better her than me!

Imperial Officer: [seeing Luke and Han disguised as Stormtroopers taking Chewbacca to the prison level] Where are you taking this… thing? Luke: Prisoner transfer. Cell block 1138? Imperial Officer: I wasnt notified. Ill have it cleared. [signals another imperial officer to check Chewbacca; Chewbacca breaks out of his binders] Han Solo: Look out hes loose! Luke: Hell tear us all apart! Han Solo: Ill get im! [they shoot out the security cameras and kill the officers]

Luke: So. You got your reward and youre just leaving, then? Han Solo: Thats right, yeah. Got some old debts I gotta pay off with this stuff. Even if I didnt, you dont think Id be fool enough to stick around here, do you? Why dont you come with us? Youre pretty good in a fight. We could use you. Luke: Come on. Why dont you take a look around. You know whats about to happen, what theyre up against. They could use a good pilot like you, youre turning your back on them. Han Solo: What good is a reward if you aint around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station is not my idea of courage. Its more like, suicide. Luke: [angry] Okay. Take care of yourself Han. I guess thats what youre best at isnt it? Han Solo: [as Luke walks away] Hey, Luke. May the Force be with you. [to Chewbacca] Han Solo: Whatre you lookin at? I know what Im doin.

Greedo: [In Huttese; subtitled] Going somewhere, Solo? Han Solo: Yes, Greedo. I was just going to see your boss. Tell Jabba Ive got his money. Greedo: Its too late. You should have paid him when you had the chance. Jabbas put a price on your head so large, every bounty hunter in the galaxy will be looking for you. Im lucky I found you first. Han Solo: Yeah, but this time Ive got the money. Greedo: If you give it to me, I might forget I found you. Han Solo: [stealthily going for his blaster] I dont have it with me. Tell Jabba… Greedo: Jabbas through with you! He has no use for smugglers who drop their shipments at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser. Han Solo: Even I get boarded sometimes. Do you think I had a choice? Greedo: You can tell that to Jabba. At best, he may only take your ship. Han Solo: Over my dead body! Greedo: Thats the idea… Ive been looking forward to this for a long time. Han Solo: Yeah, Ill bet you have. [Han blasts Greedo, then heads out, tossing the bartender a coin] Han Solo: Sorry about the mess.

[Han answers the intercom after comandeering an attack station] Han Solo: [sounding official] Uh, everythings under control. Situation normal. Voice: What happened? Han Solo: [getting nervous] Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh… everythings perfectly all right now. Were fine. Were all fine here now, thank you. How are you? Voice: Were sending a squad up. Han Solo: Uh, uh… negative, negative. We had a reactor leak here now. Give us a few minutes to lock it down. Large leak, very dangerous. Voice: Who is this? Whats your operating number? Han Solo: Uh… [Han shoots the intercom] Han Solo: [muttering] Boring conversation, anyway.

Darth Vader: Ive been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now *I* am the master. Obi-Wan: Only a master of evil, Darth. [lightsabers clash]

General Tagge: Until this battle station is fully operational, we are vulnerable. The Rebel Alliance is too well equipped, theyre more dangerous than you realize. Admiral Motti: Dangerous to your starfleet, Commander; not to this battle station.

Gold Two: [the Y-wings are running the gauntlet toward the Death Star reactor-port] The guns – theyve stopped! Gold Five: [realizes why] Stabilize your rear deflectors… Watch for enemy fighters. Gold Leader: Theyre coming in! Three marks at 2-10! [Gold Two is slain by Darth Vader and his wingmen; Gold Leader starts to panic] Gold Leader: Its no good, I cant maneuver! Gold Five: Stay on target. Gold Leader: *Were too close!* Gold Five: Stay on target! Gold Leader: [shouts] Loosen up! [he too is picked off by Vader and Company; Gold Five tries to escape but is fatally winged] Gold Five: Gold Five to Red leader, lost Tiree, lost Dutch. Red Leader: I copy, Gold Leader. Gold Five: It came from… behind! [crashes]

C-3PO: Now dont you forget this! Why I should stick my neck out for you is far beyond my capacity!

C-3PO: Just you reconsider playing that message for him! [R2 beeps a question] C-3PO: No, I dont think he likes you at all. [R2 beeps again] C-3PO: No, I dont like you either.

C-3PO: I would much rather have gone with Master Luke than stay here with you. I dont know what all this trouble is about, but Im sure it must be your fault. [R2 beeps an angry response] C-3PO: You watch your language!

[C-3PO is tangled up in wires after a run-in with tie fighters] C-3PO: Help! I think Im melting! This is all your fault! [R2-D2 makes a series of beeps that sound like chuckling]

[repeated line] C-3PO: [to R2-D2] This is all your fault.

Governor Tarkin: You dont know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life. Princess Leia: Im surprised that you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself. Governor Tarkin: Princess Leia, before your execution, you will join me at a ceremony that will make this battle station operational. No star system will dare oppose the Emperor now. Princess Leia: The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

General Dodonna: The battle station is heavily shielded and carries a firepower greater than half the star fleet. Its defenses are designed around a direct, large-scale assault. A small one-man fighter should be able to penetrate the outer defense. Gold Leader: Pardon me for asking, sir, but what good are snub fighters going to be against that? General Dodonna: Well, the Empire doesnt consider a small one-man fighter to be any threat, or theyd have a tighter defense. An analysis of the plans provided by Princess Leia has demonstrated a weakness in the battle station. But the approach will not be easy. You are required to maneuver straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The target area is only two meters wide. Its a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station. Only a precise hit will set off a chain reaction. The shaft is ray-shielded, so youll have to use proton torpedoes. Wedge Antilles (Red 2): Thats impossible! Even for a computer. Luke: Its not impossible. I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home, theyre not much bigger than two meters. General Dodonna: Then man your ships. And may the Force be with you.

General Willard: Youre safe. When we heard about Alderaan, we feared the worst. Princess Leia: We have no time for sorrows, Commander. You must use the information in this R-2 unit to help plan the attack- its our only hope.

Imperial Officer: Where are you taking this… thing?

Han Solo: Stay sharp. Theres two more coming in. Theyre gonna try and cut us off. Luke: Well why dont you outrun them? I thought you said this thing was fast! Han Solo: Watch your mouth kid, or youre gonna find yourself floating home. Well be safe enough once we make the jump to hyperspace. Besides, I know a few maneuvers. Well lose em! [the ship shudders as an explosion flashes outside the window] Han Solo: Heres where the fun begins! Obi-Wan: How long before you can make the jump to light speed? Han Solo: Itll take a few moments to get the coordinates from the navi-computer. [the ship begins to rock violently as lasers hit it] Luke: Are you kidding? At the rate theyre gaining? Han Solo: Traveling through hyperspace aint like dusting crops, boy! Without precise calculations we could fly right through a star, or bounce too close to a supernova and thatd end your trip real quick, wouldnt it?

Princess Leia: I dont know who you are or where you came from, but from now on youll do as I tell you, okay?

Obi-Wan: Thats no moon. Its a space station.

Princess Leia: General Kenobi. Years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Empire. I regret that I am unable to convey my fathers request to you in person, but my ship has fallen under attack, and Im afraid my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Youre my only hope. [pause] Obi-Wan: [to Luke] You must learn the ways of the Force, if youre to come with me to Alderaan. Luke: Alderaan? Im not going to Alderaan, Ive gotta get *home*, its late, Im in for it as it is! Obi-Wan: I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. Im getting too old for this sort of thing. Luke: Look, I cant get involved. Ive got work to do. Its not that I like the Empire; I hate it, but theres nothing I can do about it right now… Its all such a long way from here. Obi-Wan: Thats your uncle talking.

Obi-Wan: The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. Its an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.

Han Solo: Well, you can forget your troubles with those Imperial slugs. I told you Id outrun em. [nobody is listening] Han Solo: Dont everyone thank me at once.

Han Solo: Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

Governor Tarkin: The Imperial Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I have just received word from Coruscant that the Emperor has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away forever. General Tagge: But thats impossible! How will the Emperor maintain control without the bureaucracy? Governor Tarkin: The regional governors now have direct control over their territories. Fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of this battle station.

Luke: Im Luke Skywalker. Im here to rescue you. Princess Leia: Youre who?

C-3PO: We seem to be made to suffer. Its our lot in life.

[repeated line] Princess Leia: Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; youre my only hope.

Obi-Wan: For over a thousand generations, the Jedi knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the old Republic… before the dark times… before the empire.

Obi-Wan: [to R2-D2] Hello there. [R2 beeps] Obi-Wan: Come here, my little friend. Dont be afraid. [R2 beeps a question] Obi-Wan: Oh dont worry, hell be alright.

Luke: [to C3PO] Alright, come on. And the red one. Come on. Well, come on Red, lets go.

Luke: [the red R2 unit blows its top] Uncle Owen! Uncle Owen: [looks up from paying the Jawa] Yeah? Luke: This R2 unit has a bad motivator, look! Uncle Owen: [to Jawa] Hey, what are you trying to push on us?

C-3PO: Weve stopped. Wake up! Wake up! [R2D2 beeps] C-3PO: Were doomed.

C-3PO: [translating for R2] He says hes found the main control to the power beam thats holding the ship here; hell try to make the precise location appear on the monitor. [a diagram of the power terminal appears on the screen] C-3PO: The tractor beam is coupled to the main reactor in seven locations. A power loss at one of the terminals will allow the ship to leave.

Princess Leia: Someone has to save our skins. Into the garbage chute, fly boy.

Luke: How did my father die? Obi-Wan: A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi knights. He betrayed and murdered your father. Now the Jedi are all but extinct. Vader was seduced by the dark side of the Force.

Obi-Wan: Mos Eisley spaceport: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.

Luke: I dont understand how we got by those troops. I thought we were dead. Obi-Wan: The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.

Han Solo: Han Solo. Im captain of the Millennium Falcon. Chewie here tells me youre lookin for passage to the Alderaan system? Obi-Wan: Yes indeed, if its a fast ship. Han Solo: Fast ship? Youve never heard of the Millennium Falcon? Obi-Wan: Should I have? Han Solo: Its the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. Ive outrun Imperial starships. Not the local bulk cruisers mind you, Im talking about the big Corellian ships now. Shes fast enough for you old man. Whats the cargo? Obi-Wan: Only passengers. Myself, the boy, two droids… and no questions asked. Han Solo: [chuckles] What is it? Some kind of local trouble? Obi-Wan: Lets just say wed like to avoid any Imperial entanglements.

Luke: [on first seeing the Millenium Falcon] What a piece of junk! Han Solo: Shell make point five past lightspeed. She may not look like much, but shes got it where it counts, kid. Ive made a lot of special modifications myself.

Princess Leia: Governor Tarkin, I should have expected to find you holding Vaders leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board. Governor Tarkin: Charming to the last. You dont know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life. Princess Leia: Im surprised that you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself. Governor Tarkin: Princess Leia, before your execution, you will join me at a ceremony that will make this battle station operational. No star system will dare oppose the Emperor now. Princess Leia: The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

C-3PO: Where could they be? [R2 beeps at him] C-3PO: Use the comlink? Oh my! I forgot, I turned it off. [over the comlink] C-3PO: Are you there sir? Luke: 3PO? C-3PO: Weve had some problems… Luke: [interrupting] Will you shut up and listen to me! Shut down all the garbage smashers on the detention level, will ya? Do you copy? Shut down all the garbage smashers on the detention level! Shut down all the garbage mashers on the detention level! C-3PO: [to R2-D2] No! Shut them *all* down, hurry! [R2 shuts down the compactors] Luke: What? HAHA! Hey, you did it 3PO! [Luke, Leia and Han start laughing hysterically; it sounds like screaming] C-3PO: Listen to them, theyre dying R2! Curse my metal body, I wasnt fast enough, its all my fault! My poor Master. Luke: 3PO, were all right! Were all right! Ha ha! Hey, open the pressure maintenance hatch on unit number… where are we? 3263827!

[referring to Obi Wan] Governor Tarkin: If youre right, he must not be allowed to escape. Darth Vader: Escape is not his plan. I must face him. Alone.

[Two stormtroopers are posted near the tractor beam power terminal] Stormtrooper: Do you know whats going on? Other stormtrooper: Maybe its another drill.

Darth Vader: I sense something; a presence Ive not felt since…

C-3PO: Dont call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease.

[repeated line] C-3PO: Were doomed.

Han Solo: Wonderful girl. Either Im going to kill her or Im beginning to like her.

Han Solo: I dont what were gonna do now. Even if I could take off, I could never get past the tractor beam. Obi-Wan: Leave that to me. Han Solo: Damn fool, I knew you were going to say that. Obi-Wan: Whos the more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?

Princess Leia: Arent you a little short for a stormtrooper?

Han Solo: Get in there, you big furry oaf! I dont care what you smell!

Han Solo: This is *not* gonna work. Luke: Why didnt you say so before? Han Solo: I *did* say so before.

Han Solo: Look, Your Worshipfulness, lets get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person: me. Princess Leia: Its a wonder youre still alive. [Pushing past Chewbacca] Princess Leia: Will someone get this big walking carpet out of my way? Han Solo: No reward is worth this.

[Princess Leia gets her first look at the Millennium Falcon] Princess Leia: You came in that thing? Youre braver than I thought.

[Luke blows up his first TIE fighter] Luke: Got im! I got im! Han Solo: Great, kid. Dont get cocky.

Princess Leia: Its not over yet. Han Solo: It is for *me*, sister. Look, I aint in this for your revolution, and Im not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid. *Im* in it for the money. Princess Leia: You neednt worry about your reward. If money is all that you love, then thats what youll receive. [to Luke] Princess Leia: Your friend is quite the mercenary. I wonder if he really cares about anything. Or anybody. [she stalks out] Luke: [calling after her] I care. [to Han] Luke: So, what do you think of her, Han? Han Solo: Im tryin not to, kid. Luke: [sotto voce] Good. Han Solo: [baiting him] Still, shes got a lot of spirit. I dont know, whaddya think? You think a princess and a guy like me… Luke: [quickly] No.

Luke: Come on. Why dont you take a look around? You know whats about to happen, what theyre up against. They could use a good pilot like you. Youre turning your back on them. Han Solo: What goods a reward if you aint around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station aint my idea of courage. Its more like… suicide. Luke: All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess thats what youre best at, isnt it? [starts to storm off] Han Solo: Hey, Luke… may the Force be with you. [Luke exits. Chewie growls] Han Solo: Whatre you lookin at? I know what Im doin.

Darth Vader: The Force is strong with this one.

Darth Vader: [addressing the Tantive IVs captain, whom he is interrogating] Where are those transmissions you intercepted? WHAT have you DONE with those plans? [holding Captain Antilles off the floor, the Captains feet are dangling at Vaders knees] Captain Antilles: We intercepted no transmissions… [gasps] Captain Antilles: … This is a consular ship… Were on a – [chokes] Captain Antilles: diplomatic mission… Darth Vader: [shouting] If this is a consular ship, WHERE is the ambassador? [Antilles dies before he can answer, and Vader throws the mans body against the wall, narrowly missing 2 stormtroopers] Darth Vader: Commander, tear this ship apart until you find those plans! And bring me all passengers, I want them ALIVE!

Princess Leia: Darth Vader. Only you could be so bold.

[R2-D2 and Chewbacca are playing the holographic game aboard the Millennium Falcon] Chewbacca: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh! C-3PO: He made a fair move. Screaming about it cant help you. Han Solo: Let him have it. Its not wise to upset a Wookiee. C-3PO: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid. Han Solo: Thats cause droids dont pull peoples arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that. Chewbacca: Grrf. C-3PO: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2: let the Wookiee win.

Han Solo: Not a bad bit of rescuing, huh? You know, sometimes I amaze even myself. Princess Leia: That doesnt sound too hard.

Darth Vader: Your powers are weak, old man. Obi-Wan: You cant win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

Obi-Wan: The Force will be with you, always.

[X-wings are approaching Death Star] Wedge Antilles (Red 2): Look at the *size* of that thing! Red Leader: Cut the chatter, Red 2. Accelerate to attack speed.

Commander #1: Weve analyzed their attack, sir, and there is a danger. Should I have your ship standing by? Governor Tarkin: Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances.

Obi-Wan: Use the Force, Luke.

[approaching the Death Star] Luke: I have a very bad feeling about this.

Luke: You know, between his howling and your blasting everything in sight, its a wonder the whole station doesnt know were here. Han Solo: Bring em on, Id prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around.

Han Solo: Where did you dig up that old fossil? Luke: Ben is a great man. Han Solo: Yeah, great at getting us into trouble.

Princess Leia: Your friend is quite a mercenary. I wonder if he really cares about anything… or anybody. Luke: I care.

Luke: [griping about Tatooine] If theres a bright center to the universe, youre on the planet that its farthest from.

C-3PO: Is there anything I can do? Luke: Not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest or teleport me off this rock.

Princess Leia: Into the garbage chute, flyboy.

Luke: Im not such a bad pilot myself.

Obi-Wan: In my experience, theres no such thing as luck.

Luke: Hey Biggs, I told you Id make it someday. Biggs: Itll be like old times, Luke. Theyll never stop us.

C-3PO: Master Luke, sir. Pardon me for asking, but what should R2 and I do if were discovered here? Luke: Lock the door. Han Solo: And hope they dont have blasters. C-3PO: That isnt very reassuring.

Uncle Owen: Have you seen Luke this morning? Aunt Beru: He said that he had some things to do before he started, so he left early. Uncle Owen: Did he take those two new droids with him? Aunt Beru: I think so. Uncle Owen: Well, hed better have those units in the South Ridge repaired by midday, or therell be hell to pay.

Stormtrooper: Let me see your identification. Obi-Wan: [with a small wave of his hand] You dont need to see his identification. Stormtrooper: We dont need to see his identification. Obi-Wan: These arent the droids youre looking for. Stormtrooper: These arent the droids were looking for. Obi-Wan: He can go about his business. Stormtrooper: You can go about your business. Obi-Wan: Move along. Stormtrooper: Move along… move along.

Darth Vader: [zeroing in on Lukes fighter] I have you now! [one of Vaders wing-men explodes] Darth Vader: What? Han Solo: YAHOOO! [the Millenium Falcon appears] Tie Fighter pilot: Look out! [Han fires again, the second fighter collides with Vaders, sending him careening away] Han Solo: Youre all clear, kid, now lets *blow* this thing and go home! [Luke fires, the torpedoes dive down the exhaust port; the Millenium Falcon leads the remaining rebel ships away as the Death Star explodes]

Princess Leia: They let us go. It was the only reason for the ease of our escape. Han Solo: Easy? You call that easy? Princess Leia: Theyre tracking us. Han Solo: Not this ship, sister. Princess Leia: [sighs] At least the information in R2 is still intact. Han Solo: Whats so important? Whats he carrying? Princess Leia: The technical readouts of that battle station. I only hope that when the datas analyzed a weakness can be found. Its not over yet.

Darth Vader: This will be a day long remembered. It has seen the end of Kenobi, it will soon see the end of the Rebellion.

Obi-Wan: I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

Luke: What are you doing hiding back there? C-3PO: It wasnt my fault, sir, please dont deactivate me. I told him not to go, but hes faulty, malfunctioning. Kept babbling on about his mission.

[as the garbage compactor closes in] Han Solo: One things for sure, were all gonna be a lot thinner.

C-3PO: Ive just about had enough of you. Go that way. Youll be malfunctioning within a day, you near-sighted scrap pile. And dont let me catch you following me begging for help because you wont get it.

[a group of Stormtroopers have found the escape pod] Stormtrooper Officer: Someone *was* in the pod. The tracks go off in this direction. Stormtrooper: [holding up a ring of metal] Look, sir: Droids.

C-3PO: That malfunctioning little twirp, this is all his fault.

Governor Tarkin: Perhaps she would respond to an alternative form of persuasion. Darth Vader: What do you mean? Governor Tarkin: I think it is time we demonstrated the full power of this station. Set your course for Alderaan.

[Darth Vader enters Princess Leias cell, followed by a sinister looking interrogation droid] Darth Vader: And now, your highness, we will discuss the location of your hidden rebel base…

Han Solo: What kept you? Princess Leia: We outran some old friends.

Governor Tarkin: Are they away? Darth Vader: Theyve just made the jump into hyperspace. Governor Tarkin: Youre sure the homing beacon is secure aboard their ship? Im taking an awful risk, Vader. This had better work.

Princess Leia: Darth Vader. Only you could be so bold. The Imperial Senate will not sit still for this. When they hear youve attacked a diplomatic… Darth Vader: Dont act so surprised, Your Highness. You werent on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you. Princess Leia: I dont know what youre talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan… Darth Vader: You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take her away!

Princess Leia: [to Han] I knew there was more to you than money!

[Han, Luke, Leia and Chewie land in the trash compactor] Han Solo: Garbage chute. Really wonderful idea. What an incredible smell youve discovered! Lets get out of here! Get away from there… Luke: No, wait…! [Han draws his laser pistol and fires at the hatch. The laser bolt ricochets wildly around the small room. Everyone dives for cover in the garbage as the bolt finally explodes] Luke: Will you forget it? I already tried it. Its magnetically sealed! Princess Leia: Put that thing away, youre gonna get us all killed! Han Solo: Absolutely, Your Worship. Look, I had everything under control until you led us down here! Now its not going to take them long to figure out what happened to us. Princess Leia: It could be worse. [Garbage creature growls] Han Solo: Its worse.

[a group of Stormtroopers are chasing Han Solo and Chewbacca down a corridor] Stormtrooper: Close the blast doors! [the doors shut just after Han and Chewie run through the doorway, locking the Stormtroopers out] Stormtrooper: Open the blast doors! Open the blast doors!

[Luke and Leia are about to swing over the hole - Leia gives Luke a kiss] Princess Leia: For luck.

Red Six: I got a problem here. Biggs: Eject! Red Six: I can hold it. Biggs: Pull up! Red Six: No, Im all right… ahhh! [Porkins fighter explodes in a ball of fire]

Princess Leia: Looks like youve managed to cut off our only escape route. Han Solo: [sarcastically] Maybe youd like it back in your cell, your highness.

[Han is chasing some Stormtroopers] Princess Leia: He certainly has courage… Luke: Yeah, but what good will it do us if he gets himself killed? Come on! [Luke and Leia run off in the opposite direction]

[first title cards] Title card/crawl: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… Title card/crawl: It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire. During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empires ultimate weapon, the Death Star, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet. Pursued by the Empires sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy…

[first lines] C-3PO: Did you hear that? They shut down the main reactor. Well be destroyed for sure. This is madness.

[last lines] C-3PO: You must repair him! Sir, if any of my circuits or gears will help, Ill gladly donate them. Luke: Hell be all right.

[Luke is practicing lightsaber drills against a remote] Han Solo: Good against remotes is one thing. Good against the living, thats something else.

[Han has shot Greedo] Han Solo: [to the Bartender] Sorry about the mess! [tosses some coins onto the bar and walks out]

Princess Leia: This is some rescue! You came in here, but didnt you have a plan for getting out? Han Solo: [indicating Luke] Hes the brains, sweetheart!

Han Solo: Jabba, youre a wonderful human being.

Han Solo: Great shot, kid, that was one in a million!

Luke: You dont believe in the Force, do you? Han Solo: Kid, Ive flown from one side of this galaxy to the other, and Ive seen a lot of strange stuff, but Ive never seen *anything* to make me believe that theres one all-powerful Force controlling everything. Cause no mystical energy field controls *my* destiny. Its all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.

Han Solo: Hes the brains, sweetheart!

Darth Vader: Dont be too proud of this technological terror youve constructed; the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

Luke: Shes rich. Han Solo: [interested] Rich? Luke: Rich, powerful. Listen, if you were to rescue her, the reward would be… Han Solo: What? Luke: Well, more wealth than you can imagine! Han Solo: I dont know, I can imagine quite a bit.

[Attack warning alarms are sounding throughout the Death Star and stormtroopers, officers & technicians are running to their posts. An Imperial officer is trying to find Darth Vader & eventually finds him calmly walking down a hall towards the hangar bay] Imperial Officer: We count 30 Rebel ships, Lord Vader, but theyre so small theyre avoiding our turbo lasers! Darth Vader: Well have to destroy them ship to ship. Get the crews to their fighters. [the officer turns to carry out the order while Vader continues towards the hangar bay]

[Vader has reached the hangar bay where his personal Tie Advanced x1 is housed, as alarms continue to wail. He meets 2 Imperial pilots heading for the same hangar & addresses them] Darth Vader: Several fighters have broken off from the main group. Come with me! [the pilots follow Vader to the hangar]

C-3PO: And I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations. And this is my counterpart R2D2.

Princess Leia: [as the ships approach] Here they come. Luke: Theyre coming in too fast!

Luke: No, my father didnt fight in the Clone Wars. He was a navigator on a spice freighter. Obi-Wan: Thats what your uncle told you. He didnt hold with your fathers ideals; he felt he shouldve stayed here and not gotten involved. Luke: You fought in the Clone Wars? Obi-Wan: Yes. I was once a Jedi knight, the same as your father. Luke: I wish Id known him. Obi-Wan: He was the best star pilot in the galaxy, and a cunning warrior. I understand that youve become quite a good pilot yourself. [sorrowfully] Obi-Wan: And he was a good friend.

Han Solo: Sure hope the old man got that tractor beam out of commission, or this is gonna be a real short trip. Okay, hit it!

Obi-Wan: Your eyes can deceive you; dont trust them.

C-3PO: Therell be no escape for the princess this time.

Kikuchiyo: What do you think of farmers? You think theyre saints? Hah! Theyre foxy beasts! They say, “Weve got no rice, weve no wheat. Weve got nothing!” But they have! They have everything! Dig under the floors! Or search the barns! Youll find plenty! Beans, salt, rice, sake! Look in the valleys, theyve got hidden warehouses! They pose as saints but are full of lies! If they smell a battle, they hunt the defeated! Theyre nothing but stingy, greedy, blubbering, foxy, and mean! God damn it all! But then who made them such beasts? You did! You samurai did it! You burn their villages! Destroy their farms! Steal their food! Force them to labour! Take their women! And kill them if they resist! So what should farmers do?

Kambei Shimada: Go to the north. The decisive battle will be fought there. Gorobei Katayama: Why didnt you build a fence there? Kambei Shimada: A good fort needs a gap. The enemy must be lured in. So we can attack them. If we only defend, we lose the war.

Gisaku: Find hungry samurai.

[on taking Katsushiro as a student] Kambei Shimada: You embarrass me. Youre overestimating me. Listen, Im not a man with any special skill, but Ive had plenty of experience in battles; losing battles, all of them. In short, thats all I am. Drop such an idea for your own good. Katsushiro: No Sir, my decision has been made. Ill follow you sir. Kambei Shimada: I forbid it. I cant afford to take a kid with me.

[Kambei is considering the farmers offer] Kambei Shimada: Its impossible. Katsushiro: Sir! Why not arm them with…? Kambei Shimada: I thought of that, too. Katsushiro: But sir. Kambei Shimada: [pointedly] This would not be a game. A band of forty bandits! Two or three “samurai” could accomplish nothing. Defense is harder than offense. Mountains in the back of the village? Rikichi: Yes! Kambei Shimada: Can horses get over them? Rikichi: Yes! Kambei Shimada: Fields in front. The village is wide open to horsemen… until the fields are flooded. One guard for each direction takes four. Two more as a reserve. Youll need at least… seven, including me.

[last lines] Kambei Shimada: The farmers have won. We have lost.

Kambei Shimada: So. Again we are defeated. [Shichiroji looks puzzled at Kambei] Kambei Shimada: The farmers have won. Not us.

Heihachi Hayashida: Havent you ever seen anyone cut firewood before? Gorobei Katayama: You seem to enjoy it. Heihachi Hayashida: Thats just the way I am. Yah! [he chops another log] Gorobei Katayama: Youre good! Heihachi Hayashida: Not really. Its a lot harder than killing enemies. Yah! [he splits another log] Gorobei Katayama: Have you killed many? Heihachi Hayashida: Since its impossible to kill them all – yah! [he splits another log] Heihachi Hayashida: I usually run away. Gorobei Katayama: A splendid principle. Heihachi Hayashida: Thank you. Yah!

Heihachi Hayashida: Im Heinachi Hayashida, a fencer of the Wood Cut School.

Kyuzo: Dont you see? A real sword will kill you.

Shichiroji: Kikuchiyo, what on earth are you doing? Kikuchiyo: I cant kill a lot with one sword!

Kikuchiyo: You fool! Damn you! You call yourself a horse! For shame! Hey! Wait! Please! I apologize! Forgive me!

Kambei Shimada: Danger always strikes when everything seems fine.

Gisaku: Whats the use of worrying about your beard when your heads about to be taken?

Kyuzo: Killed Two.

[first lines] Bandit second-in-command: Well take this place next. Bandit Chief: We took it last autumn. They havent got anything worth taking yet. Lets wait.

Kambei Shimada: [subtitled version] This is the nature of war. By protecting others, you save yourselves.

[Gorobei is watching Heihachi, who is methodically splitting logs] Gorobei Katayama: Howd you like to kill thirty bandits? Heihachi Hayashida: [Spins around in surprise as his axe swings wide]

Aragorn: We have time. Every day Frodo moves closer to Mordor. Gandalf: Do we know that? Aragorn: What does your heart tell you? Gandalf: That Frodo is alive. Yes. Yes, hes alive.

Merry: [triumphantly, as Barad-Dur crumbles] Frodo! Frodo!

Aragorn: For Frodo!

Aragorn: Let the lord of the Black Land come forth! Let justice be done upon him! The Mouth of Sauron: My master, Sauron the Great, bids thee welcome. Is there any in this rout with authority to treat with me? Gandalf: We do not come to treat with Sauron, faithless and accursed. Tell your master this: the armies of Mordor must disband. He is to depart these lands, never to return. The Mouth of Sauron: Ahh, old grey beard. I have a token I was bidden to show thee. [Pulls out Frodos mithril vest and throws it at them] Pippin: [whispers] Frodo… Gandalf: Silence. Merry: No! Gandalf: Silence! The Mouth of Sauron: The halfling was dear to thee, I see. Know that he suffered greatly at the hands of his host. Who wouldve thought one so small could endure so much pain? And he did, Gandalf, he did. [pause; Aragorn rides towards the Mouth of Sauron] The Mouth of Sauron: And who is this? Isildurs heir? It takes more to make a king that a broken Elvish blade… [Aragorn cuts off the Mouth of Saurons head with one stroke of Anduril] Gimli: I guess that concludes negotiations. Aragorn: [to Gandalf] I do not believe it! I will not!

Sam: [Both are overcome by exhaustion] Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo? Itll be spring soon. And the orchards will be in blossom. And the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And theyll be sowing the summer barley in the lower fields… and eating the first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries? Frodo: No, Sam. I cant recall the taste of food… nor the sound of water… nor the touch of grass. Im… naked in the dark, with nothing, no veil… between me… and the wheel of fire! I can see him… with my waking eyes! Sam: Then let us be rid of it… once and for all! Come on, Mr. Frodo. I cant carry it for you… but I can carry you!

Sam: FRODO! Frodo: Im here Sam. Sam: Destroy it! [Frodo holds the ring on its chain over the edge of the pit] Sam: Go on! Now! Throw it in the fire! [Frodo stares at the ring, the ring whispers to him] Sam: What are you waiting for? Just let it go! [Frodo turns and looks at Sam] Frodo: The ring is mine. [He snaps the chain and approaches the ring to his finger] Sam: No… no… [Frodo slips the ring on and vanishes] Sam: NO!

Sam: [tearing the spider silk away from Frodos face] Oh no! Frodo… Mr. Frodo, wake up… Dont leave me here alone. Dont go where I cant follow… Wake up.

Sam: I dont think there will be a return journey, Mr. Frodo.

Galadriel: The power of the Three Rings is ended. The time has come… for the dominion of Men. Elrond: [in Elvish] The Sea calls us home. Bilbo: [smiling] I think Im… quite ready for another adventure! [Bilbo climbs on board with Elrond. Galadriel follows with Celeborn] Gandalf: Farewell, my brave Hobbits. My work is now finished. Here at last, on the shores of the sea… comes the end of our Fellowship. I will not say do not weep, for not all tears are an evil. [Heads to the ship, then turns around, waiting] Gandalf: It is time, Frodo. Sam: What does he mean? Frodo: We set out to save the Shire, Sam. And it has been saved… But not for me. Sam: [weeping] You dont mean that. You cant leave. Frodo: [hands Sam the Red Book] The last pages are for you, Sam.

Gandalf: Hes suffered a defeat, yes, but… behind the walls of Mordor, our enemy is regrouping. Gimli: Let him stay there. *Let him rot!* Why should we care? Gandalf: Because 10,000 Orcs now stand between Frodo and Mount Doom. Ive sent him to his death. Aragorn: No. There is still hope for Frodo. He needs time… and safe passage across the plains of Gorgoroth. We can give him that. Gimli: How? Aragorn: Draw out Saurons armies. Empty his lands. Then we gather our full strength and march on the Black Gate. Eomer: We cannot achieve victory through strength of arms. Aragorn: Not for ourselves. But we can give Frodo his chance if we keep Saurons Eye fixed upon us. Keep him blind to all else that moves. Legolas: A diversion. Gimli: Certainty of death, *small* chance of success… What are we waiting for? Gandalf: Sauron will suspect a trap. He will not take the bait. Aragorn: [knowingly] No, I think he will.

Sam: There and Back Again: A Hobbits Tale by Bilbo Baggins, and The Lord of the Rings by Frodo Baggins. You finished it. Frodo: Not quite. Theres room for a little more.

Gollum: Wake up. Wake up. Wake up, sleepies. We must go, yeeees, we must go at once. Sam: Havent you had any sleep, Mr. Frodo? [Frodo shakes his head] Sam: Ive gone and had too much… it must be getting late. Frodo: No, it isnt. It isnt midday, yet. The days are growing darker. Gollum: Come on! We must go, no time! Sam: Not before Mr. Frodos had something to eat. Gollum: [impatiently] No time to lose, silly! Sam: [Gives Frodo lembas] Here. Frodo: What about you? Sam: Oh no, Im not hungry. Leastways, not for lembas bread. Frodo: Sam… Sam: All right… we dont have that much left. We have to be careful, we dont want to run out. You go ahead and eat that, Mr. Frodo. Ive rationed it… there should be enough. Frodo: Enough for what? Sam: The journey home.

Pippin: Gandalf, forgive me. Gandalf: Look at me. What did you see? Pippin: A tree. There was a white tree in a courtyard of stone. It was dead. The city was burning. Gandalf: Minas Tirith? Is that what you saw? Pippin: I saw… I saw him. I can hear his voice in my head. Gandalf: What did you tell him? Speak! Pippin: He asked me my name. I didnt answer. He hurt me. Gandalf: What did you tell him about Frodo and the Ring? [scene cuts to later] Gandalf: There was no lie in Pippins eyes. A fool… but an honest fool, he remains. He told Sauron nothing of the Ring. Weve been strangely fortunate. Pippin saw in the Palantir a glimpse of the enemys plan. Sauron moves to strike Minas Tirith.

Sam: [Frodo is being drawn toward Cirith Ungol] No, Mister Frodo! Gollum: [in a panic] Not that way! Oh! Whats he doing?

[extended version, the Houses of Healing] Eowyn: The city has fallen silent. There is no warmth left in the sun. Faramir: [approaching her] It is only the damp of the first spring rain. [Eowyn looks up at him] Faramir: I do not believe this darkness will endure.

[in a drinking game] Gimli: Its the Dwarves that go swimming with little, hairy woman. [he burps] Legolas: I feel something. A slight tingle in my fingers. I think its affecting me. Gimli: What did I say? He cant hold his liquor. [Gimli passes out] Legolas: [to Eomer who is watching] Game over.

[first lines] Deagol: Smeagol, Ive got one! Ive got a fish, Smeag. Smeagol! Smeagol: Pull it in. Go on. Go on. Go on. Pull it in.

[from extended version] Pippin: [to himself] What were you thinking, Peregrin Took? What service could a hobbit offer such a great lord of men? Faramir: [approaching] It was well done. Generous deeds should not be checked by cold council. You are to join the tower guard? Pippin: I didnt think they would find any livery that would fit me. Faramir: It once belonged to a boy of the citadel. A very foolish one; who spent many hours slaying dragons instead of attending to his studies. Pippin: This was yours? Faramir: Yes, it was mine. My father had it made for me. Pippin: Well, Im taller than you were then. Though Im not likely to grow anymore… except sideways. [they laugh] Faramir: Never fitted me either. Boromir was always the soldier. They were so alike, he and my father. Proud… stubborn even. But strong. Pippin: I think you have strength, of a different kind. And one day your father will see it.

Aragorn: I do not fear death.

Aragorn: I summon you to fulfill your oath. King of the Dead: None but the king of Gondor may command me. [Swings sword; Aragorn blocks him with the sword Anduril] King of the Dead: That blade was broken! [Aragorn takes him by the throat] Aragorn: It has been remade. [Aragorn releases the King of the Dead; pause] Aragorn: Fight for us… and regain your honor.

Gimli: They had no honor in life. They have none now in death.

Denethor: No tomb for Denethor and Faramir. No long, slow sleep of death embalmed. We shall burn, like the heathen kings of old. Bring wood and oil.

Saruman: You have fought many wars and slain many men, Theoden King, and made peace afterwards. Can we not take council as we once did, my old friend? Can we not have peace? Theoden: We shall have peace… We shall have peace, when you answer for the burning of the Westfold, and the children that lie dead there! We shall have peace, when the lives of the soldiers whose bodies were hewn even as they dead against the gates of the Hornberg, are avenged! When you hang from a gibbit for the sport of your own crows…! We shall have peace. Saruman: Gibbits and crows! DOTARD! What do *you* want, Gandalf Greyhame? Let me guess. The key of Orthanc? Or perhaps the keys of Barad-Dur itself? Along with the crowns of the seven kings and the rods of the five wizards?

Sam: It must be getting near tea-time, leastways in decent places where there *is* still tea-time. Gollum: Were not *in* decent places.

Gandalf: [to Pippin] Now, listen carefully. Lord Denethor is Boromirs father. To give him news of his beloved sons death would be most unwise. And do not mention Frodo, or the Ring. And say nothing of Aragorn either. In fact, its better if you dont speak at all, Peregrin Took.

Denethor: Can you sing, Master Hobbit? Pippin: Well… yes. At least, well enough for my own people. But we have no songs for great halls and… evil times. Denethor: And why should your songs be unfit for my hall? Come, sing me a song. [pause] Pippin: [sings] Home is behind, the world ahead… And there are many paths to tread. Through shadow, to the edge of night, until the stars are all alight… Mist and shadow, cloud and shade, all shall fade… all… shall… fade…

Aragorn: Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you *stand, Men of the West!*

Gandalf: Go back to the abyss! Fall into nothingness that awaits you and your master! Witch King: Do you not know death when you see it, old man? This is my hour!

Smeagol: Clever Hobbits, to climb so high! [jumps on them, pins Frodo to the ground and grips him by the throat] Smeagol: Mustnt go that way! Mustnt hurt the Precious! Frodo: You swore! You swore on the Precious! Smeagol: [mocking] Oo-hoo-hoo-hoo… Frodo: SMEAGOL PROMISED! Smeagol: Smeagol lied.

Sam: [Frodo stops walking] Mr. Frodo? What is it? Frodo: Just a thought… I dont think Im going to be returning. Sam: Of course you are. Thats just morbid thinking, that is.

Aragorn: Behold! The sword of Elendil!

Elrond: Youre outnumbered, Aragorn. You need more men. Aragorn: There are none. Elrond: There are those who dwell in the mountain. Aragorn: Murderers. Traitors. You would call upon them to fight? They believe in nothing. They answer to no one. Elrond: They will answer to the king of Gondor. [pulls out Anduril] Elrond: Anduril, Flame of the West, forged from the shards of Narsil. Aragorn: Sauron will not have forgotten the sword of Elendil. The blade that was broken shall return to Minas Tirith. Elrond: The man who can wield the power of this sword can summon to him an army more deadly than any that walks this earth. Put aside the ranger. Become who you were born to be. Take the Dimholt Road. Elrond: [pause] [in Elvish] Elrond: I give hope to men. Aragorn: [in Elvish] I keep none for myself.

Aragorn: [to the corsair ships] You may go no further! You will not enter Gondor. Captain: Who are you to deny us passage? Aragorn: Legolas, fire a warning shot past the bosuns ear. Gimli: Mind your aim! [Legolas aims; Gimli knocks the bow as he shoots and the arrow kills the bosun] Gimli: Oh! Thats it, right! We warned you! Prepare to be boarded! [the corsairs laugh] Captain: Boarded! By you and whose army? Aragorn: *This* army. [the army of the dead charges through him and onto the ships]

Eowyn: Courage, Merry, courage for our friends.

Smeagol: …and take it for ME. Gollum: For us. Smeagol: Yes, we… we meant for us.

Denethor: Is there a captain here who still has the courage to do his lords will? Faramir: You wish now that our places had been exchanged… that I had died and Boromir had lived. Denethor: Yes. [whispering] Denethor: I wish that. Faramir: Since you are robbed of Boromir… I will do what I can in his stead. [Bows and turns to leave] Faramir: If I should return, think better of me, Father. Denethor: That will depend on the manner of your return.

Galadriel: The power of the Three Rings is ended. The time has come… for the dominion of Men. Elrond: I Aear c?n ven na mar. [Elvish: The Sea calls us home] Bilbo: I think Im… quite ready for another adventure. [Climbs on board with Elrond. Galadriel gets on boat with Celeborn] Gandalf: Farewell… my brave Hobbits. My work is now finished. Here at last, on the shores of the sea… comes the end of our Fellowship. I will not say, Do not weep… not all tears are an evil. [Heads to the ship, then turns around, waiting] Gandalf: It is time, Frodo. Sam: What does he mean? Frodo: We set out to save the Shire, Sam. And it has been saved. But not for me. Sam: You dont mean that. You cant leave.

Theoden: I have left instruction. The people are to follow your rule in my stead. Take up my seat in the Golden Hall. Long may you defend Edoras if the battle goes ill. Eowyn: What other duty would you have me do? Theoden: Duty? No… I would have you smile again, not grieve for those whose time has come. You shall live to see these days renewed. No more despair.

Gamling: He leaves because there is no hope. Theoden: He leaves because he must. Gamling: Too few have come. We cannot defeat the armies of Mordor. Theoden: No. We cannot. But we will meet them in battle nonetheless.

Eowyn: I will kill you if you touch him! Witch King: Do not come between the Nazgul and his prey.

Sam: [to Shelob] Let him go, you filth. Let him go! You will not touch him again!

Pippin: Is there any hope, Gandalf, for Frodo and Sam? Gandalf: There never was much hope. Just a fools hope.

Gollum: Wake up. Wake up. Wake up, sleepies. We must go, yeeees, we must go at once. Sam: Havent you had any sleep, Mr. Frodo? [Frodo shakes his head] Sam: Ive gone and had too much… it must be getting late. Frodo: No, its not. Its not midday, yet. The days are growing darker. Gollum: We must go. Sam: Not until Mr. Frodo has had something to eat. Gollum: No time to lose, silly. Sam: [Gives Frodo lembas bread] Here, eat this. Frodo: What about you? Sam: Im not hungry. Leastways, not for lembas bread. Frodo: Sam… Sam: Alright… we dont have that much left. You go ahead and eat that, Mr. Frodo. Ive rationed it… there should be enough left. Frodo: For what? Sam: The journey home.

Sam: Give me your hand. Take my hand. Dont you let go. Dont let go… *Reach!*

Sam: You miserable little maggot. Ill stove your head in!

Frodo: I need you on my side. Sam: Im on your side Mr Frodo. Frodo: I know you are Sam.

Theoden: I know your face… Eowyn. My eyes darken. Eowyn: No. No. Im going to save you. Theoden: You already did… Eowyn. My body is broken. You have to let me go. I go to my fathers, in whose mighty company I shall not now feel ashamed. Eowyn… [dies]

Sam: I heard it from his own mouth! He means to murder us! Gollum: Never! Smeagol wouldnt hurt a fly!

Witch King: [taking Eowyn by the throat] You fool. No man can kill me. Die now. [Merry stabs the Witch King from behind; the Witch King shrieks and falls to his knees. Eowyn rises and pulls off her helm, her hair falls down over her shoulder] Eowyn: I am no man. [she thrusts her sword into the Witch Kings helm and twists; he shrieks and implodes]

[as he kills the three Orcs guarding Frodo] Sam: Thats for Frodo! And for the Shire! *And thats for my old Gaffer!*

Theoden: Eomer. Take your Èored down the left flank. Gamling, follow the Kings banner down the center. Grimbold, take your company right, after you pass the wall. Forth, and fear no darkness! Arise! Arise, Riders of Theoden! Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered! A sword day… a red day… ere the sun rises! Eowyn: [to Merry] What ever happens, stay with me. Ill look after you. [the King rides past his men, hitting their spears with his sword as he goes] Theoden: Ride now!… Ride now!… Ride! Ride to ruin and the worlds ending! [He stops and faces Saurons army] Theoden: Death! Rohirrim: [echoing] Death! Theoden: Death! Rohirrim: [echoing] Death! Theoden: DEATH! Eowyn, Merry: Death! Theoden: Forth, Eorlingas!

Pippin: [kneeling] I offer you my service, such as it is, in payment of this debt. Denethor: This is my first command to you. How did you escape, and my son did not, so mighty a man as he was? Pippin: The mightiest man may be slain by one arrow… and Boromir was pierced by many. Gandalf: Get up. My Lord, there will be a time to greive for Boromir, but it is not now. War is coming. The enemy is on your doorstep. As steward, you are charged with the defense of this city. Where are Gondors armies? You still have friends. You are not alone in this fight. Send word of Theoden of Rohan. Light the Beacons.

Gandalf: Frodo has passed beyond my sight. The darkness is deepening. Aragorn: If Sauron had the Ring, we would know it. Gandalf: Its only a matter of time.

Witch King: Send forth all legions. Do not stop the attack until the city is taken. Slay them all. Gothmog: What of the wizard? Witch King: I will break him.

Eomer: Now is the hour! Riders of Rohan! Oaths you have taken, now fulfill them all, to lord and land!

[From Trailer] Gandalf: The board is set… the pieces are moving

[From Trailer] Elrond: You gave away your lifes grace. I cannot protect you anymore.

Legolas: The stars are veiled. Something stirs in the East. A sleepless malice. The eye of the enemy is moving. He is HERE.

[after Legolas single-handedly takes out an Oliphant and its drivers] Gimli: That still only counts as one.

Gimli: Never thought Id die fighting side by side with an Elf. Legolas: What about side by side with a friend? Gimli: Aye. I could do that.

Gimli: Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?

Frodo: [after destroying the Ring] I can see the Shire. The Brandywine River. Bag End. The Lights in the Party Tree. Sam: Rosie Cotton dancing. She had ribbons in her hair. If ever I were to marry someone, it would have been her. It would have been her. [sits down and begins to cry] Frodo: [leans over and hugs him] Im glad to be with you, Samwise Gamgee, here at the end of all things.

Eomer: You should not encourage him. Eowyn: You should not doubt him. Eomer: I do not doubt his heart, only the reach of his arm.

Eowyn: Why are you doing this? The war lies to the East. You cannot leave on the eve of battle. [pause] Eowyn: You cannot abandon the men. Aragorn: Eowyn… Eowyn: We need you here. Aragorn: Why have you come? Eowyn: Do you not know? Aragorn: It is but a shadow and a thought that you love. I cannot give you what you seek.

[Merry gives Pippin a tobacco pouch at their parting] Pippin: The last of the Longbottom leaf? Merry: I know youve run out. You smoke too much, Pip.

Gandalf: I will not say, Do not weep, for not all tears are an evil.

Aragorn: [to Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry] My friends. You bow to no-one. [He kneels, and the entire kingdom follows suit, kneeling to the hobbits]

Frodo: [voiceover] And thus it was. A fourth age of middle-earth began. And the fellowship of the ring… though eternally bound by friendship and love… was ended. Thirteen months to the day since Gandalf sent us on our long journey… we found ourselves looking upon a familiar sight. We were home. How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on… when in your heart you begin to understand… there is no going back? There are somethings that time cannot mend… some hurts that go too deep… that have taken hold. Bilbo once told me his part in this tale would end… that each of us must come and go in the telling. Bilbos story was now over. There would be no more journeys for him… save one. My dear Sam. You cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be and to do. Your part in the story will go on.

Pippin: I didnt think it would end this way. Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesnt end here. Death is just another path… One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass… And then you see it. Pippin: What? Gandalf?… See what? Gandalf: White shores… and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise. Pippin: [smiling] Well, that isnt so bad. Gandalf: [softly] No… No it isnt.

Frodo: The Ring is mine.

Gandalf: Authority is not given to you to deny the return of the king, *steward*. Denethor: The rule of Gondor is mine! And no others!

Theoden: I take my leave. Aragorn: My lord Elrond. Elrond: I come on behalf of one whom I love. Arwen is dying. She will not long survive the evil that now spreads from Mordor. The light of the Evenstar is failing. As Saurons power grows, her strength wanes. Arwens life is now tied to the fate of the Ring. The Shadow is upon us, Aragorn. The end has come. Aragorn: It will not be our end but his.

Aragorn: The Beacons of Minas Tirith! The Beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid. Theoden: And Rohan will answer. Muster the Rohirrim. Assemble the army at Dunharrow. As many men as can be found. You have two days. On the third, we ride for Gondor… and war.

Pippin: Its so quiet. Gandalf: Its the deep breath before the plunge. Pippin: I dont want to be in a battle. But waiting on the edge of one I cant escape is even worse.

Frodo: We set out to save the Shire, Sam and it has been saved – but not for me.

Legolas: The horses are restless, and the men are quiet.

Legolas: The way is shut. It was made by those who are dead, and the dead keep it. The way is shut.

Gimli: Well, this is a thing unheard of. An Elf would go underground, where a Dwarf dare not. Oh, Id never hear the end of it.

Sam: What are you up to? Sneaking off, are we? Gollum: Sneaking? Sneaking? Fat hobbit is always so polite. Smeagol shows them secret ways that nobody else could find, and they say “sneak!” Sneak? Very nice friend. Oh, yes, my precious. Very nice, very nice. Sam: All right, all right! You just startled me is all. What were you doing? Gollum: Sneaking.

[last lines] Sam: Well, Im back.

Pippin: I feel like Im back at the Green Dragon. Merry: [through a mouthful of food] Mm. Green Dragon. Pippin: A mug of ale in my hand, putting my feet up on a settle after a hard days work. Merry: Only, youve never done a hard days work. [They laugh; Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli ride up. Merry stands and gives an exaggerated bow] Merry: Welcome, my lords, to Isengard! Gimli: You young rascals! A merry hunt youve led us on, and now we find you… feasting and… and *smoking.* Pippin: We are sitting on a field of victory enjoying a few well-earned comforts. [Merry blows a smoke ring] Pippin: The salted pork is particularly good. Gimli: [eagerly] Salted pork? Gandalf: [exasperated] Hobbits. Merry: Were under orders from Treebeard, who has taken over management of Isengard. Treebeard: [as they walk toward the tower] Hroom, young master Gandalf! Im relieved that youve come. Wood and water, stock and stone I can master, but theres a wizard to manage here. Locked his tower.

Arwen: Tell me what you have seen. Elrond: Arwen? Arwen: You have the gift of foresight. What did you see? Elrond: I looked into your future and I saw death. Arwen: But there is also life. You *saw* there was a child, you saw my son! Elrond: That future is almost gone. Arwen: But it is not lost. Elrond: Nothing is certain. Arwen: Some things are certain. If I leave him now, I will regret it forever.

Pippin: [singing to Denethor as Faramir leads the charge] Home is behind, the world ahead… and there are many paths to tread… Through shadow… To the edge of night… Until the stars are all alight… Mist and shadow, cloud and shade… All shall fade… all… shall… fade.

Denethor: My sons are spent. My line has ended. Rohan has deserted us. Theodens betrayed me. Abandon your posts! Flee, flee for your lives! [He turns around, and Gandalf knocks him out with his staff] Gandalf: Prepare for battle!

Gandalf: Faramir! [Running after Faramir] Gandalf: Faramir! Your fathers will has turned to madness. Do not throw away your life so rashly. Faramir: Where does my allegiance lie if not here? This is the city of the men of Numenor. I would gladly give my life to defend her beauty, her memory… her wisdom… Gandalf: Your father loves you, Faramir. He will remember it before the end.

Gollum: Shes always hungry. She always needs to feed. She must eat. All she gets is nasty orcses. Smeagol: And they doesnt taste very nice, does they, Precious? Gollum: No. Not very nice at all, my love.

[Frodo drinks the last drops of water from Sams waterskin] Frodo: Therell be none left for the return journey. Sam: I dont think there will be a return journey, Mr. Frodo.

Pippin: How far is Minas Tirith? Gandalf: Three days ride, as the Nazgul flies, and youd better hope we dont have one of those on our tail.

Merry: Are you going to leave me? Pippin: No, Merry. Im going to look after you.

Merry: Why did you look? Why do you always have to look? Pippin: I dont know. I cant help it. Merry: You never can. Pippin: Im sorry, all right? I wont do it again. Merry: Dont you understand? The enemy thinks you have the Ring. Hes going to be looking for you Pip. They have to get you out of here. Pippin: And you… youre coming with me? [Merry impatiently walks away] Pippin: Merry? Merry: Come on.

Pippin: But well see each other soon. Wont we? Merry: I dont know. I dont know what is going to happen. Pippin: Merry… Gandalf: Run, Shadowfax. Show us the meaning of haste. Pippin: Merry! [Shadowfax gallops off, carrying Gandalf and Pippin away]

Gandalf: Of all the inquisitive Hobbits, Peregrin Took, you are the worst.

Frodo: [hands Sam the book] The last pages are for you, Sam.

Denethor: You think you are wise, Mithrandir. Yet for all your subtleties, you have not wisdom. Do you think the eyes of the White Tower are blind? I have seen more than you know. With your left hand you would use me as a shield against Mordor, and with your right you would seek to supplant me. I know who rides with Theoden of Rohan. Oh, yes. Word has reached my ears of this Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and I tell you now, I will not bow to this Ranger from the North, last of a ragged house long bereft of lordship!

Gothmog: The Age of Men is over. The Time of the Orc has come.

Pippin: Here do I swear fealty and service to Gondor. In peace or war. In living or dying. F… f… from this hour henceforth, until my lord release me… or death take me. Denethor: And I shall not forget it. Nor fail to reward that which is given. Fealty with love, valor with honor, disloyalty with vengeance.

King of the Dead: The dead do not suffer the living to pass. Aragorn: You will suffer me.

Frodo: My dear Sam. You cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be and to do. Your part in the story will go on.

Elrond: Your hands are cold. The life of the Eldar is leaving you. Arwen: This was my choice… ada, whether by your will or not, there is no ship now that can bear me hence.

Smeagol: Give us that, Deagol my love. Deagol: Why? Smeagol: Because its my birthday, and I wants it.

Gimli: Theres plenty for the both of us, may the best dwarf win.

[to Smeagol, outside Shelobs lair] Frodo: I have to destroy it, Smeagol. I have to destroy it for both our sakes.

Galadriel: This task was appointed to you, Frodo of the Shire. If you do not find a way, no one will.

[Gollum and Frodo stand in front of a tunnel opening, and Frodo hesitates to go in] Gollum: Its the only way. Go in, or go back. Frodo: I cannot go back.

Arwen: From the ashes, a fire shall be woken. A light from the shadow shall spring. Renewed shall be blade that was broken. The crownless again shall be king.

Frodo: You cant help me anymore. Sam: You dont mean that. Frodo: Go home.

[singing] Merry, Pippin: You can search far and wide. You can drink the whole town dry. But youll never find a beer so brown as the one we drink in our hometown. You can drink your fancy ales. You can drink them by the flagon. But the only brew for the brave and tru-u-u-ue comes from the Green Dragon!

Pippin: [pulls sword from scabbard] So I imagine this is just a… ceremonial possession? I mean, they dont actually expect me to do any fighting… Do they? Gandalf: Youre in the service of the steward now. Youll have to do as youre told, Peregrin Took. [shakes his head] Gandalf: Guard of the Citadel.

Gandalf: This will be the end of Gondor as we know it. Here the hammer-stroke will fall hardest.

[Gorbag advances towards Frodo with a knife] Gorbag: Im gonna bleed you like a stuck pig. [Gorbag is stabbed from behind by Sam] Sam: Not if I stick you first.

[Aragorn dreams of a pale, dying Arwen] Arwen: I wish I could have seen him again, one last time.

[Aragorn is crowned King] Aragorn: This day does not belong to one man but to all. Let us together rebuild this world that we may share in the days of peace.

Bilbo: Tell me again, lad… where are we going? Frodo: To the harbor, Bilbo. The elves have accorded you a special honor; a place on the last ship to leave Middle Earth. Bilbo: Frodo… Any chance of seeing that old ring again? Hmm? The one I gave you? Frodo: Im sorry, uncle… Im afraid I lost it. Bilbo: Oh… Pity. Should have liked to have held it one last time.

[Aragorn readies to take the Paths of the Dead. He leads his horse towards the entrance and passes by Gimli, who stops him] Gimli: Where do you think youre going? Aragorn: Not this time Gimli. This time you must stay. [Legolas walks up to them, leading his horse] Legolas: Have you learned nothing of the stubbornness of dwarves? Gimli: You may as well accept it. Were going with you, laddy.

Shagrat: This scum will be awake in a couple of hours. Gorbag: And then hell wish hed never been born.

Witch King: Feast on his flesh.

Gandalf: If the beacons of Gondor are lit, Rohan must be ready for war. Theoden: Tell me, why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours? What do we owe Gondor?

Aragorn: I will go. Gandalf: No. Aragorn: They must be warned. Gandalf: They will be.

Gandalf: I ride for Minas Tirith… [looks at Pippin] Gandalf: …and I wont be going alone.

Gondorian Soldier 1: The beacon! The beacon of Amon Din is lit. Gandalf: Hope is kindled.

Gandalf: Now come the days of the king! [whispers] Gandalf: May they be blessed.

Eowyn: Ride with me. Merry: [smiles] My lady!

Eowyn: He has just as much reason to go to war as you do. Why can he not fight for those he loves?

Pippin: But we have the white wizard. Thats got to count for something.

Gandalf: We come to it, at last. The great battle of our time.

Theoden: Tonight we remember those who gave their blood to defend this country. Hail the victorious dead. All: Hail!

Sam: Its that Gollum, its this place, its that thing around your neck. I could help a bit, I could carry it, share the load… Frodo: GET AWAY! Sam: I dont want to keep it. I just want to help.

[Eowyn hands Aragorn a goblet, he drinks and moves away] Theoden: [to Eowyn] I am happy for you. He is an honorable man. Eowyn: You are both honorable men. Theoden: It was not Theoden of Rohan who led our people to victory.

Galadriel: And for you, Frodo Baggins, I give you the light of Earendil our most beloved star. May it be a light to you in dark places when all other lights go out. Frodo: Aiya Earendil Elenion Ancalima

Gollum: They cursed us. Murderer they called us. They cursed us, and drove us away. And we wept, Precious, we wept to be so alone. And we only wish to catch fish so juicy sweet. And we forgot the taste of bread… the sound of trees… the softness of the wind. We even forgot our own name. My Precious.

Gandalf: So passes Denethor, son of Ecthelion.

Gandalf: Hail Denethor, son of Ecthelion, Lord and Steward of Gondor.

Gandalf: Not at the towers! Aim for the trolls! Kill the trolls! Bring them down!

Gandalf: Send these foul beasts into the abyss.

Gothmog: [sniffs] Fear. The city is rank with it. Let us ease their suffering.

Gollum: [singing] Pretty little fly. Why does he cry? Caught in a web. Soon hell be… eaten.

[Aragorn is looking toward the paths of the dead, when Gimli interrupts] Gimli: Aragorn, lets find some food.

Denethor: He is burning… already burning. Pippin: Hes not dead! Hes not dead! [Denethor drags him out] Pippin: No! No! Hes not dead! Stop! Denethor: Farewell, Peregrin, son of Paladin… I release you from my service. Go now and die in what way seems best to you.

Gandalf: Fight! Fight to the last man! Fight for your lives!

Frodo: What is this place? Gollum: Master must go inside the tunnel. Frodo: Now that Im here, I dont think I want to.

Sam: Im sorry to wake you, Mr. Frodo. We have to be moving on. [Slowly Frodo gets up, his voice sounding wearied] Frodo: Its dark still… Sam: Its always dark here.

Gandalf: [During the siege of Gondor] Peregrin Took! Go back to the Citadel! Pippin: [dazed] They called us out to fight. Gandalf: This is no place for a Hobbit! [He lays about him with his sword and staff; an orc rushes up behind him and Pippin kills it. Gandalf looks at Pippin] Gandalf: [impressed] Guard of the Citadel indeed!

[Gandalf is fighting and sees a moth. He looks up to see... ] Pippin: Eagles! The eagles are coming!

Sam: You cant go walking through Mordor in naught but your skin.

Gothmog: Release the prisoners! Orc Lieutenant 1: Catapults! [the catapults fling dozens of severed heads into the city]

Sam: [about Gollum] You dont see it, do you? Hes a villain.

Pippin: Its the tree. Gandalf! Gandalf! Gandalf: Yes the white tree of Gondor. The tree of the King. Lord Denethor, however, is not the king. He is a steward only, a caretaker of the throne.

Gandalf: Peregrin Took, there is a task now to be done. Another opportunity for one of the Shirefolk to prove their great worth. You must not fail me.

Faramir: Mithrandir! They broke through our defenses! Theyve taken the bridge and the west bank. Battalions of Orcs are crossing the river. Irolas: It is as the Lord Denethor predicted. Long has he forseen this doom. Gandalf: Forseen and done nothing!

Gandalf: Faramir? This is not the first halfing to have crossed your path. Faramir: No. Pippin: Youve seen Frodo and Sam? Gandalf: Where? When? Faramir: In Ithilien. Not two days ago. Gandalf, theyre taking the road to the Morgul Vale. Gandalf: And then the pass of Cirith Ungol. Pippin: What does that mean? Whats wrong? Gandalf: Faramir, tell me everything.

Theoden: Grimbold, how many? Grimbold: I bring 500 from the Westfold, my lord. Gamling: We have 300 more from Fenmarch, Theoden King. Theoden: Where are the riders of Snowbourn? Gamling: None have come, my lord.

Theoden: Six thousand spears. Less than half of what Id hoped for. Aragorn: Six thousand will not be enough to break the lines of Mordor. Theoden: More will come. Aragorn: Every hour lost hastens Gondors defeat. We have till dawn, then we must ride.

Gimli: That road there… where does that lead? Legolas: It is the road to the Dimholt, the door under the mountain. Eomer: None who venture there ever return. That mountain is evil.

Elrond: You ride to war, but not to victory. Saurons armies march on Minas Tirith, this you know. But in secret he sends another force which will attack from the river. A fleet of Corsairs ships sails from the south. They reach the city in two days.

Gimli: What kind of army would linger in such a place? Legolas: One that is cursed. Long ago the men of the mountain swore an oath to the last king of Gondor, to come to his aid, to fight. But when the time came, when Gondors need was dire, they fled, vanishing into the darkness of the mountain. And so Isildur cursed them, never to rest until they had fulfilled their pledge. Who shall call them from the gray twilight, the forgotten people?

Aragorn: What say you? What say you? I am Isildurs heir. Fight for me. And I will hold your oaths fulfilled. What say you?

Gandalf: Our enemy is ready, his full strength gathered. Not only orcs, but men as well: legions of Haradrim from the south, mercenaries from the coast. All will answer Mordors call.

Gandalf: Hold them back! Do not give in to fear! Stand to your posts! FIGHT!

King of the Dead: Release us. Gimli: Bad idea. Very handy in a tight spot, these lads, despite the fact theyre dead.

Denethor: Why do the fools fly? Better to die sooner than late. For die we must.

Denethor: [to Faramir, about his loyalty] Ever you desire to appear lordly and gracious as a king of old. Boromir would have remembered his fathers need. He would have brought me a kingly gift. Faramir: Boromir would not have brought the Ring. He would have stretched out his hand to this thing, and taking it, he would have fallen. Denethor: You know nothing of this matter! Faramir: He would have kept it for his own! And when he returned, you would not have known your son. Denethor: [jumping up angrily] Boromir was loyal to me! Not some wizards pupil! [Denethor cries and falls back into his chair; Faramir approaches him] Faramir: Father? [Denethor looks over Faramirs shoulder and smiles] Denethor: My son! [an image of Boromir appears behind Faramir. Boromir smiles and then the image fades. Denethor is left looking at Faramir. His mood shifts back to anger] Denethor: Leave me! [Faramir hesitates and departs]

Aragorn: I have wished you joy since first I saw you.

Gorbag: [as he and Shagrat come upon Frodos body] Whats this? Looks like old Shelob has been having a bit of fun. Shagrat: Killed another one, has she? Gorbag: [he examines Frodos body] No… this fellow aint dead. Sam: [to himself, in tears] Not dead! Gorbag: She jabs them with her stinger and they go as limp as a boned fish. Then she has her way with them. Thats how she likes to feed-fresh blood. Take him to the tower! [the Orcs begin to drag Frodo away] Sam: Samwise, you fool!

Denethor: I am the servant of the house of Anarion. Thus I have walked… thus now I will asleep.

Sam: I cant carry it for you, but I can carry you.

Sam: Sam: what are you up to? Sneaking off are we? Gollum: Gollum: Sneaking? Sneaking? Fat hobbit is always so polite. Smeagol shows them secret way that nobody else could find. And they say sneak! Sneak? Very nice friend oh yes My Precious very nice… Sam: Sam: All right all right! You just startled me is all. What were you doing? Gollum: Gollum: Sneaking. Sam: Sam: Fine have it your own way. Im sorry to wake you Mr Frodo, we have to be moving on. Frodo: Frodo: Its dark still Sam: Sam: Its always dark here. Its gone! The elven bread! Frodo: Frodo: what? Thats all we have left. Sam: Sam: He took it! He must have! Gollum: Gollum: Smeagol? Oh no not poor Smeagol. Smeagol hates nasty elf bread Sam: Sam: Youre a lying wretch. What did you do with it? Frodo: Frodo: He doesnt eat it. He cant have taken it. Gollum: Gollum: Look. Whats this? Crumbs on his jacketses. He took it! He took it! I seen him Sam: Sam: Thats a filthy lie! hits Gollum to the ground and starts to wail on him Frodo: Frodo: Sam! Stop it. Sam, no! Falls against the rock wall Sam: Sam: Oh my! Im sorry. I didnt mean it to go so far I was just so, so angry. Here, lets just rest a bit. Frodo: Frodo: Im all right Sam: Sam: No. No youre not all right. Its that Gollum. Its this place. Its that thing around your neck. I could help a bit. I could carry it for a while… Share the load Frodo: Frodo: Get away! pushes Sam and stands up Sam: Sam: I dont wanna keep it. I just wanna help Gollum: Gollum: See? See? He wants it for himself Sam: Sam: stands up Shutup you! Go away. Get out of here Frodo: Frodo: No Sam, its you. Im sorry Sam. Sam: Sam: But hes a liar. Hes poisoned you against me Frodo: Frodo: You cant help me anymore

Sam: Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo? Itll be spring soon. And the orchards will be in blossom. And the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And theyll be sowing the summer barley in the lower fields… and eating the first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries? Frodo: No, Sam. I cant recall the taste of food… Nor the sound of wood or touch of grass… Im naked in the dark, with nothing. No veil between me and the ring of fire. I can see him with my waking eyes! Sam: Then let us be rid of it! Once and for all! Come on Mr. Frodo. I cant carry it for you! But I can carry you! Come on! [He picks Frodo up and starts carrying him up the slopes of Mount Doom]

Aragorn: For Frodo. [He charges out towards the remaining army of Morder alone. Merry and Pippin raise their swords and yell then charge. The rest of the soldiers do the same and soon overtake Merry and Pippin]

Aragorn: Long have you hunted me, long have I eluded you. No more. Behold! The Sword of Elendil!

Gandalf: Your treachary has already cost many lives. Thousands more are now at risk, but you could save them Saruman. You were deep in the enemys council. Saruman: So you have come here for information. I have some for you. [he reveals his palantir] Saruman: Something festers in the heart of Middle-Earth. Something that you have failed to see. But the Great Eye has seen it. Even now he presses his advantage. His attack will come soon. Youre all going to die. But you know this dont you, Gandalf? [sneering] Saruman: You cannot think that this Ranger will ever sit upon the throne of Gondor. This exile, crept from the shadows, will never be crowned king. Gandalf does not hesistate to sacrifice those closest to him, those he professes to love. Tell me… what words of confort did you give the halfling before you sent him to his doom? The path that you have set him on can only lead to death. Gimli: Ive heard enough.” [to Legolas] Gimli: “Shoot him. Stick an arrow in his gob. [Legolas goes to do so] Gandalf: No. Come down Saruman, and your life will be spared. Saruman: Save your pity and your mercy; I have no use for it! [he fires at Gandalf, who emerges unscathed from the flames] Gandalf: Saruman, your staff is broken.

Saruman: What is the house of Rohan but a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek and rats roll on the floor with the dogs? The victory at Helms Deep does not belong to you, Théoden, horsemaster! You are a lesser son of greater sires.

Merry: Excuse me? I have a sword. Please accept it. [kneels] Merry: I offer you my service, Theoden King. Theoden: [raises him to his feet] And gladly, I accept it. You shall be Meriadoc, Esquire of Rohan.

Bruce Wayne: Targeting me wont get their money back. I knew the mob wouldnt go down without a fight, but this is different. They crossed the line. Alfred Pennyworth: You crossed the line first, sir. You squeezed them, you hammered them to the point of desperation. And in their desperation they turned to a man they didnt fully understand. Bruce Wayne: Criminals arent complicated, Alfred. Just have to figure out what hes after. Alfred Pennyworth: With respect, sir, perhaps this is a man that *you* dont fully understand.

Detective Wuertz: Dent. Jesus. I thought you was dead. Two-Face: Half.

Harvey Dent: The famous Bruce Wayne. Rachels told me everything about you. Bruce Wayne: I certainly hope not.

Gotham National Bank Manager: Oh, criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor. Respect. Look at you! What do you believe in, huh? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN? [Bozo leans down and sticks a grenade in the managers mouth] Bozo: I believe whatever doesnt kill you, simply makes you… [takes off his mask] The Joker: …stranger.

Mayor: [regarding The Joker] What do we got? Lt. James Gordon: Nothing. No matches on prints, DNA, dental. Clothing is custom, no labels. Nothing in his pockets but knives and lint. No name, no other alias.

[stumbles out of wrecked truck] The Joker: [to Batman] Come on, I want you to do it, I want you to do it. Come on, hit me. *Hit me!*

Happy: So why do they call him “The Joker”? Dopey: I heard he wears make-up. Happy: Make-up? Dopey: Yeah, to scare people. You know, war paint.

Harvey Dent: Alfred, right? Alfred Pennyworth: Thats right, sir. Harvey Dent: Yeah, Rachel talks about you all the time. Youve known her, her whole life! Alfred Pennyworth: Oh, not yet, sir. Harvey Dent: Heh heh heh. Any psychotic ex-boyfriends I should be aware of? Alfred Pennyworth: [smiles] Oh, you have no idea.

The Joker: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We are tonights entertainment! I only have one question. Where is Harvey Dent? [nobody responds; The Joker walks around the room pointing with his shotgun at everyone] The Joker: You know where Harvey is? You know who he is? [grabs a mans face] The Joker: You know where I can find Harvey? I need to talk to him about something. Just something, a little. [turns the mans face away] The Joker: No…

Batman: [to The Joker] You wanted me, here I am.

Bruce Wayne: You know that day that you once told me about, when Gotham would no longer need Batman? Its coming. Rachel Dawes: Bruce. You cant ask me to wait for that. Bruce Wayne: Its happening now. Harvey is that hero. He locked up half of the citys criminals, and he did it without wearing a mask. Gotham needs a hero with a face.

[Lau announces that hes removed all the mobs cash from their banks before the police raid, and stashed them in a secure location] Lau: Now, obviously, no one except me can know the location for now. But rest assured, your money is safe. [From outside comes the sound of loud, fake laughter. The mob bosses turn and see the Joker enter] The Joker: And I thought my jokes were bad.

Alfred Pennyworth: A long time ago, I was in Burma, my friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never found anyone who traded with him. One day I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away. Bruce Wayne: Then why steal them? Alfred Pennyworth: Because he thought it was good sport. Because some men arent looking for anything logical, like money. They cant be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

The Joker: You know, Ill settle for his loved ones. Gentleman at Party: Were not intimidated by thugs! The Joker: [as he smacks his lips] You know, you remind me of my father. [the Joker pulls out his switchblade and brings it to the Gentlemans mouth] The Joker: I hated my father! Rachel Dawes: [off-screen] Okay, stop! [turns to face Rachel, tosses the Gentleman to his thugs and approaches Rachel, adjusting his hair with the knife] The Joker: Well, hello, beautiful. You must be Harveys squeeze, hm? And you *are* beautiful. [the Joker hovers around the incredibly nervous Rachel] The Joker: Well, you look nervous. Is it the scars? You want to know how I got em? [He grabs Rachels head and positions the knife by her mouth] The Joker: Come here. Hey! Look at me. So I had a wife, beautiful, like you, who tells me I worry too much. Who tells me I ought to smile more. Who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks… Look at me! One day, they carve her face. And we have no money for surgeries. She cant take it. I just want to see her smile again, hm? I just want her to know that I dont care about the scars. So… I stick a razor in my mouth and do this… [the Joker mimics slicing his mouth open with his tongue] The Joker: …to myself. And you know what? She cant stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now Im always smiling! [Rachel knees the Joker in the groin; he merely laughs it off] The Joker: A little fight in you. I like that. Batman: [off-screen] Then youre going to love me. [attacks him]

The Joker: Its a funny world we live in. Speaking of which, do you know how I got these scars? Batman: No! But I know how you got these!

[bumps along while driving hijacked truck] The Joker: I like this job – I like it!

[first lines] Grumpy: [before a bank heist] Three of a kind, lets do this. Chuckles: Thats it, three guys? Grumpy: Two guys on the roof. Every guy gets a share. Five shares is plenty. Chuckles: Six shares, dont forget the guy who planned the job. Grumpy: He thinks he can sit it out and still take a slice? I know why they call him “The Joker.”

The Joker: And… here… we… go!

The Joker: Oh, you. You just couldnt let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You are truly incorruptible, arent you? Huh? You wont kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I wont kill you because youre just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever. Batman: Youll be in a padded cell forever. The Joker: Maybe we can share one. You know, theyll be doubling up, the rate this citys inhabitants are losing their minds. Batman: This city just showed you that its full of people ready to believe in good. The Joker: Until their spirit breaks completely. Until they get a good look at the real Harvey Dent and all the heroic things hes done. You didnt think Id risk losing the battle for Gothams soul in a fistfight with you? No. You need an ace in the hole. Mines Harvey. Batman: What did you do? The Joker: I took Gothams white knight and I brought him down to our level. It wasnt hard. You see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push! [the Joker laughs hysterically as Batman races off and the cops come to take the Joker into custody]

Lt. James Gordon: [to Harvey Dent] Everyone knows youre Gothams White Knight.

The Joker: [to Det. Stephens] Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You cant savor all the… little emotions. In… you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards?

[last lines] James Gordon Jr.: Whys he running, Dad? Lt. James Gordon: Because we have to chase him. James Gordon Jr.: He didnt do anything wrong. Lt. James Gordon: Because hes the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So well hunt him because he can take it. Because hes not our hero. Hes a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight.

[***SPOILER*** the Joker pins Batman, in view of the two rigged ferries] The Joker: We really should stop fighting, well miss the fireworks! Batman: There arent going to be any fireworks! The Joker: And here… we… go! [Silence. Nothing happens. Confused, Joker turns to look at the clock, which shows that its past midnight and neither ferry has blown the other up] Batman: What were you hoping to prove? That, deep down, everyones as ugly as you? Youre *alone*! The Joker: [sighs] Cant rely on anyone these days…

The Chechen: What are you going to do with all your money? The Joker: See, Im a man of simple tastes. I like dynamite, and gunpowder… [the Chechen watches, appalled, as Jokers thugs pour gasoline on his mountain of cash] The Joker: And gasoline! Do you know what all of these things have in common? Theyre cheap!

[repeated line] The Joker: Wanna know how I got these scars?

Batman: Beautiful, isnt it? Lucius Fox: Beautiful. Unethical. DANGEROUS. Youve turned every cellphone in Gotham into a microphone. Batman: And a high-frequency generator-receiver. Lucius Fox: You took my sonar concept and applied it to every phone in the city. With half the city feeding you sonar, you can image all of Gotham. This is wrong. Batman: Ive gotta find this man, Lucius. Lucius Fox: At what cost? Batman: The database is null-key encrypted. It can only be accessed by one person. Lucius Fox: This is too much power for one person. Batman: Thats why I gave it to you. Only you can use it. Lucius Fox: Spying on 30 million people isnt part of my job description.

The Joker: I want… my phone call. I want it. I want it! I want my phone call! Detective Stephens: Thats nice. The Joker: How many of your friends have I killed? Detective Stephens: Im a twenty-year man. I can tell the difference between punks who need a little lesson in manners, and the freaks like you who just enjoy it. [pause] Detective Stephens: And youve killed six of my friends. [Joker, pretending amazement, mouths "six?"]

The Joker: [holds camera facing himself] See, this is how crazy Batmans made Gotham! If you want order in Gotham, Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in. Oh, and every day he doesnt, people will die, starting tonight. Im a man of my word. [laughs]

The Joker: Harvey, Harvey, Harvey Dent. [climbs up to the cab of a semi truck, the driver of which is dead or unconscious] The Joker: Oh, excuse me, I want to drive! [shoves him out and takes the wheel]

The Chechen: What do you propose? The Joker: Its simple. We, uh, kill the Batman. [mobsters laugh] Salvatore Maroni: If its so simple, why havent you done it already? The Joker: If youre good at something, never do it for free.

Alfred Pennyworth: I suppose theyll lock me up as well. As your accomplice… Bruce Wayne: Accomplice? Im going to tell them the whole thing was your idea.

Bruce Wayne: [after The Joker threatens to blow up a hospital via TV] Do you think I should go to the hospital? Lt. James Gordon: You dont watch a whole lot of news, do you, Mr. Wayne?

The Joker: [over the PA] Tonight youre all gonna be part of a social experiment. Through the magic of diesel fuel and ammonium nitrate, Im ready right now to blow you all sky high. Anyone attempts to get off their boat, you all die. Each of you has a remote… to blow up the other boat. At midnight, I blow you all up. If, however, one of you presses the button, Ill let that boat live. So, whos it going to be: Harvey Dents most wanted scumbag collection, or the sweet and innocent civilians? You choose… oh, and you might want to decide quickly, because the people on the other boat might not be so noble.

James Gordon Jr.: Did Batman save you, Daddy? Lt. James Gordon: Actually, this time I saved him.

Lt. James Gordon: Theyll hunt you. Batman: Youll hunt me. Youll condemn me. Set the dogs on me. Because thats what needs to happen.

[the Batpod charges] The Joker: Ooohhh. You want to play. Come on!

Salvatore Maroni: [nervously] Look, take it up with the Joker. He killed your woman. He made you [Gestures at Dents mutilated face] Salvatore Maroni: like this. Two-Face: The Jokers just a mad dog. I want whoever let him off the leash.

[after Batman saves Rachel from falling out of a window] Batman: You all right? Rachel Dawes: Lets not do that again.

Salvatore Maroni: Look, if I tell you, will you let me go? Two-Face: Cant hurt your chances. Salvatore Maroni: It was Ramirez. [Two-Face pulls the coin out and cocks his gun] Salvatore Maroni: [panicking] But you said… Two-Face: I said it couldnt hurt your chances. [flips coin; good side] Two-Face: Youre a lucky man. [flips again; bad side] Two-Face: Hes not. Salvatore Maroni: Who? Two-Face: [buckles seat belt] Your driver. [He shoots the driver in the back; the car goes flying off the road]

Bruce Wayne: What about getting back into the plane? Lucius Fox: Id recommend a good travel agent. Bruce Wayne: Without it landing. Lucius Fox: [smiles] Now thats more like it, Mr. Wayne.

Alfred Pennyworth: Know your limits, Master Wayne. Bruce Wayne: Batman has no limits. Alfred Pennyworth: Well, you do, sir. Bruce Wayne: Well, cant afford to know em.

The Joker: You have nothing, nothing to threaten me with. Nothing to do with all your strength.

Batman: You dont want to hurt the boy, Harvey. Two-Face: Its not about what I want, its about whats fair!

Bruce Wayne: [after running into Harvey and Rachel at a restaurant] So, lets put a couple tables together. Harvey Dent: Im not sure theyll let us. Bruce Wayne: Oh, they should. I own the place.

Natascha: How could you want to raise children in a city like this? Bruce Wayne: Well, I grew up in Gotham, and I turned out all right.

Harvey Dent: You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

Salvatore Maroni: [Batman holds him out over a ledge] From one professional to another, if youre trying to scare somebody, pick a better spot. From this height, the fall wouldnt kill me. Batman: Im counting on it. [he drops Maroni off the ledge, breaking his legs]

Harvey Dent: The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming.

[Wayne Enterprises accountant Coleman Reese believes that hes discovered Batmans secret identity, and is trying to blackmail Fox] Lucius Fox: Let me get this straight: You think that your client, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands. And your plan is to blackmail this person? Good luck.

[Batman has just fought off Scarecrow and a group of Batman wannabes] Batman: Dont let me find you out here again. Brian: Were trying to help you! Batman: I dont need help. Dr. Jonathan Crane: Not in my diagnosis! Brian: What gives you the right? Whats the difference between you and me? [Batman lowers himself into the Batmobile] Batman: Im not wearing hockey pads!

[while cross-examining one of Maronis thugs on the witness stand, the thug pulls a gun and fires it at Harvey Dent; it mis-fires, and Harvey decks the thug with a right cross, and takes the gun away] Harvey Dent: Carbon fiber, .28 Caliber, made in China. [puts it on the table in front of Maroni] Harvey Dent: If you want to kill a public servant, Mr. Maroni, I recommend you buy American. Judge Freel: [to policemen holding the thug] Get him out of here! Harvey Dent: But, Your Honor, Im not done. [cheers from the gallery]

Maronis Mistress: Cant we go someplace quieter? We cant hear each other talk. Salvatore Maroni: What makes you think I want to hear you talk?

Gambol: Youre crazy. The Joker: Im not. No, Im not.

Batman: Then why do you want to kill me? The Joker: [laughs] I dont want to kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no, NO! No. You… you… complete me. Batman: Youre garbage who kills for money. The Joker: Dont talk like one of them. Youre not! Even if youd like to be. To them, youre just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they dont, theyll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, its a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. Theyre only as good as the world allows them to be. Ill show you. When the chips are down, these… these civilized people, theyll eat each other. See, Im not a monster. Im just ahead of the curve.

Bruce Wayne: People are dying, Alfred. What would you have me do? Alfred Pennyworth: Endure, Master Wayne. Take it. Theyll hate you for it, but thats the point of Batman, he can be the outcast. He can make the choice that no one else can make, the right choice. Bruce Wayne: Well today I found out what Batman cant do. He cant endure this. Today you get to say “I told you so.” Alfred Pennyworth: Today, I dont want to. [pauses for several moments] Alfred Pennyworth: But I did bloody tell you.

The Joker: If we dont deal with this now, soon little, uh, Gambol here wont be able to get a nickel for his grandma. Gambol: [explodes] Enough from the clown! [He rises to his feet; Joker does too, opening his coat to reveal a cluster of grenades, attached to a string around his thumb] The Joker: Ah-ta-ta-ta! Lets not *blow* this out of proportion.

Gambol: You think you can steal from us and just walk away? The Joker: Yeah.

Lt. James Gordon: That was a very brave thing you did. Bruce Wayne: Trying to catch the light? Lt. James Gordon: So you werent protecting the van? Bruce Wayne: [pretending to be oblivious] Why? Whos in it?

Reese: Theyre trying to kill me! Lt. James Gordon: Well, maybe Batman will save you.

The Chechen: [after bringing out a man under the influence of fear toxin] Look at what your drugs did to my customers. Scarecrow: Buyer beware. I told you my compound would take you places. I never said theyd be places you wanted to go. The Chechen: My business… repeat customers… Scarecrow: If you dont like what I have to offer, you can buy from someone else. Assuming Batman left anyone to buy from.

Two-Face: You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time. But you were wrong. The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance. [holds up his coin] Two-Face: Unbiased. Unprejudiced. Fair.

Lucius Fox: It emits a high-frequency pulse for mapping an environment and records a response time. Bruce Wayne: Sonar. Just like a… Lucius Fox: Like a submarine, Mr. Wayne. Like a submarine.

Batman: [about the Joker] Where is he? Salvatore Maroni: Nobody knows, he came to us! Batman: He must have friends! Salvatore Maroni: [incredulous] Friends? Have you met this guy?

The Joker: [Batman slams The Jokers head on a table] Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy.

The Joker: Those mob fools want you gone so they can get back to the way things were. But I know the truth: theres no going back. Youve changed things… forever.

Batman: Where is Dent? The Joker: You have all these rules and you think theyll save you. Lt. James Gordon: [Batman slams the Joker against a wall] Hes in control. Batman: I have one rule. The Joker: Then thats the rule youll have to break to know the truth. Batman: Which is? The Joker: The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules. And tonight youre gonna break your one rule. Batman: Im considering it. The Joker: No, theres only minutes left, so youre gonna have to play my little game if you want to save one of them.

Commissioner Gillian B. Loeb: [regarding The Jokers threat on his life] Youre unlikely to discover this for yourself, so take my word, the police commissioner gets a lot of threats. I found the appropriate response to these situations a long time ago. [pulls out a bottle of whiskey and glass]

Lt. James Gordon: [to The Joker] We got you, you son of a bitch!

The Joker: I had a vision, of a world without Batman. The mob ground out a little profit and the police tried to shut them down, one block at a time. And it was so… boring. Ive had a change of heart. I dont want Mr. Reese spoiling everything, but why should I have all the fun? Lets give someone else a chance. If Coleman Reese isnt dead in sixty minutes then I blow up a hospital.

The Joker: Are you the real Batman? Brian: No. The Joker: No? Then why do you dress like him? Brian: Hes a symbol… that we dont have to be afraid of scum like you. The Joker: Yeah, you do, Brian. You *really* do!

The Joker: We made it!

The Joker: Tell your men they work for me now. This is my city. The Chechen: They wont work for a freak… The Joker: [mocking his accent] A freak… [pulls out his switchblade and tosses it to some goons, who grab the Chechen] The Joker: Why dont we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches? Hmm? And then well see how loyal a hungry dog really is. Its not about money… its about sending a message. Everything burns!

Lt. James Gordon: Harvey Dent never made it home. The Joker: Of course not. Lt. James Gordon: What have you done with him? The Joker: Me? I was right here. [holds up his arms in handcuffs] The Joker: Who did you leave him with? Your people? Assuming, of course, they are still *your* people, and not Maronis. Does it depress you, commissioner? To know just how alone you really are? Does it make you feel responsible for Harvey Dents current predicament? Lt. James Gordon: Where is he? The Joker: Whats the time? Lt. James Gordon: What difference does that make? The Joker: Well, depending on the time, he may in one spot, or several. Lt. James Gordon: If were gonna play games… [takes off Jokers handcuffs] Lt. James Gordon: Im gonna need a cup of coffee. The Joker: Ah, the good cop, bad cop routine? Lt. James Gordon: Not exactly.

[During a bank heist, the Joker has tricked all his men into killing each other, one after the other. One of the last ones, getting wise, points his gun at another thug, who still has his mask on] Grumpy: Im betting The Joker told you to kill me soon as we loaded the cash. Bozo: No. No, no, no. I kill the bus driver. Grumpy: [confused] Bus driver? What bus dri-? [a school bus drives through the wall and kills Grumpy]

Lt. James Gordon: Dent is in there with them! We have to save Dent! *I* have to save Dent!

The Joker: [to the mob after performing his "magic trick"] Oh, and by the way, the suit, it wasnt cheap. You oughta know, you bought it.

Lt. James Gordon: [speaking to Harvey Dent] If I didnt work with cops you investigated while you were making your name at I.A. Id be working alone. I dont get political points for being an idealist, I have to do the best I can with what I have.

Bruce Wayne: I need a new suit. Lucius Fox: Yeah, three buttons is a little 90s, Mr. Wayne. Bruce Wayne: Im not talking fashion, Mr. Fox, so much as function. [hands him a diagram] Lucius Fox: You want to be able to turn your head. Bruce Wayne: Sure would make backing out of the driveway easier.

The Chechen: Whos stupid enough to steal from us? Salvatore Maroni: Some two-bit whack-job. Wears a cheap purple suit and make-up. Hes not the problem. Hes a nobody.

Bruce Wayne: How will it hold up against dogs? Lucius Fox: We talking Rottweilers or Chihuahuas? Should do fine against cats.

Salvatore Maroni: I thought the D.A. just played golf with the mayor, things like that? Harvey Dent: Tee offs one-thirty, more than enough time to put you away for life, Sally.

Lt. James Gordon: Its a shame Sals going to walk. Harvey Dent: Yeah, well, the good thing about the mob is they keep giving you second chances.

Bruce Wayne: You look tired, Alfred. Youll be all right without me? Alfred Pennyworth: [looking at all the sunbathing women] You can tell me the Russian for, “apply your own bloody suntan lotion.”

Gambol: [to The Joker] Give me one reason why I shouldnt have my boy here pull your head off. The Joker: How about a magic trick? [pulls out a pencil and sticks it upright into the table] The Joker: Im gonna make this pencil disappear. [Gambols thug walks over to kill The Joker, who slams his face into the pencil and kills him] The Joker: Ta-daa! Its… its gone.

[***SPOILER*** The Joker has rigged two ferries to explode, one filled with prison inmates, one with ordinary people, giving each ferry one detonator and telling them they have to blow up the other, or hell blow up both. A prisoner approaches the warden, whos holding the detonator] Tattooed Prisoner: You dont want to die, but you dont know how to take a life. Give it to me; these men would kill you, and take it anyway. Give it to me. You can tell em I took it by force. Give it to me, and Ill do what you shoulda did ten minutes ago. [Scared, the warden hands over the detonator. The prisoner looks at it, then throws it out the window]

Det. Ramirez: [regarding CCTV photos of The Jokers bank heist] He cant resist showing us his face. Lt. James Gordon: Whats he hiding under that make-up?

Detective Murphy: Look at these ugly bastards. Fat Thug: I dont feel good. Detective Murphy: Youre a cop killer. Youre lucky to be feeling anything below the neck.

Salvatore Maroni: [to Batman who is interrogating him about The Joker] No ones gonna tell you anything. Theyre wise to your act. You got rules. The Joker, hes got no rules. No ones gonna cross him for you. You want this guy, you got one way. And you already know what that is. Just take off that mask and let him come find you. Or do you want to let a couple more people get killed while you make your mind?

Batman: What happened to Rachel wasnt chance. We decided to act! We three! Two-Face: Then why was it me who was the only one who lost everything? Batman: It wasnt. Two-Face: The Joker chose ME! Batman: Because you were the best of us! He wanted to prove that even someone as good as you could fall. Two-Face: [bitter] And he was right.

[Gordon and the police arrive to arrest Maroni] Salvatore Maroni: You sure you wanna embarrass me in front of my friends, Lieutenant? Lt. James Gordon: Oh, dont worry. Theyre coming too.

The Joker: [speaking to Batman] I wanted to see what youd do. And you didnt disappoint… You let five people die. Then, you let Dent take your place. Even to a guy like me, thats cold…

Harvey Dent: You can *not* leave me alone with these people. Rachel Dawes: The whole mobs after you, and youre worried about *these* guys? Harvey Dent: Yea, well, compared to *these* guys, the mob doesnt scare me.

Bruce Wayne: The bandit, in the forest in Burma, did you catch him? Alfred Pennyworth: Yes. Bruce Wayne: How? Alfred Pennyworth: We burned the forest down.

Mike Engel: [kidnapped by the Joker, Engel is reading a prepared statement] “Im Mike Engel for Gotham Tonight. What does it take to make you people join in? You failed to kill the lawyer. Ive got to get you off the bench…” The Joker: Bench… Mike Engel: “And into the game.” The Joker: …game. Mike Engel: “Come nightfall, this city is mine…” The Joker: Mine… Mike Engel: “… and anyone left here plays by my rules.” The Joker: …rules. Mike Engel: “If you dont want to be in the game… get out now. The Joker: …get out now Mike Engel: But the bridge and tunnel crowd are sure in for a surprise. Ha ha ha ha.” [Joker laughs]

Rachel Dawes: [letter to Bruce] Dear Bruce; I need to explain. I need to be honest and clear. Im going to marry Harvey Dent. I love him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. When I told you that if Gotham no longer needed Batman we could be together, I meant it. But Im not sure the day will come when *you* will no longer need Batman. I hope it does and if it does I will be there, but only as your *friend.* Im sorry to let you down. If you lose your faith in me, please keep your faith in people. Love, now and always, – Rachel.

Batman: You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. I can do those things because Im not a hero, like Dent. I killed those people. Thats what I can be Lt. James Gordon: No, you cant! Youre not! Batman: Im whatever Gotham needs me to be.

Harvey Dent: Remember that name you all had for me when I was at Internal Affairs? What was it, Gordon? Lt. James Gordon: Harvey, I… Harvey Dent: Say it. Say it! Lt. James Gordon: Two-Face. Harvey Two-Face. [Harvey turns his head, revealing the scarred side of his face] Harvey Dent: Why should I hide who I am?

The Joker: You and your kind, all you care about is money. This city deserves a better class of criminal. And Im gonna give it to them!

[during the bank heist] Happy: Here comes the silent alarm… [disables it] Happy: And there it goes. Thats funny, it didnt dial out to 9-1-1. It was trying to reach a private number. Dopey: Is it a problem? Happy: Nah, Im done here. [Dopey shoots him]

[during the bank heist, Bozo subdues the terrified customers and employees by putting grenades in their hands and pulling the pins] Grumpy: Obviously, we dont want you doing anything with your hands except hanging on for dear life!

[During the bank heist, the bank manager produces a shotgun and starts blasting away. Bozo and Grumpy dive for cover] Gotham National Bank Manager: Do you have any idea who youre stealing from? You and your friends are dead! Grumpy: Hes out, right? [Bozo thinks a moment, then nods. Grumpy stands and takes aim, only to take the managers last round in his shoulder, allowing Bozo to shoot the manager in the leg] Grumpy: Where did you learn to count?

[examining one of the gauntlets for his new and improved Batsuit, Bruce presses a button, and the spikes are launched across the room, narrowly missing Fox before they bury themselves in the wall] Lucius Fox: Maybe you want to read the instruction manual first. Bruce Wayne: [sheepish] Sorry.

[the Bat-Signal appears in the sky] The Chechen: This is why we bring dogs!

[watching news of Laus capture on the television] The Chechen: With word out, we hire the clown. [the other mobsters look doubtful] The Chechen: He was right. We have to fix real problem: Batman.

Batman: [about Lau] If I get him to you, can you get him to talk? Harvey Dent: Ill get him to sing. Lt. James Gordon: Were going after the mobs life savings. Things will get ugly. Harvey Dent: I knew the risks when I took this job, Lieutenant. [turns back to Batman] Harvey Dent: How will you get him back? Any-? [Batman has disappeared] Lt. James Gordon: He does that.

Batman: [to Joker] Let her go! The Joker: [holding Rachel out of a window] Very poor choice of words…

The Joker: [to Gambols thugs, being held helpless by his own] Now, our operation is small, but theres a lot of potential for “aggressive” expansion. So, which one of you fine gentlemen would like to join our team? Oh, theres only one spot open right now, so were gonna have… [breaks pool cue over knee] The Joker: Tryouts. [throws broken pool cue at the thugs] The Joker: Make it fast.

[Batman slams The Jokers head on a table] The Joker: Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy. [Batman slams a fist down on Jokers hand] The Joker: [pretends not to feel it] See?

Harvey Dent: Well, I guess no answer is a no. Rachel Dawes: Harvey… Harvey Dent: Its someone else, isnt it? Rachel Dawes: Harvey… Harvey Dent: Just tell me its not Wayne, the guys a complete… [Bruce comes up behind him and grabs him in a chokehold] Rachel Dawes: What are you doing? Bruce Wayne: [as Harvey falls unconscious] Theyre coming for him!

Two-Face: It was your men, your plan! The Joker: Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? Im a dog chasing cars. I wouldnt know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just… do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, Gordons got plans. You know, theyre schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. Im not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So, when I say… Ah, come here. [takes Dents hand into his own] The Joker: When I say that you and your girlfriend was nothing personal, you know that Im telling the truth. Its the schemers that put you where you are. You were a schemer, you had plans, and look where that got you. [Dent tries to grab the Joker] The Joker: I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and I turned it on itself. Look what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Hmmm? You know… You know what Ive noticed? Nobody panics when things go “according to plan.” Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because its all “part of the plan.” But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds! [Joker hands Two-Face a gun and points it at himself] The Joker: Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. Im an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? Its fair! [still holding the gun, Two-Face pauses and takes out his coin] Two-Face: [showing the unscarred side] You live. The Joker: Mm-hmm. Two-Face: [flips, showing the scarred side] You die. The Joker: Mmm, now were talking.

The Joker: [to the Chechen] Tell your men they work for me now. This is my city. The Chechen: They wont work… for a FREAK! The Joker: [pulls out a knife] Why dont we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches, hmm? And then well see how loyal a hungry dog REALLY is! The Joker: [half to himself] Its not about money… its about sending a message. The Joker: [dialing on a cell phone while a mountain of money burns behind him] Everything burns!

The Joker: Lets put a smile on that face!

[as the Batman wanna-bes attack the drug deal] Scarecrow: Thats not him. [Mayhem ensues, with lots of gunfire] The Chechen: Loose the dogs! [after more fighting, the Batmobile crashes into the garage] Scarecrow: Thats more like it!

[after crashing the bus into the bank and running over Grumpy] Bus Driver: Schools out, time to go! [laughs] Bus Driver: Cats not getting up, is he? [He and Bozo load the duffels into the bus] Bus Driver: Thats a lot of money. [pause] Bus Driver: What happened to the rest of the guys? [Bozo casually shoots the bus driver dead, then picks up the last duffel and throws it into the bus]

Lt. James Gordon: Because sometimes the truth isnt good enough. [Alfred burns the envelope from Rachel] Lt. James Gordon: Sometimes, people deserve more.

Happy: [after cracking open the banks safe] They wired this thing up with, like, 5,000 volts. What kind of bank does that? Grumpy: A mob bank. I guess the Joker is as crazy as they say. Wheres the alarm guy? Happy: Boss told me, when the guy was done, I should take him out. One less share, right? Grumpy: Funny, he told me something similar. Happy: What…? [turns] Happy: No, no, no-! [Grumpy shoots him]

Alfred Pennyworth: [looks at the large gash on Bruces arm] Did you get mauled by a tiger? Bruce Wayne: [quietly] It was a dog. Alfred Pennyworth: Huh? Bruce Wayne: It was a big dog! [pause] Bruce Wayne: More copycats last night, Alfred, with guns. Alfred Pennyworth: Why dont you hire them and take the weekend off?

The Joker: All right. So, listen. Why dont you give me a call when you want to start taking things a little more seriously? Heres my card. [He holds up a Joker card and places it on the table]

The Joker: Lets wind the clocks back a year. These cops and lawyers wouldnt dare cross any of you. I mean, what happened? Did, did your balls drop off? Hm? You see, a guy like me… Gambol: Freak! [mobsters laugh] The Joker: [ignoring] A guy like me… Look, listen. I know why you choose to have your little… [clears throat] The Joker: …group therapy sessions in broad daylight. I know why youre afraid to go out at night… The Batman. See, Batman has shown Gotham your true colors, unfortunately. Dent? Hes just the beginning. [indicates Lau on the video phone] The Joker: And as for the televisions so-called “plan?” Batman has no “jurisdiction.” Hell find him and make him squeal! I know the squealers when I see them, and… [He indicates Lau again, who hurriedly turns off the picture]

Alfred Pennyworth: Will you be wanting the Batpod, sir? Bruce Wayne: In the middle of the day, Alfred? Not very subtle. Alfred Pennyworth: The Lamborghini, then. [with deadpan sarcasm] Alfred Pennyworth: Much more subtle.

The Joker: If youre good at something never do it for free.

Lucius Fox: No, I really came to tell you that our business deal has to be put on hold. You see, we cant afford to be seen to do business with whatever it is youre accused of being. Im sure a businessman of your stature will understand. Lau: I think, Mr. Fox, a simple phone call might have sufficed. Lucius Fox: Mr. Wayne didnt want you to think that he was deliberately wasting your time. Lau: Just accidentally wasting it. Lucius Fox: Thats very good, Mr. Lau. Accidentally. Very good.

Cop Heckler: No more dead cops!

Shotgun SWAT: Thats not good! [Police helicopter crashes into the road] Shotgun SWAT: Okay, thats not good!

Two-Face: You thought we could be decent men, in an indecent time! You were wrong. The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance. Unbiased, unprejudiced… fair. His sons got the same chance she had, 50/50. Batman: What happened to Rachel wasnt chance, we decided to act. We three. Two-Face: Then why was it me who lost everything? Batman: It wasnt…

Two-Face: Did she believe you? Det. Ramirez: Yes. Two-Face: Of course she did. Because she trusts you. Just like Rachel trusted you. Det. Ramirez: I didnt know… Two-Face: What they were going to do to me? Youre the second cop to say that to me tonight. What, *exactly*, did you think they were going to do to me? Det. Ramirez: They got me early. My mothers hospital bills… Two-Face: Dont! [He flips his coin] Det. Ramirez: [crying] Im sorry… [the coin lands good side up] Two-Face: Live to fight another day, Detective. [he punches her unconscious]

Natascha: But this is a democracy Harvey… Harvey Dent: When their enemies were at the gates, the Romans would suspend democracy and appoint one man to protect the city. It wasnt considered an honor, it was considered a public service. Rachel Dawes: Harvey, the last man who they appointed the Republic was named Caesar and he never gave up his power. Harvey Dent: Okay, fine. you either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

The Joker: [holding a knife inside Gambols mouth] Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was… a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesnt like that. Not-one-bit. So – me watching – he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it! Turns to me, and he says, “why so serious, son?” Comes at me with the knife… “Why so serious?” He sticks the blade in my mouth… “Lets put a smile on that face!” And… [looks sidelong at Gambols thug, watching the whole thing in horror] The Joker: Why so serious?

[the Batpod emerges from an alleyway] The Joker: Now theres a Batman!

Batman: Sometimes the truth isnt good enough, sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded…

[Gordon meets his wife after he faked his death] Lt. James Gordon: Im, sorry, dear, but i couldnt risk anybody finding out for the sake of your life and… [Gordons wife slaps him and embraces him]

[the Joker has kidnapped Rachel and Dent] The Joker: You know, I really thought you were Dent, the way you went to save her… [Batman loses control and goes to work on the Joker]

[Rachel discovers Dents coin is two-faced] Rachel Dawes: [smiling sardonically] You make your own luck…

Harvey Dent: Lightly irradiated bills. Fancy stuff for a city cop. Have help? Lt. James Gordon: We liase with various agencies. Harvey Dent: Save it, Gordon. I want to meet him.

[Loeb causally has a sip while Gordon worries about him] Commissioner Gillian B. Loeb: Come on, Jim! Where would they get my DNA anyway? Lt. James Gordon: Well, they can get it from any surface: a paper, a door, or your glasses… Dont drink that! [Too late: Loeb starts choking... ]

Batman: Because sometimes the truth isnt good enough. [insert cut: Alfred burns the envelope from Rachel] Batman: Sometimes, people deserve more.

Detective Wuertz: Listen, Dent, I swear to God I didnt know what they were gonna do to you. Two-Face: Thats funny… [pulls out coin] Two-Face: Cause I dont know whats gonna happen to you either.

Two-Face: The joker chose me! Batman: Because you were the best of us. He wanted to prove that even someone as good as you could fall. Two-Face: And he was right. Batman: Youre the one pointing the gun, Harvey. So point it at the people responsible. Two-Face: Fair enough. [to Batman] Two-Face: You first. [Flips the coin] Two-Face: [Shoots Batman and points the gun at himself] Two-Face: My turn.

The Joker: [the Joker interrupts a meeting between Lau and Gothams criminals] Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh hee hee ha ah ooh hee ha ha. And I thought my jokes were bad. Gambol: Give me one reason why I shouldnt have my boy here pull your head off. The Joker: How about a magic trick? [pulls out a pencil] The Joker: Im gonna make this pencil disappear. [slams Gambols thugs head into pencil] The Joker: Ta-da! Its… its gone. Oh and about the suit. It wasnt cheap. You oughta know: you bought it. [Gambol gets up in anger] The Chechen: Sit. I want to hear proposition. The Joker: Lets wind the clocks back a year. These cops and lawyers wouldnt dare cross any of you. I mean what happened? Did… did your balls drop off? Hmm? You see a guy like me… Gambol: [interrupts] A freak. The Joker: A guy… like me… Look, listen. I know why you choose to have your little group therapy sessions here in broad daylight. I know why youre afraid to go out at night; the Batman. You see, Batman has shown Gotham your true colors unfortunately. Dent, hes just the beginning. And, and as for the televisions so-called plan? Batman has no jurisdiction. Hell find him, and make him squeal. I know the squealers when I see them and… [points at Lau] The Chechen: What do you propose? The Joker: Its simple: We, uh, kill the Batman. [everyone laughs] Salvatore Maroni: If its so simple, why havent you done it already? The Joker: If youre good at something, never do it for free. The Chechen: How much you want? The Joker: Uh… half. [everyone laughs again] Gambol: Youre crazy. The Joker: Im not. No, Im not. If we dont deal with this now, soon little uh, Gambol here wont be able to get a nickel for his grandma. Gambol: Enough from the clown! The Joker: [reveals the inside of his jacket, which has five hand grenades with the pins attached to a thread tied to the Jokers finger] Ah-ta-ta-ta-ta! Lets not “blow” this out of proportion. Gambol: You think you can steal from us and just walk away? The Joker: Yeah. Gambol: Im puttin the word out: 500 hundred grand for this clown dead. A million alive so I can teach him some manners first. The Joker: Alright, so listen. Why dont you give me a call when you want to start taking things a little more seriously? Heres my card. [leaves joker card on the table and walks away]

Lucius Fox: [On the plan to capture Lau] Now I must say compared to your usual requests, jumping out of an airplane is pretty straightforward. Bruce Wayne: And what about getting back into the plane? Lucius Fox: Id recommend a good travel agent. Bruce Wayne: Without it landing. Lucius Fox: Now thats more like it, Mr. Wayne. The CIA had a program back in the 60s for getting their people out of hotspots called Skyhook. We could look into that.

The Joker: [the Joker has Brain Douglas captured and is recording him] Tell them your name. Brian: Brian… Douglas. The Joker: Are you the real Batman? Brian: No. The Joker: No? Brian: No. The Joker: No? Then why do you dress up like him? [grabs Brians mask and dangles it in front of the camera] The Joker: whooo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Brian: Because hes a symbol that we dont have to be afraid of scum like you. The Joker: Oh you do, Brian. You really do. Yeah. Oh shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. So, you think Batmans made Gotham a better place? Hmm? Look at me. LOOK AT ME! [turns camera to himself] The Joker: You see? This is how crazy Batmans made Gotham! You want order in Gotham? Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in. Oh, and every day he doesnt, people will die. Starting tonight. Im a man of my word. [laughs]

[the night Gordon is shot, his wife opens her door and sees Stephens and Ramirez] Detective Stephens: Barbara… Barbara Gordon: [breaking down] No! Detective Stephens: Im so sorry… [She hugs him, sobbing] Barbara Gordon: Are you up there? I know youre there! You did this! You brought this craziness on us! [Batman, perched above Gordons door, hangs his head]

Two-Face: [holding a gun to Gordons sons head] Two-Face: Tell your son its going to be alright, Gordon. Lie, like I lied. Lt. James Gordon: Itll be okay, son.

[after visiting the scarred Dent in the hospital, Gordon emerges and sees Maroni there, leaning on a cane] Salvatore Maroni: [embarrassed] This has got out of hand. Its gone too far. Lt. James Gordon: You should have thought of that before you let that clown out of the box.

[while fighting with Batman, Joker knocks him down and raises a knife] The Joker: All the old familiar places…

Alfred Pennyworth: You spat in the faces of Gothams worse criminals. Did you not expect casualties? Things were always going to get worse before they got better.

Batman: Where are they? The Joker: You have absolutely nothing to threaten me with…

Rachel Dawes: Bruce… if you turn yourself in, theyre not gonna let us be together.

Harvey Dent: Very well. Take the Batman into custody. [everyone at the press conference looks confused] Harvey Dent: I am the Batman.

The Joker: You cant rely on anybody these days, you gotta do everything yourself, dont we? But thats okay, I came prepared. Its a funny world we live in speaking of which, you know how I got these scars? Bruce Wayne: No, but I know how you got these.

Gambols Bodyguard: Yo, Gambol, theres somebody here for you. They say they just killed the Joker. Gambols Bodyguard: They brought the body. [Joker lays on top of pool table, pretending to be dead] Gambol: So, he dead? Thats 500. The Joker: How bout alive? [sticks switchblade in Gambols mouth] The Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars? My father, was a drinker, and a fiend. And one night, he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesnt like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me and says, “why so serious?” He comes at me with the knife. “WHY SO SERIOUS?” Sticks the blade in my mouth. “Lets put a smile on that face.” And… [looks at thug] The Joker: Why so serious? [Gambol falls to death]

The Joker: Dont talk like one of them, youre not! Even if youd like to be. To them, youre just a freak, like me. They need you right now. But when they dont, theyll cast you out, like a leper. See, their morals, their code… its a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. Theyre only as good as the world allows them to be. Ill show you, when the chips are down, these… these civilized people will eat each other. See, Im not a monster, Im just ahead of the curve. Batman: [grabs Joker] Wheres Dent? The Joker: You have all these rules and you think theyll save you! [slams into the wall] Batman: I have one rule. The Joker: Oh, then thats the rule youll have to break in order to know the truth. Batman: [getting impatient] Which is? The Joker: The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules and tonight youre gonna break your one rule. Batman: Im considering it. The Joker: Oh, theres only minutes left, so youre gonna have to play my little game if you wanna save one of them. Batman: Them? The Joker: You know for awhile there, I thought you really were Dent. The way you threw yourself after her. [Joker laughs, Batman throws Joker on table, barricades door] The Joker: Look at you go! Does Harvey know about you and his little bunny? Batman: [slams Joker into mirror] Where are they? The Joker: Killing is making a choice. Batman: [punches Joker] Where are they? The Joker: Choose between one life or the other. Your friend, the district attorney or his blushing bride to be… [punches Joker] The Joker: [laughs] You have nothing! Nothing to threaten me with, nothing to do with all your strength. [grabs Joker] The Joker: Dont worry, Im gonna tell you where they are, both of them and thats the point. Youll have to choose. Hes at 250 52ND Street and shes at Avenue X at Cicero.

Bruce Wayne: [while on a boat surrounded by beautiful Russian ballerinas] You going to be all right Alfred? Alfred Pennyworth: [beat] You can tell them the Russian for “apply your own bloody suntan lotion.”

[Batman slams The Jokers head on the table] The Joker: Never start with the head. The victim gets all fuzzy. He cant feel the next… [Batman punches the Jokers hand. The Joker looks ahead for a moment waiting for it to hurt] The Joker: See?

[last lines] James Gordon Jr.: [Batman runs off into the darkness as James Jr. joins his father by Harvey Dents body] Batman? Whys he running Dad? Lt. James Gordon: [Staring after Batman] Because we have to chase him. James Gordon Jr.: But he didnt do anything wrong Lt. James Gordon: Because hes the hero Gotham deserves. But not the one it needs right now. And so well hunt him. Because he can take it. Because hes not our hero. Hes a silent gaurdian. A watchful protector. A dark knight

Batman: You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. I can do those things because Im not a hero, not like Dent. I killed those people. Thats what I can be. Lt. James Gordon: No you cant! Youre not! Batman: Im whatever Gotham needs me to be. [We cut to a funeral for Harvey Dent] Lt. James Gordon: Not the hero we deserved but the hero we needed [Gordon is shown on top of Gotham Central. An axe is in his hand. He is being watched by an assortment of reporters and police officers. The next lines are heard in voiceover] Lt. James Gordon: Theyll hunt you. Batman: Youll hunt me. Youll condemn me. Set the dogs on me. [Gordon takes the axe to the bat light] Batman: Because thats what needs to happen. Batman: [Alfred is shown holding the envelope from Racheal. He lights it on fire and watches it burn] Because sometimes the truth isnt good enough. [We see Lucius Fox type his name into the sonar machine. The machinery around him sparks and the sonar screen fades out. Lucius smiles and walks away] Batman: Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.

[repeated line] The Joker: Why so serious?

The Joker: You know. I dont want there to be any hard feelings between us Harvey. When you and uh… Harvey Dent: Rachel! The Joker: Rachel were being abducted. I was sitting in Gordons cage. Harvey Dent: Your men. Your plan. The Joker: Do I really look like a guy with a plan?

The Joker: [Is about to unmask the unconscious Batman but Gordon suddenly points a gun to his head] Arrrgh! Could you *please* just give me a minute?

Scarecrow: Scarecrow: Buyer beware. I told you my compound would take you places. I never said they were places you wanted to go!

Dak: Right now I feel like I could take on the whole Empire myself.

Yoda: Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless.

Princess Leia: Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder. Han Solo: Whos scruffy-looking?

Admiral Piett: Lord Vader, our ships have completed their scan of the area and found nothing. If the Millennium Falcon went into light-speed, itll be on the other side of the galaxy by now. Darth Vader: Alert all commands. Calculate every possible destination along their last known trajectory. Admiral Piett: Yes, my Lord. Well find them. Darth Vader: Dont fail me again, Admiral.

Yoda: Stopped they must be; on this all depends. Only a fully trained Jedi Knight, with the Force as his ally, will conquer Vader and his Emperor. If you end your training now – if you choose the quick and easy path as Vader did – you will become an agent of evil. Obi-Wan: Patience. Luke: And sacrifice Han and Leia? Yoda: If you honor what they fight for? Yes. Obi-Wan: If you choose to face Vader, you will do it alone. I cannot interfere. Luke: I understand. R2? Fire up the converters. Obi-Wan: Luke! Dont give in to hate. That leads to the Dark Side. Yoda: Strong is Vader. Mind what you have learned. Save you it can. Luke: I will. And Ill return, I promise.

[Luke has seen a vision of Han, Leia and Chewie being tortured in Cloud City] Luke: I saw – I saw a city in the clouds. Yoda: [nods] Friends you have there. Luke: They were in pain… Yoda: It is the future you see. Luke: The future? [pause] Luke: Will they die? Yoda: [closes his eyes for a moment] Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future. Luke: Ive got to go to them. Yoda: Decide you must, how to serve them best. If you leave now, help them you could; but you would destroy all for which they have fought, and suffered.

C-3PO: Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1. Han Solo: Never tell me the odds.

Darth Vader: Yes, Admiral? Admiral Piett: Our ships have sighted the Millennium Falcon, Lord. But it has entered an asteroid field and we can not risk… Darth Vader: [interupting] Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want that ship, not excuses.

Emperor: The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi. Darth Vader: If he could be turned, he would be a powerful ally. Emperor: Yes. Yes. He would be a great asset. Can it be done? Darth Vader: He will join us or die, my master.

Darth Vader: What is thy bidding, my master? Emperor: There is a great disturbance in the Force. Darth Vader: I have felt it. Emperor: We have a new enemy, the young Rebel who destroyed the Death Star. I have no doubt this boy is the offspring of Anakin Skywalker. Darth Vader: How is that possible? Emperor: Search your feelings, Lord Vader. You will know it to be true. He could destroy us. Darth Vader: Hes just a boy. Obi-Wan can no longer help him. Emperor: The Force is strong with him. The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi. Darth Vader: If he could be turned, he will become a powerful ally. Emperor: Yes. He would be a great asset. Can it be done? Darth Vader: He will join us or die, my master.

Yoda: You must unlearn what you have learned.

Luke: I want my lamp back. Im gonna need it to get out of this slimy mudhole. Yoda: Mudhole? Slimy? My home this is!

[a tremor knocks Leia into Solos arms] Princess Leia: Let go. Han Solo: Shh. Princess Leia: Let go, please. Han Solo: Dont get excited. Princess Leia: Captain, being held by you isnt quite enough to get me excited. Han Solo: Sorry sweetheart. I havent got time for anything else.

[Luke cant levitate his X-Wing out of the bog] Luke: I cant. Its too big. Yoda: Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.

Han Solo: Its not my fault.

Lando: Punch it. [Chewbacca attempts to engage the hyperdrive on the Millenium Falcon - it fails] Lando: They told me they fixed it! I *trusted* them to *fix* it! Its not my fault!

Han Solo: Afraid I was gonna leave without giving you a goodbye kiss? Princess Leia: Id just as soon kiss a Wookiee. Han Solo: I can arrange that. You could use a good kiss.

Han Solo: Well Princess, it looks like you managed to keep me here a while longer. Princess Leia: I had nothing to do with it. General Rieekan thinks its dangerous for anyone to leave the system until theyve activated the energy shield. Han Solo: Thats a good story. I think you just cant bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight. Princess Leia: I dont know where you get your delusions, laser brain. [Chewbacca laughs] Han Solo: Laugh it up, fuzzball.

Darth Vader: The force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet.

C-3PO: Artoo says that the chances of survival are 725 to 1. Actually Artoo has been known to make mistakes… from time to time… Oh dear…

Han Solo: [cutting open his dead Tauntaun and shoving Luke inside] This may smell bad, kid, but itll keep you warm until I get the shelter up… Ugh. And I thought they smelled bad on the *outside*.

Yoda: I am wondering, why are you here? Luke: Im looking for someone. Yoda: Looking? Found someone, you have, I would say, hmmm? Luke: Right… Yoda: Help you I can. Yes, mmmm. Luke: I dont think so. Im looking for a great warrior. Yoda: Ohhh. Great warrior. [laughs and shakes his head] Yoda: Wars not make one great.

Luke: All right, Ill give it a try. Yoda: No. Try not. Do… or do not. There is no try.

[Using the Force, Yoda effortlessly frees the X-Wing from the bog] Luke: I dont, I dont believe it. Yoda: That is why you fail.

Darth Vader: Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me.

Darth Vader: There is no escape. Dont make me destroy you. [pauses] Darth Vader: Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy. Luke: Ill never join you! Darth Vader: If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father. Luke: He told me enough! He told me *you* killed him! Darth Vader: No. *I* am your father. Luke: No. No. Thats not true. Thats impossible! Darth Vader: Search your feelings, you *know* it to be true! Luke: [anguished] No! No!

Princess Leia: Ill be back.

Han Solo: You said you wanted to be around when I made a mistake, well, this could be it, sweetheart. Princess Leia: I take it back.

Princess Leia: [to Han] Well, I guess you dont know everything about women yet. [Leia gives Luke a kiss in front of Han]

[Yoda tries to convince Luke not to leave] Yoda: You must not go! Luke: But Han and Leia will die if I dont. [Obi-Wans Force-spirit suddenly appears] Obi-Wan: You dont know that. Even Yoda cannot see their fate. Luke: But I can help them! I feel the Force! Obi-Wan: But you cannot control it. This is a dangerous time for you, when you will be tempted by the Dark Side of the Force.

Yoda: Control, control, you must learn control!

[heading into a cave on a large asteroid] Princess Leia: I hope you know what youre doing. Han Solo: Yeah, me too.

Luke: I dont know. I feel like… Yoda: Feel like what? [Luke whips around and pulls out his blaster in defense] Luke: Like were being watched. Yoda: Away put your weapon. I mean you no harm.

Yoda: Why wish you become Jedi? Luke: Well, mostly because of my father, I guess. Yoda: Ahh… father. Powerful Jedi was he. Powerful Jedi. Luke: [suspcious] Oh, come on! How can you know my father? You dont even know who I am. Oh, I dont even know what Im doing here! Were wasting our time! Yoda: [Looking away from Luke] I cannot teach him. The boy has no patience. Obi-Wan: [voice-over] He will learn patience. Yoda: Much anger in him… like his father. Obi-Wan: [voice] Was I any different when you taught me?

C-3PO: [on Hans escape plan] I really dont see how that is going to help! Surrender is a perfectly acceptable alternative in extreme circumstances! The Empire may be gracious enough to… [Han signals to Leia, who shuts 3PO down]

Darth Vader: Your destiny lies with me Skywalker. Obi-Wan knew this to be true. Luke: No…

Darth Vader: Calrissian. Take the princess and the Wookie to my ship. Lando: You said theyd be left at the city under my supervision! Darth Vader: I am altering the deal. Pray I dont alter it any further.

Darth Vader: There will be a substantial reward for the one who finds the Millennium Falcon. You are free to use any methods necessary, but I want them alive. No disintegrations. Boba Fett: As you wish.

Imperial Officer: Sir, rebel ships are coming into our sector. Captain Lennox: Good, our first catch of the day.

[Han reveals his clever plan of escape] Princess Leia: You have your moments. Not many of them, but you do have them.

Yoda: Yes, run! Yes, a Jedis strength flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wans apprentice. Luke: Vader… Is the dark side stronger? Yoda: No, no, no. Quicker, easier, more seductive. Luke: But how am I to know the good side from the bad? Yoda: You will know… when you are calm, at peace, passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, NEVER for attack. Luke: But tell my why I cant… Yoda: No, no! There is no “why”.

Princess Leia: Youre not actually going IN to an asteroid field? Han Solo: Theyd be crazy to follow us, wouldnt they?

[Amid the violence of colliding asteroids] Princess Leia: [to Han Solo] You dont have to do this to impress me.

[the asteroid quakes] C-3PO: Sir, its quite possible this asteroid is not entirely stable. Han Solo: Not entirely stable. Im glad youre here to tell us these things. Chewie! Take the Professor in back and plug him into the hyperdrive!

[the Millennium Falcon, under siege, wont start] Princess Leia: [sarcastic] Would it help if I got out and pushed? Han Solo: [also sarcastic] It might!

Han Solo: Hey, Your Worship, Im only trying to help. Princess Leia: Would you please stop calling me that? Han Solo: Sure, Leia. Princess Leia: You make it so difficult sometimes. Han Solo: I do, I really do. You could be a little nicer, though. Come on, admit it. Sometimes you think Im all right. Princess Leia: Occasionally, maybe… when you arent acting like a scoundrel. Han Solo: Scoundrel? Scoundrel? I like the sound of that. [Han starts to massage Leias hand] Princess Leia: Stop that. Han Solo: Stop what? Princess Leia: [timidly] Stop that. My hands are dirty. Han Solo: My hands are dirty, too. What are you afraid of? Princess Leia: Afraid? Han Solo: Youre trembling. Princess Leia: Im not trembling. [Han moves in closer] Han Solo: You like me because Im a scoundrel. There arent enough scoundrels in your life. Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men. Han Solo: Im a nice man. Princess Leia: No, youre not. Youre… [they kiss]

Luke: I wont fail you. Im not afraid. Yoda: You will be. You… will… be.

Lando: [greeting "old friend" Han Solo] Why, you slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler.

Lando: What are you doing here? Han Solo: Ah, repairs. I was hoping you could help me out. Lando: What have you done to my ship? Han Solo: YOUR ship? Hey, remember you lost her to me, fair and square.

Darth Vader: You may take Captain Solo to Jabba the Hutt after I have Skywalker. Boba Fett: Hes no good to me dead. Darth Vader: He will not be permanently damaged.

[as Luke leaves before completing his training] Yoda: Told you I did. Reckless is he. Now, matters are worse. Obi-Wan: That boy is our last hope. Yoda: No. There is another.

C-3PO: Excuse me sir, but might I inquire as to whats going on? Han Solo: Why not? C-3PO: Impossible man.

[Han heads out of the Asteroids toward a Star Destroyer] C-3PO: The odds of successfully surviving an attack on an Imperial Star Destroyer are approximately… Leia: Shut up!

Han Solo: No time to discuss this as a committee. Princess Leia: I am not a committee!

[Leia and Han prepares to escape in the Falcon] Princess Leia: This bucket of boltss never gonna get us past that blockade.

C-3PO: Sir, If I may venture an opinion… Han Solo: Im not really interested in your opinion 3PO.

Lando: Lord Vader, what about Leia and the Wookiee? Darth Vader: They must never again leave this city. Lando: [outraged] That was never a condition of our agreement, nor was giving Han to this bounty hunter! Darth Vader: Perhaps you think youre being treated unfairly? Lando: [after a pause; nervous tone] No. Darth Vader: Good. You know it would be unfortunate if I had to leave a garrison here. Lando: [to himself] This deal is getting worse all the time!

Darth Vader: [having cornered Luke during their lightsaber battle] You are beaten. It is useless to resist. Dont let yourself be destroyed as Obi-Wan did.

Echo Base Officer: Echo station 3-T-8, we have spotted Imperial walkers.

Boba Fett: What if he doesnt survive? Hes worth a lot to me. Darth Vader: The Empire will compensate you, if he dies. Put him in.

Han Solo: [as Chewie tries to fight off the imperials and free Han] No! Stop, Chewie, stop! Chewie! Chewie this wont help me! Hey! Save your strength. Therell be another time. The Princess. You have to take care of her. You hear me? Huh? [Leia and Han share a passionate kiss before Han is dragged towards the freezing chamber by the imperials] Princess Leia: I love you. Han Solo: I know.

[C-3PO is broken almost beyond repair] Lando: Having trouble with your droid? Han Solo: No, no problem. Why?

[after R2-D2 gets fried] C-3PO: Dont blame me. Im an interpreter. Im not supposed to know a power socket from a computer terminal.

[after choking Captain Needa to death] Darth Vader: Apology accepted, Captain Needa.

[evacuating the Rebel Hoth base] Han Solo: [to C-3PO] Hurry up, goldenrod! Or youre gonna be a permanent resident!

C-3PO: Oh. Theyve encased him in Carbonite. He should be quite well protected. If he survived the freezing process, that is. Darth Vader: Well, Calrissian, did he survive? Lando: Yes, hes alive, and in perfect hibernation. Darth Vader: Hes all yours, bounty hunter.

[Darth Vader has just learned of Admiral Ozzels big blunder, and activates a viewscreen] Admiral Ozzel: [appearing onscreen with Captain Piett] Lord Vader, the fleet has moved out of lightspeed and were preparing to… [Ozzel stops, and suddenly begins to choke, clutching at his throat] Darth Vader: You have failed me for the last time, Admiral. Captain Piett? Captain Piett: Yes, my lord? Darth Vader: Make ready to land our troops beyond their energy field, and deploy the fleet, so that nothing gets off the system. [beside Piett, Admiral Ozzel utters one last strangled gasp, and falls over dead] Darth Vader: You are in command now, Admiral Piett. Admiral Piett: Thank you, Lord Vader.

Darth Vader: All too easy.

Luke: How far away is Yoda? Will it take us long to get there? Yoda: Not far. Yoda not far. Patience. Soon you will be with him.

[the storm troopers are taken prisoner by Calrissians men] Lando: [to Lobot, his aide] Well done. Get them to the security tower, and keep it quiet. Move. [Landos aide and their men walk off with the troops as Lando hands Leia the imperials weapons and starts taking off Chewies cuffs] Leia: What do you think youre doing? Lando: Were getting out of here. C-3PO: I knew all along. Had to be a mistake. Leia: [angrily] Do you think that after what you did to Han that were going to trust you? [Chewie grabs Lando by the throat] Lando: [choking] I had no choice! C-3PO: What are you doing? Trust him, trust him! Leia: Oh, well, we understand, dont we, Chewie. You had “no choice”. Lando: Just trying to help… Leia: We dont need any of your help! Lando: [gasps] Han! Ha- Ha… Leia: What? Lando: HAN! C-3PO: It sounds like Han! Lando: [gasping] Theres still a chance to save Han! At the east… platform! Leia: Chewie! [Leia gets Chewie to drop Lando] C-3PO: Im terribly sorry about all this. After all, hes only a Wookiee!

[Chewbacca is fixing C-3PO] C-3PO: Oh, yes, thats very good, I like that… Oh! [the lights in his eyes go out] C-3PO: Well, now, somethings not right, because now I cant see! [Chewie fiddles with something and his eyes turn back on] C-3PO: Oh, oh, thats much better. Wait… wait. Oh, my! What have you done? Im BACKWARDS. You flea-bitten furball! Only an overgrown mop-head like you would be stupid enough to… [Chewie switches 3PO off]

Leia: Theyre getting closer. Han Solo: Oh, yeah? Watch this. [he throws the hyperdrive lever, the engine sputters and dies] Leia: Watch what? Han Solo: I think were in trouble. C-3PO: If I may say so, sir, I noticed earlier the hyperdrive motivator has been damaged. Its impossible to go to lightspeed. Han Solo: Were in trouble.

Leia: I thought you knew this person. Chewbacca: [Chewie barks something to Han] Han Solo: Well, that was a long time ago, Im sure hes forgotten about that.

C-3PO: [Interrupting Han and Leia kissing] Sir. Sir, Ive isolated the reverse, power flux coupling. Han Solo: Thank you. Thank you very much. C-3PO: Oh youre perfectly welcome, sir.

[trying to fix the hyperdrive] Han Solo: Horizontal boosters. Alluvial dampers? Ow! Thats not it, bring me the Hydrospanner. I dont know how were going to get out of this one. [the ship is hit, causing the tool box to fall on Han] Han Solo: OW! Chewie!

Darth Vader: Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son.

C-3PO: I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me. [R2-D2 bleeps an inquiry] C-3PO: Of course Ive looked better.

[repeated line] Luke: Ben… Ben. Why didnt you tell me?

C-3PO: Master Luke, Sir, its so good to see you fully functional again. R2 expresses his relief also.

Han Solo: How ya feeling kid? You dont look so bad to me. You look strong enough to pull the ears off a gundark. Luke: Thanks to you. Han Solo: Thats two you owe me junior.

Lando: I had no choice. They arrived right before you did. Im sorry. Han Solo: Im sorry too.

[R2 is trying to open the door as Storm Troopers shoot at them; he beeps] C-3PO: No! Were not interested in the hyperdrive on the Millenium Falcon, its fixed! [R2 beeps again] C-3PO: Just open the door, you stupid lug! [he opens the door] C-3PO: I never doubted him for a second! Wonderful!

[reacting to the arrival of Boba Fett and others] Admiral Piett: Bounty hunters. We dont need their scum.

Captain Needa: They cant have disappeared. No ship that small has a cloaking device.

C-3PO: Im terribly sorry about all this. After all, hes only a Wookiee.

C-3PO: Sir, I dont know where your ship learned to communicate, but it has the most peculiar dialect.

[after R2D2 is spit out by a swamp creature on Dagobah - the line is changed in the Special Edition] Luke: Youre lucky you dont taste very good.

Darth Vader: What is it, General? General Veers: My Lord, the fleet has moved out of lightspeed. Com Scan has detected an energy field protecting an area of the sixth planet of the Hoth System. The field is strong enough to deflect any bombardment. Darth Vader: The Rebels are alerted to our presence. Admiral Ozzel came out of lightspeed too close to the system. General Veers: He felt surprise was wiser… Darth Vader: He is as clumsy as he is stupid. General, prepare your troops for a surface attack. General Veers: Yes, my Lord.

[On the asteroid] Princess Leia: I have a bad feeling about this…

C-3PO: [about Lando] : Well, he seems very friendly. Princess Leia: Yes, very friendly…

Lando: [to Leia] You look absolutely beautiful. You truly belong here with us among the clouds. Princess Leia: [cooly] Thank you.

Luke: [clinging to an antennae below Cloud City] Leia… Hear me, Leia… Princess Leia: [in the Falcon] Luke… Weve got to go back. Lando: What? Princess Leia: I know where Luke is!

Lando: Lord Vader, we only use this facility for carbon freezing. If you put him in there it might kill him. Darth Vader: I do not want the Emperors prize damaged. We will test it on Captain Solo.

General Veers: My lord, Ive reached the main power generators. The shield will be down in moments, you may start your landing.

[Wedge and Janson succeeds in bring down an Imperial Walker] Wedge Antilles: Whoa! That got him!

Darth Vader: You have learned much, young one. Luke: Youll find Im full of surprises.

Darth Vader: Yes, Admiral, what is it? Admiral Piett: The Emperor commands you make contact with him. Darth Vader: Move the ship out of the asteroid field so that we can send a clear transmission.

Luke: Theres something not right here… I feel cold. Death. Yoda: [points to a cave opening beneath a large tree] That place… is strong with the dark side of the Force. A domain of evil it is. In you must go. Luke: Whats in there? Yoda: Only what you take with you.

General Rieekan: I dont think we can protect two transports at a time. Princess Leia: Its risky but we cant hold out much longer. We have no choice. General Rieekan: Launch patrols. Princess Leia: Evacuate remaining ground staff.

Yoda: Your weapons, you will not need them.

Princess Leia: All troop carriers will assemble at the north entrance. The heavy transport ships will leave as soon as theyre loaded. Only two fighter escorts per ship. The energy shield can only be opened for a short time, so youll have to stay very close to your transports. Derek Hobbie Klivian: Two fighters against a Star Destroyer? Princess Leia: The ion cannon will fire several shots to make sure any enemy ships will be out of your flight path. When youve gotten past the energy shield, proceed directly to the rendezvous point. Understood? Good luck.

C-3PO: Dont worry about Master Luke. Im sure hell be all right. Hes quite clever, you know… for a human being.

C-3PO: [R2 is outside the Hoth base, scanning the area] You must come along now R2. Theres really nothing more we can do. And my joints are freezing up. [R2 Beeps something about Luke] C-3PO: Dont say things like that! Of course well see Master Luke again! And hell be quite all right, youll see! [to himself] C-3PO: Stupid little short-circuit! Hell be *quite* all right. [R2 beeps again and keeps scanning]

[in the Asteroid Field] Princess Leia: Were going to get pulverized if we stay out here much longer. Han Solo: Im not going to argue with that. C-3PO: Pulverized?

Princess Leia: Some day youre gonna be wrong, I just hope Im there to see it.

Princess Leia: [to Han] You certainly have a way with people…

Luke: But tell me why I cant… Yoda: No, no, there is no why. Nothing more will I teach you today. Clear your mind of questions.

[Lukes ship sinks into the mud] Luke: Well never get it out now! Yoda: So certain are you. Always with you it cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say?

[first title cards] Title card/crawl: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… Title card/crawl: It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy. Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Luke Skywalker has established a new secret base on the remote ice world of Hoth. The evil lord Darth Vader, obsessed with finding young Skywalker, has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of space…

[first lines] Luke: Echo Three to Echo Seven. Han, old buddy, do you read me? Han Solo: Loud and clear, kid. Whats up? Luke: Well, I finished my circle. I dont pick up any life readings. Han Solo: There isnt enough life on this ice cube to fill a space cruiser. Sensors are placed. Im going back. Luke: Right. Ill see you shortly. Theres a meteorite that hit the ground near here. I want to check it out. It wont take long.

[last lines] Lando: Princess, well find Han. I promise. Luke: Chewie, Ill be waiting for your signal. Take care, you two. May the force be with you.

[Han has decided to go searching for Luke] Echo Base Officer: Your Tauntaun will freeze before you reach the first marker! Han Solo: Then Ill see you in Hell!

Han Solo: [after being tortured] I feel terrible.

Lando: [to Han] You know, seeing you sure brings back a few things. Yeah, Im responsible now, the price you pay for being successful.

Lando: [seeing Leia for the first time] Hello, what have we here?

Lando: How you doin Chewbacca? Still hanging around with this loser?

Darth Vader: Bring my shuttle.

[C-3PO and R2-D2 are first seen walking in the underground base on Ice Planet Hoth] C-3PO: I didnt ask you to turn on the thermal heater. I merely commented that it was freezing in the princesss chamber… R2-D2: [Chirps his objection] C-3PO: But its SUPPOSED to be freezing! How we are ever going to dry out her clothes, I really dont know!

C-3PO: [in 1997 Special Edition only] Oh, this is suicide! Theres nowhere to go.

Luke: Watch that cross fire boys.

Luke: [in 1997 Special Edition only] This is it.

Yoda: [to Luke] How do you get so big eating food of this kind?

Princess Leia: The cave is collapsing. Han Solo: This is no cave.

C-3PO: That sounds like an R2 unit in there! I wonder if… Hello? How interesting. Stormtrooper: Who are you? C-3PO: Oh, my! I… Im terribly sorry. I didnt mean to intrude. No, please dont get up. [the Stormtrooper shoots C-3PO]

Han Solo: Whats going on… Buddy? Lando: Youre being put into carbon-freeze.

Princess Leia: Luke! Luke! Dont! Its a trap! Its a trap!

Darth Vader: [in 1997 Special Edition only] Alert my Star Destroyer to prepare for my arrival.

C-3PO: [Chewbacca is carrying the dismembered C3PO on his back] If only youd attached my legs, I wouldnt be in this ridiculous position. Now remember, Chewbacca, you have a responsibility to me, so dont do anything foolish!

Lando: Ive just made a deal thatll keep the Empire out of here forever.

Darth Vader: We would be honored if you would join us.

Darth Vader: There will be a substantial reward for the one who finds the Millenium Falcon. You are free to use any methods necessary but I want them alive – no disintegrations! Boba Fett: As you wish.

McMurphy: Which one of you nuts has got any guts?

McMurphy: Thats right, Mr. Martini. There is an Easter Bunny.

Chief Bromden: My pop was real big. He did like he pleased. Thats why everybody worked on him. The last time I seen my father, he was blind and diseased from drinking. And every time he put the bottle to his mouth, he dont suck out of it, it sucks out of him until he shrunk so wrinkled and yellow even the dogs didnt know him. McMurphy: Killed him, huh? Chief Bromden: Im not saying they killed him. They just worked on him. The way theyre working on you.

McMurphy: I must be crazy to be in a loony bin like this.

McMurphy: Im a goddamn marvel of modern science.

Taber: Jack Dumpeys full of shit!

[McMurphy is pretending to watch the World Series on TV] McMurphy: Someone get me a fucking wiener before I die.

Nurse Ratched: Arent you ashamed? Billy: No, Im not. [Applause from friends] Nurse Ratched: You know Billy, what worries me is how your mother is going to take this. Billy: Um, um, well, y-y-y-you d-d-d-dont have to t-t-t-tell her, Miss Ratched. Nurse Ratched: I dont have to tell her? Your mother and I are old friends. You know that. Billy: P-p-p-please d-d-dont tell my m-m-m-mother.

McMurphy: A little dabll do ya.

McMurphy: What are you doin here? You oughta be out in a convertible bird-doggin chicks and bangin beaver.

McMurphy: Is that crazy enough for ya? Want me to take a shit on the floor?

McMurphy: [about shock treatments] They was giving me ten thousand watts a day, you know, and Im hot to trot! The next woman takes me ons gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars!

McMurphy: She was fifteen years old, going on thirty-five, Doc, and she told me she was eighteen, she was very willing, I practically had to take to sewing my pants shut. Between you and me, uh, she might have been fifteen, but when you get that little red beaver right up there in front of you, I dont think its crazy at all and I dont think you do either. No man alive could resist that, and thats why I got into jail to begin with. And now theyre telling me Im crazy over here because I dont sit there like a goddamn vegetable. Dont make a bit of sense to me. If thats what being crazy is, then Im senseless, out of it, gone-down-the-road, wacko. But no more, no less, thats it.

Candy: [innocently] You all crazy?

McMurphy: In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she dont know whether to shit or wind her wristwatch.

McMurphy: Im here to cooperate with you a hundred percent. A hundred percent. Ill be just right down the line with ya. You watch.

[the inmates are playing cards and betting with cigarettes] Martini: [rips a cigarette in half] I bet a nickel. McMurphy: Dimes the limit, Martini. Martini: I bet a dime. [Puts the two halves onto the table] McMurphy: This is not a dime, Martini. This is a dime. [shows a whole cigarette] McMurphy: If you break it in half, you dont get two nickels, you get shit. Try and smoke it. You understand? Martini: Yes. McMurphy: You dont understand.

McMurphy: What do you think you are, for Chrissake, crazy or somethin? Well youre not! Youre not! Youre no crazier than the average asshole out walkin around on the streets and thats it.

McMurphy: Why dont ya shut your goddamn mouth and play some music.

[McMurphy, getting Chief into the basketball game] McMurphy: Hit me, Chief, I got the moves!

Nurse Ratched: If Mr. McMurphy doesnt want to take his medication orally, Im sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I dont think that he would like it. [McMurphy turns around to see Harding smiling at him] McMurphy: Heh, YOUD like it, wouldnt you? [to Harding, regarding the pills] McMurphy: Here, give it to me.

Cheswick: Rules? PISS ON YOUR FUCKING RULES!

Chief Bromden: Mmmmmm, Juicy Fruit.

[about Nurse Ratched] McMurphy: Well I dont wanna break up the meeting or nothin, but shes somethin of a cunt, aint she Doc?

Dr. Spivey: Well, the real reason that youve been sent over here is because they wanted you to be evaluated… to determine whether or not you are mentally ill. This is the real reason. Why do you think they might think that? McMurphy: Well, as near as I can figure out, its cause I, uh, fight and fuck too much.

McMurphy: Get out of my way son, youre usin my oxygen.

McMurphy: Nurse Ratched, Nurse Ratched! The Chief voted! Now will you please turn on the television set? Nurse Ratched: [she opens the glass window] Mr. McMurphy, the meeting was adjourned and the vote was closed. McMurphy: But the vote was 10 to 8. The Chief, hes got his hand up! Look! Nurse Ratched: No, Mr. McMurphy. When the meeting was adjourned, the vote was 9 to 9. McMurphy: [exasperated] Aw come on, youre not gonna say that now! Youre not gonna say that now! Youre gonna pull that hen house shit? Now when the vote… the Chief just voted – it was 10 to 9. Now I want that television set turned on *right now*! [Nurse Ratched closes the glass window]

McMurphy: Youre not an idiot. Huh! Youre not a goddamn looney now, boy. Youre a fisherman!

Nurse Pilbow: Dont get upset, Mr. McMurphy. McMurphy: Im not getting upset, Nurse Pilbow. I just dont want anyone to slip me salt peter!

[telling McMurphy about Chief] Billy: He-he-he cant hear you. Hes a d-d-deaf and d-d-dumb Indian.

McMurphy: [pointing to naked woman on playing card] Where do you suppose she lives?

McMurphy: Were just having a little party. Orderly Turkle: Party my ass, this aint no nightclub!

Night Nurse: Mr. Turkle? McMurphy: Where the fuck is he, why doesnt he answer her? Taber: Hes jerkin off somewhere. Orderly Turkle: Aint no one jerkin off nowhere muthafucker! McMurphy: Turkle what the fuck are you doing in here? Go out and talk to her. Orderly Turkle: Im doin the same fuckin thing your doin- hidin!

[last lines] Chief Bromden: Mac… they said you escaped. I knew you wouldnt leave without me. I was waiting for you. Now we can make it, Mac; I feel big as a damn mountain. [he suddenly sees the lobotomy scars] Chief Bromden: Oh, no… Chief Bromden: [embracing McMurphy] Im not goin without you, Mac. I wouldnt leave you this way… Youre coming with me. Chief Bromden: [laying him down] Lets go.

McMurphy: But I tried, didnt I? Goddamnit, at least I did that.

McMurphy: Whos the head bull-goose loony around here?

Orderly Turkle: Oh shit, the supervisor!

Nurse Ratched: Your hand is staining my window.

McMurphy: Jesus Christ! Dyou nuts wanna play cards or do ya wanna fuckin jerk off?

McMurphy: Koufax looks down! Hes looking at the great Mickey Mantle now! Here comes the pitch! Mantle swings! Its a fucking home run! [loud cheering from the patients]

Young Psychiatrist: Have you ever heard of the old saying “a rolling stone gathers no moss?” McMurphy: Yeah. Young Psychiatrist: Does that mean something to you? McMurphy: Uh… tts the same as “dont wash your dirty underwear in public.” Young Psychiatrist: Im not sure I understand what you mean. McMurphy: [smiling] Im smarter than him, aint I? [laughs] McMurphy: Well, that sort of has always meant, is, uh, its hard for something to grow on something thats moving.

Psychiatrist: Dr. Sanji? Dr. Sanji: I dont think hes overly psychotic, but, I still think hes quite sick. Psychiatrist: You think hes dangerous? Dr. Sanji: Absolutely so.

McMurphy: [pretending to watch the World Series on TV] Koufax… Koufax kicks. He delivers. Its up the middle! Its a base hit! Richardson is rounding first. Hes going for second. The balls into deep right center. Davis cuts the ball off! Here comes the throw. He throws it to second! He slides! Hes in there! Hes safe! Its a double.! Richardsons on second base! [McMurphy gets up as the other patients come to see what hes doing] McMurphy: Koufax is in big fucking trouble! Big trouble, baby! All right. Tresh is the next batter. Tresh looks in. Koufax… Koufax gets a sign from Roseboro. He kicks once. He pumps. He fires. Its a strike! Koufaxs curve ball is snapping off like a fucking firecracker! All right, here he comes with the next pitch. Tresh swings. Its a long fly ball to deep left center! [patients cheer] McMurphy: Its going! Its gone! Lets hear it! One way!

Harding: Im not just talking about my wife, Im talking about my LIFE, I cant seem to get that through to you. Im not just talking about one person, Im talking about everybody. Im talking about form. Im talking about content. Im talking about interrelationships. Im talking about God, the devil, Hell, Heaven. Do you understand… FINALLY?

McMurphy: What are we doing in here, Chief? Huh? Whats us two guys doing in this fucking place? Lets get out of here. Out. Chief Bromden: Canada? McMurphy: Canada. Well be there before these sonofabitches know what hit em. Listen to Randall on this one.

McMurphy: When we get to Canada…

McMurphy: I cant take it no more. I gotta get outta here. Chief Bromden: I cant. I just cant. McMurphy: Its easier than you think, Chief. Chief Bromden: For you, maybe. Youre a lot bigger than me.

Taber: [Taber is picking on Harding as he plays Monopoly with Martini] [pushing his back] Taber: Come on, Harding. Play the game. Play it! Harding: I am playing the game! Stop bothering me! I cant concentrate! Taber: [pushing him again] Play the game, Harding. Come on! Harding: [shouting] You keep your hands off me, YOU SON OF A BITCH!

[first lines] Attendant Warren: Good morning, Miss Ratched. Nurse Ratched: Good morning. Attendant Washington: Good morning, Miss Ratched. Nurse Ratched: Mr. Washington. Miller: Morning. Nurse Ratched: Good morning. Nurse Pilbow: Good morning, Miss Ratched. Nurse Ratched: Good morning. Attendant Washington: Morning, Bancini. Bancini: Morning. Attendant Washington: How do you feel? Bancini: Rested. Nurse Pilbow: Medication time. Medication time.

Juror #6: Well, Im not used to supposin. Im just a workin man. My boss does all the supposin – but Ill try one. Supposin you talk us all out of this and, uh, the kid really did knife his father?

Juror #10: Bright? Hes a common ignorant slob. He dont even speak good English. Juror #11: *Doesnt* even speak good English.

Juror #10: I dont understand you people! I mean all these picky little points you keep bringing up. They dont mean nothing. You saw this kid just like I did. Youre not gonna tell me you believe that phony story about losing the knife, and that business about being at the movies. Look, you know how these people lie! Its born in them! I mean what the heck? I dont have to tell you. They dont know what the truth is! And lemme tell you, they dont need any real big reason to kill someone, either! No sir! [Five gets up from his seat] Juror #10: They get drunk… oh, theyre real big drinkers, all of em – you know that – and bang: someones lyin in the gutter. Oh, nobodys blaming them for it. Thats the way they are! By nature! You know what I mean? VIOLENT! Juror #10: [Nine rises and crosses to the window] Wherere you going? Juror #10: Human life dont mean as much to them as it does to us! [Eleven gets up and walks to the other window] Juror #10: Look, theyre lushing it up and fighting all the time and if somebody gets killed, so somebody gets killed! They dont care! Oh, sure, there are some good things about em, too. Look, Im the first one to say that. [Eight gets up and walks to the nearest wall] Juror #10: Ive known a couple who were OK, but thats the exception, yknow what I mean? [Two and Six get up from the table. Everyones back is to Ten] Juror #10: Most of em, its like they have no feelings! They can do anything! Whats goin on here? Im trying to tell you… youre makin a big mistake, you people! This kid is a liar! I know it. I know all about them! Listen to me! Theyre no good! Theres not a one of em who is any good! I mean, whats happening in here? Im speaking my piece, and you… [the Foreman gets up and walks away. So does Twelve] Juror #10: Listen to me. Were… This kid on trial here… his type, well, dont you know about them? Theres a, theres a danger here. These people are dangerous. Theyre wild. Listen to me. Listen. Juror #4: I have. Now sit down and dont open your mouth again.

Juror #8: Its always difficult to keep personal prejudice out of a thing like this. And wherever you run into it, prejudice always obscures the truth. I dont really know what the truth is. I dont suppose anybody will ever really know. Nine of us now seem to feel that the defendant is innocent, but were just gambling on probabilities – we may be wrong. We may be trying to let a guilty man go free, I dont know. Nobody really can. But we have a reasonable doubt, and thats something thats very valuable in our system. No jury can declare a man guilty unless its SURE. We nine cant understand how you three are still so sure. Maybe you can tell us.

[last lines] Juror #9: Hey… whats your name? Juror #8: Davis. Juror #9: My names McCardle. [pause] Juror #9: Well, so long. Juror #8: So long.

Juror #8: Heres what I think happened: the old man heard the fight between the boy and his father a few hours earlier. Then, when hes lying in his bed he heard a body hit the floor in the boys apartment, heard the woman scream from across the street, got to his front door as fast as he could, heard somebody racing down the stairs and assumed it was the boy. Juror #6: I think thats possible. Juror #3: ASSUMED? Brother, Ive seen all kinds of dishonesty in my day, but this little display takes the cake. Yall come in here with your hearts bleedin all over the floor about slum kids and injustice; you listen to some fairy tales; suddenly you start gettin through to some of these old ladies… well, youre not getting through to me, Ive had enough! WHATS THE MATTER WITH YOU GUYS? You all know hes guilty. Hes got to burn! Youre letting him slip through our fingers. Juror #8: Slip through our fingers? Are you his executioner? Juror #3: Im one of em! Juror #8: Perhaps youd like to pull the switch? Juror #3: For this kid? You bet I would! Juror #8: I feel sorry for you… what it must feel like to want to pull the switch. [baiting him] Juror #8: Ever since you walked into this room, youve been acting like a self-appointed public avenger! You want to see this boy die because you personally want it, not because of the facts! Youre a sadist! [Three lunges wildly at Eight, who holds his ground. Several jurors hold Three back] Juror #3: Ill kill him! ILL KILL HIM! Juror #8: You dont *really* mean youll kill me, do you?

Juror #8: Theres something else Id like to talk about for a minute. I think weve proved that the old man couldnt have heard the boy say “Im gonna kill you,” but supposing… Juror #10: You didnt prove it at all. Whatre you talking about? Juror #8: But supposing he really did hear it. This phrase, how many times have all of us used it? Probably thousands. “I could kill you for that, darling.” “Junior, you do that once more and Im gonna kill you.” “Get in there, Rocky, and kill him!” We say it every day. That doesnt mean were going to kill anyone. Juror #3: Wait a minute. What are you trying to give us here? The phrase was “Im gonna kill you.” The kid yelled it at the top of his lungs! Dont tell me he didnt mean it. Anybody says a thing like that the way he said it, they mean it.

[Juror 8 has convinced everyone to change their votes to not guilty except for Juror 3] Juror #7: Well, what do we do now? Juror #8: [to #3] Youre alone. Juror #3: I dont care whether Im alone or not! Its my right. Juror #8: Its your right. Juror #3: Well, what do you want? I say hes guilty. Juror #8: We want to hear your arguments. Juror #3: I gave you my arguments! Juror #8: Were not convinced. We want to hear them again. We have as much time as it takes. Juror #3: Everything… every single thing that took place in that courtroom, but I mean everything… says hes guilty. What dya think? Im an idiot or somethin? Why dont cha take that stuff about the old man; the old man who lived there and heard every thing? Or this business about the knife! What, cause we found one exactly like it? The old man SAW him. Right there on the stairs. Whats the difference how many seconds it was? Every single thing. The knife falling through a hole in his pocket… you cant PROVE he didnt get to the door! Sure, you can take all the time hobblin around the room, but you cant PROVE it! And what about this business with the El? And the movies! Theres a phony deal if I ever heard one. I betcha five thousand dollars Id remember the movies I saw! Im tellin ya: every thing thats gone on has been twisted… and turned. This business with the glasses. How do you know she didnt have em on? This woman testified in open court! And what about hearin the kid yell… huh? Im tellin ya, Ive got all the facts here… Juror #3: [He struggles with his notebook, throws it on the table. The photo of him with his son is on top] Here… Ah. Well, thats it – thats the whole case! [He turns towards the window as the other jurors stare at him] Juror #3: Well… say something! You lousy bunch of bleedin hearts. Youre not goin to intimidate me – Im entitled to my opinion! [He sees the picture of his son on the table] Juror #3: Rotten kids… you work your life out! [He grabs the picture and tears it to pieces. He suddenly realizes what hes doing] Juror #3: [Breaks down] No. Not guilty. Not guilty.

Juror #2: Its hard to put into words. I just think hes guilty. I thought it was obvious from the word, Go. Nobody proved otherwise. Juror #8: Nobody has to prove otherwise. The burden of proof is on the prosecution. The defendant doesnt even have to open his mouth. Thats in the Constitution.

Juror #8: Look, there was one alleged eye witness to this killing. Someone else claims he heard the killing, saw the boy run out afterwards and there was a lot of circumstantial evidence. But, actually, those two witnesses were the entire case for the prosecution. Supposing theyre wrong? Juror #12: What do you mean, supposing theyre wrong? Whats the point of having witnesses at all? Juror #8: Could they be wrong? Juror #12: What are you trying to say? Those people sat on the stand under oath. Juror #8: Theyre only people. People make mistakes. Could they be wrong? Juror #12: Well, no, I dont think so. Juror #8: Do you know so? Juror #12: Oh, come on. Nobody can know a thing like that. This isnt an exact science. Juror #8: Thats right, it isnt.

Juror #3: Youre talking about a matter of seconds. Nobody can be that accurate. Juror #8: Well I think that testimony that can put a boy into the electric chair SHOULD be that accurate.

Juror #11: I beg pardon… Juror #10: “I beg pardon?” What are you so polite about? Juror #11: For the same reason you are not: its the way I was brought up.

Juror #3: What do you mean you want to try it? Why didnt his lawyer bring it up if its so important? Juror #5: Well, maybe he just didnt think about it huh? Juror #10: What do you mean didnt think of it? Do you think the mans an idiot or something? Its an obvious thing. Juror #5: Did you think of it? Juror #10: Listen smart guy, it dont matter whether I thought of it. He didnt bring it up because he knew it would hurt his case. What do you think of that? Juror #8: Maybe he didnt bring it up because it would of meant bullying and badgering a helpless old man. You know that doesnt sit very well with a jury; most lawyers avoid it if they can. Juror #7: So what kind of a bum is he then? Juror #8: Thats what Ive been asking, buddy.

Juror #3: That business before when that tall guy, whats-his-name, was trying to bait me? That doesnt prove anything. Im a pretty excitable person. I mean, where does he come off calling me a public avenger, sadist and everything? Anyone in his right mind would blow his stack. He was just trying to bait me. Juror #4: He did an excellent job.

Juror #10: Oh, listen, I dont see what all this stuff about the knife has got to do with anything. Somebody saw the kid stab his Father, what more do we need? You guys can talk the ears right off my head you know what I mean? I got three garages of mine going to pot while youre talking! So lets get down and get out of here!

Juror #7: You a Yankee fan? Juror #5: No, Baltimore. Juror #7: Baltimore? Thats like being hit in the head with a crow bar once a day.

Juror #3: Look, you voted guilty. What side are you on? Juror #11: I dont believe I have to be loyal to one side or the other. Im simply asking questions.

Juror #8: I just want to talk. Juror #7: Well, whats there to talk about? Eleven men in here think hes guilty. No one had to think about it twice except you. Juror #10: I want to to ask you something: do you believe his story? Juror #8: I dont know whether I believe it or not – maybe I dont. Juror #7: So how come you vote not guilty? Juror #8: Well, there were eleven votes for guilty. Its not easy to raise my hand and send a boy off to die without talking about it first. Juror #7: Well now, who says its easy? Juror #8: No one. Juror #7: What, just because I voted fast? I honestly think the guys guilty. Couldnt change my mind if you talked for a hundred years. Juror #8: Im not trying to change your mind. Its just that… were talking about somebodys life here. We cant decide it in five minutes. Supposing were wrong? Juror #7: Supposing were wrong! Supposing this whole building should fall down on my head. You can suppose anything! Juror #8: Thats right.

Juror #8: I just think we owe him a few words, thats all. Juror #10: I dont mind telling you this, mister: we dont owe him a thing. He got a fair trial, didnt he? What do you think that trial cost? Hes lucky he got it. Know what I mean? Now, look – were all grown-ups in here. We heard the facts, didnt we? Youre not gonna tell me that were supposed to believe this kid, knowing what he is. Listen, Ive lived among them all my life – you cant believe a word they say, you know that. I mean theyre born liars. Juror #9: Only an ignorant man can believe that. Juror #10: Now, listen… Juror #9: Do you think you were born with a monopoly on the truth? I think certain things should be pointed out to this man.

[after Juror #10 explains that he believes the boy is guilty because of the testimony of the woman across the street] Juror #8: Id like to ask you something: you dont believe the boys story; how come you believe the womans? Shes one of them, too, isnt she? Juror #10: Youre a pretty smart fella, arent you?

Juror #3: Its these kids – the way they are nowadays. When I was a kid I used to call my father, Sir. Thats right… Sir. You ever hear a kid call his father that anymore? Juror #8: Fathers dont seem to think its important anymore. Juror #3: You got any kids? Juror #8: Three. Juror #3: I got one. Twenty-two years old. [takes photo from his wallet and shows it to Juror #8] Juror #3: Aah. When he was nine years old he ran away from a fight. I saw it; I was so embarrassed I almost threw up. I said, “Im gonna make a man outa you if I have to break you in two tryin”. And I made a man out of him. When he was sixteen we had a fight. Hit me in the jaw – a big kid. Havent seen him for two years. Kids… work your heart out…

Juror #8: According to the testimony, the boy looks guilty… maybe he is. I sat there in court for six days listening while the evidence built up. Everybody sounded so positive, you know, I… I began to get a peculiar feeling about this trial. I mean nothing is that positive. Therere a lot of questions Id have liked to ask. I dont know, maybe they wouldnt have meant anything, but… I began to get the feeling that the defense counsel wasnt conducting a thorough enough cross-examination. I mean he… he let too many things go by… little things that… Juror #10: What little things? Listen, when these fellas dont ask questions its because they know the answers already and they figure theyll be hurt. Juror #8: Maybe. Its also possible for a lawyer to be just plain stupid, isnt it? I mean its possible. Juror #7: You sound like you met my brother-in-law.

[after Juror #8 has established that the old man witness could not have heard the killing over the noise of the elevated train] Juror #3: Why should he lie? Whats he got to gain? Juror #9: Attention, maybe. Juror #3: You keep coming in with these bright sayings. Why dont you send em into a paper – they pay three dollars apiece. Juror #6: What are you talkin to him like that for? Guy talks like that to an old man really oughta get stepped on, you know. You oughta have more respect, mister. If you say stuff like that to him again… Im gonna lay you out.

Juror #8: Id like to find out if an old man who drags one foot when he walks, cause he had a stroke last year, could get from his bedroom to his front door in fifteen seconds. Juror #3: He said twenty seconds. Juror #8: He said fifteen! Juror #3: He said twenty seconds! What are you tryin to distort… Juror #9: He said fifteen. Juror #3: How does he know how long fifteen seconds is? You cant judge a thing like that. Juror #9: He said fifteen seconds. He was very positive about it. Juror #3: He was an old man. Half the time he was confused. How could he be positive about anything! [realizes what hes just admitted]

Juror #5: Boy oh boy, its really hot, huh? Pardon me, but dont you ever sweat? Juror #4: No, I dont.

[after another vote is taken, the count is six to six] Juror #10: Six to six… Im telling you, some of you people in here must be out of your minds. A kid like that… Juror #9: I dont think the kind of boy he is has anything to do with it. The facts are supposed to determine the case. Juror #10: Dont give me that. Im sick and tired of facts! You can twist em anyway you like, you know what I mean? Juror #9: Thats exactly the point this gentleman has been making. [indicates Juror #8]

[Juror #9 has pointed out that the woman witness across the street had marks on her nose indicating she normally wore glasses] Juror #8: [to Juror #4] Do you wear glasses when you go to bed? Juror #4: No. I dont. No one wears eyeglasses to bed. Juror #8: Its logical to assume that she wasnt wearing them when she was in bed. Tossing and turning, trying to fall asleep. Juror #3: How do you know? Juror #8: I dont know – Im guessing! Im also guessing that she probably didnt put her glasses on when she turned to look casually out of the window. And she, herself, testified the killing took place just as she looked out. The lights went off a split second later – she couldnt have had time to put them on then. Heres another guess: maybe she honestly thought she saw the boy kill his father – I say she only saw a blur. Juror #3: How do you know WHAT she saw? How does he know all that? How do you know what kind of glasses she wore? Maybe they were sunglasses. Maybe she was far-sighted. What do you know about it? Juror #8: I only know the womans eyesight is in question now. Juror #11: She had to be able to identify a person sixty feet away – at night – without glasses. Juror #2: You cant send someone off to die on evidence like that! Juror #3: Oh, dont give me that. Juror #8: Dont you think the woman might have made a mistake? Juror #3: No. Juror #8: Its not POSSIBLE? Juror #3: No, its not possible! Juror #3: [Juror #8 goes to Juror #12] Is it possible? Juror #12: [nods] Not guilty. Juror #8: [#8 goes to #10] Do you think hes guilty? [#10 shakes his head no] Juror #3: I think hes guilty! Juror #8: [#8 goes to #4] Do you? Juror #4: No. Im convinced. Not guilty. Juror #3: Whats the matter with you? Juror #4: I have a reasonable doubt, now. Juror #9: Eleven to one!

Juror #10: All right, who was it? I wanna know. Juror #11: Excuse me, this was a secret ballot. We all agreed on that. Now if the gentleman wants it to remain secret… Juror #3: Secret? What do you mean secret? There are no secrets in a jury room, I know who it was. [to Juror #5] Juror #3: Brother, you really are something, you sit here vote guilty like the rest of us, then some golden-voiced preacher starts tearing your poor heart out about some underprivileged kid, just couldnt help becoming a murderer, and you change your vote. Well if that isnt the most sickening… Why dont you drop a quarter in his collection box! Juror #5: Oh now just wait a minute, listen, you cant talk to me that, who do you think you are? Juror #4: Now calm down, calm down! Juror #5: No, now who do you think you are? Juror #4: It doesnt matter, hes very excitable, just sit down. Juror #3: Excitable! You bet Im excitable. We are trying to put a guilty man in the chair where he belongs, and then someone starts telling us fairytales and were listening! Juror #1: Heya, cmon now. Juror #3: [to Juror #5] What made you change your vote? Juror #9: He didnt change his vote. I did! Juror #10: Ohhh fine. Juror #9: Would you like me to tell ya why? Juror #7: No I wouldnt like you to tell me why… Juror #9: Well Id like to make it clear anyways, if you dont mind. Juror #10: Do we have to listen to this? Juror #6: The man wants to talk. Juror #9: Thank you. [motions to Juror #8] Juror #9: This gentleman has been standing alone against us. Now he doesnt say that the boy is not guilty, he just isnt sure. Well its not easy to stand alone against the ridicule of others, so he gambled for support and I gave it to him. I respect his motives. The boy is probably guilty, but – eh, I want to hear more. Right now the vote is ten to two. [Juror #7 gets up and heads to the bathroom] Juror #9: Now Im talking here, you have no right to leave this room… Juror #8: He cant hear you, and he never will. Lets sit down.

[first lines] Man in corridor: You did a wonderful job, wonderful job! Judge: To continue, youve listened to a long and complex case, murder in the first degree. Premeditated murder is the most serious charge tried in our criminal courts. Youve listened to the testimony, youve had the law read to you and interpreted as it applies in this case, its now your duty to sit down and try to separate the facts from the fancy. One man is dead, another mans life is at stake, if theres a reasonable doubt in your minds as to the guilt of the accused, uh a reasonable doubt, then you must bring me a verdict of “Not Guilty”. If, however, theres no reasonable doubt, then you must, in good conscience, find the accused “Guilty”. However you decide, your verdict must be unanimous. In the event that you find the accused “Guilty”, the bench will not entertain a recommendation for mercy. The death sentence is mandatory in this case. Youre faced with a grave responsibility, thank you, gentlemen.

Juror #7: I dont know about the rest of em but Im gettin a little tired of this yakity-yack and back-and-forth, its gettin us nowhere. So I guess *Ill* have to break it up; I change my vote to “not guilty.” Juror #3: You *what*? Juror #7: You heard me, I… had enough. Juror #3: What do you mean youve had enough? Thats no answer! Juror #7: Hey listen, you just uh… take care of yourself, huh? You know? Juror #11: Hes right. Thats not an answer. What kind of a man are you? You have sat here and voted “guilty” with everyone else because there are some baseball tickets burning a hole in your pocket? And now youve changed your vote because you say youre sick of all the talking here? Juror #7: Now listen buddy! Juror #11: Who tells you that you have the right like this to play with a mans life? Dont you care… Juror #7: Now wait a minute! You cant talk like that to me! Juror #11: I *can* talk like that to you! If you want to vote “not guilty” then do it because you are convinced the man is not guilty, not because youve had enough. And if you think he is guilty then vote that way! But dont you have the guts to do what you think is right? Juror #7: Now listen… Juror #11: Guilty or not guilty? Juror #7: I told ya! Not guilty! Juror #11: Why? Juror #7: …Look, I dont have tuh… Juror #11: You *do* have to! Say it! Why? Juror #7: Uhh… I dont uh… think hes guilty! Juror #11: [stares back with impatient resignation and finally sits down]

Juror #4: Ill take the testimony from right after the murder, when he couldnt remember a thing about the movies, great emotional stress or not. Juror #8: Id like to ask you a personal question. Juror #4: Go ahead. Juror #8: Where were you last night? Juror #4: I was home all night. Juror #8: How about the night before that? Juror #3: What is this? Juror #4: Its all right. I left the office at 8:30 and went straight home and to bed. Juror #8: And the night before that? Juror #4: That was… Tuesday night. The bridge tournament. I played bridge. Juror #8: Monday night? Juror #3: When you get to New Years Eve, 1954, let me know. Juror #4: Monday night? Monday night… my wife and I went to the movies. Juror #8: What did you see? Juror #4: “The Scarlet Circle”. A whodunit. Juror #8: What was the second feature? Juror #4: “The”… Ill tell you in a minute…”The… Remarkable Mrs.” something… “Bainbridge”. “The Remarkable Mrs. Bainbridge”. Juror #2: I saw that. Its called “The Amazing Mrs. Bainbridge”. Juror #4: Yes. “The Amazing Mrs. Bainbridge”. Juror #8: Who was in “The Amazing Mrs. Bainbridge”? Juror #4: Barbara… Long, I think it was. A dark, very pretty girl. Ling or… Long, something like that. Juror #8: Who else? Juror #4: Id never heard of them before. It was a very inexpensive second feature, with unknown… Juror #8: And you werent under an emotional stress, were you? Juror #4: [slowly, realizing] No. I wasnt.

Amon Goeth: They cast a spell on you, you know, the Jews. When you work closely with them, like I do, you see this. They have this power. Its like a virus. Some of my men are infected with this virus. They should be pitied, not punished. They should receive treatment because this is as real as typhus. I see it all the time. Its a matter of money? Hmm?

Amon Goeth: The truth, Helen, is always the right answer.

Itzhak Stern: How many cigarettes have you smoked tonight? Oskar Schindler: Too many. Itzhak Stern: For every one you smoke, I smoke half.

Amon Goeth: This is very cruel, Oskar. Youre giving them hope. You shouldnt do that. *Thats* cruel!

Itzhak Stern: This list… is an absolute good. The list is life. All around its margins lies the gulf.

Oskar Schindler: Stern, if this factory ever produces a shell that can actually be fired, Ill be very unhappy.

Amon Goeth: Today is history. Today will be remembered. Years from now the young will ask with wonder about this day. Today is history and you are part of it. Six hundred years ago when elsewhere they were footing the blame for the Black Death, Casimir the Great – so called – told the Jews they could come to Krakow. They came. They trundled their belongings into the city. They settled. They took hold. They prospered in business, science, education, the arts. With nothing they came and with nothing they flourished. For six centuries there has been a Jewish Krakow. By this evening those six centuries will be a rumor. They never happened. Today is history.

Reiter: Im a graduate of Civil Engineering from the University of Milan. Amon Goeth: Ah, an educated Jew… like Karl Marx himself. Unterscharfuehrer! Hujar: Jawohl? Amon Goeth: Shoot her. Reiter: Herr Kommandant! Im only trying to do my job! Amon Goeth: Ja, Im doing mine.

Oskar Schindler: Look, All you have to do is tell me what its worth to you. Whats a person worth to you? Amon Goeth: No, no, no, No. Whats one worth to you!

Amon Goeth: I would like so much to reach out to you and touch you in your loneliness. What would it be like, I wonder? What would be wrong with that? I realize that you are not a person in the strictest sense of the word, but, um, maybe youre right about that too. Maybe whats wrong, its not us, its this… I mean, when they compare you to vermin, to rodents and to lice. I just, uh, you make a good point. You make a very good point. Is this the face of a rat? Are these the eyes of a rat? “Hath not a Jew eyes?” I feel for you Helen. [leaning forward to kiss her] Amon Goeth: No, I dont think so. You Jewish bitch, you nearly talked me into it, didnt you?

Oskar Schindler: I could have got more out. I could have got more. I dont know. If Id just… I could have got more. Itzhak Stern: Oskar, there are eleven hundred people who are alive because of you. Look at them. Oskar Schindler: If Id made more money… I threw away so much money. You have no idea. If Id just… Itzhak Stern: There will be generations because of what you did. Oskar Schindler: I didnt do enough! Itzhak Stern: You did so much. [Schindler looks at his car] Oskar Schindler: This car. Goeth would have bought this car. Why did I keep the car? Ten people right there. Ten people. Ten more people. [removing Nazi pin from lapel] Oskar Schindler: This pin. Two people. This is gold. Two more people. He would have given me two for it, at least one. One more person. A person, Stern. For this. [sobbing] Oskar Schindler: I could have gotten one more person… and I didnt! And I… I didnt!

Itzhak Stern: Let me understand. They put up all the money. I do all the work. What, if you dont mind my asking, would you do? Oskar Schindler: Id make sure its known the companys in business. Id see that it had a certain panache. Thats what Im good at. Not the work, not the work… the presentation.

Amon Goeth: You want these people? Oskar Schindler: These people. My people. I want my people. Amon Goeth: Who are you? Moses?

Helen Hirsch: My first day here, he beat me because I threw out the bones from dinner. He came down at midnight and asked for them. And I asked him, I dont know how, I could never ask him now, I said, “Why are you beating me?” He said, “The reason I beat you now is because you ask why I beat you.” Oskar Schindler: I am sorry for your troubles, Helen. Helen Hirsch: I have accepted them. Oskar Schindler: Accepted them? Helen Hirsch: One day, he will shoot me. Oskar Schindler: No, he wont shoot you. Helen Hirsch: He will. I see things. We were on the roof on Monday, young Lisiek and I and we saw the Herr Kommandant come out of the house on the patio right there below us and he drew his gun and shot a woman who was passing by. Just a woman with a bundle, just shot her through the throat. She was just a woman on her way somewhere, she was no faster or slower or fatter or thinner than anyone else and I couldnt guess what had she done. The more you see of the Herr Kommandant the more you see there are no set rules you can live by, you cannot say to yourself, “If I follow these rules, I will be safe.” Oskar Schindler: He wont shoot you because he enjoys you too much. He enjoys you so much he wont even let you wear the star. He doesnt want anyone to know its a Jew hes enjoying. He shot the woman from the steps because she meant nothing to him. She was just one of a series neither offending him or pleasing him.

[Touching his reflection in a mirror] Amon Goeth: I pardon you.

Oskar Schindler: Power is when we have every justification to kill, and we dont. Amon Goeth: You think thats power? Oskar Schindler: Thats what the Emperor said. A man steals something, hes brought in before the Emperor, he throws himself down on the ground. He begs for his life, he knows hes going to die. And the Emperor… pardons him. This worthless man, he lets him go. Amon Goeth: I think you are drunk. Oskar Schindler: Thats power, Amon. That is power.

Amon Goeth: One of you is a very lucky girl. There is an opening for a job away from all this back-breaking work, in my new villa. Umm, which of you has domestic experience? Ja, on second thought, I dont really want someone elses maid. All those annoying habits Id have to undo.

Oskar Schindler: Ive been speaking to Goeth. Itzhak Stern: I know the destination. These are the evacuation orders, Im to help arrange the shipments, put myself on the last train. Oskar Schindler: Thats not what I was going to say. I made Goeth promise to put in a good word for you. Nothing bad is going to happen to you there, youll receive special treatment. Itzhak Stern: The directives coming in from Berlin talk about “special treatment” more and more often. Id like to think thats not what you mean. Oskar Schindler: Preferential treatment. All right? Do we have to create a new language? Itzhak Stern: I think so.

Oskar Schindler: I go to work the other day. Nobodys there. Nobody tells me about this, I have to find out. I have to go in… everybodys gone. Amon Goeth: No… no. Theyre not gone. Theyre here. Oskar Schindler: Theyre MINE! Every day that goes by Im losing money, every worker that is shot costs me money, I have to find somebody else, I have to train them. Amon Goeth: Dont be making so much money, none of this is going to matter. Oskar Schindler: Its bad business.

[Oskar Schindler has been arrested for kissing a Jewish girl] Julian Scherner: We give you a Jewish girl at five marks a day, Oskar. You should kiss us, not them. God forbid you ever get a real taste for Jewish skirt, theres no future in it. They dont have a future. Thats not just good old fashioned Jew hating talk. Its policy now.

Itzhak Stern: By law I have to tell you, sir, Im a Jew. Oskar Schindler: Well, Im a German, so there we are.

Itzhak Stern: Its Hebrew, its from the Talmud. It says, “Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.”

[to Stern, upon closing the factory deal] Oskar Schindler: My father was fond of saying you need three things in life – a good doctor, a forgiving priest, and a clever accountant. The first two, Ive never had much use for.

[Addressing his workers at the end of the war] Oskar Schindler: The unconditional surrender of Germany has just been announced. At midnight tonight, the war is over. Tomorrow youll begin the process of looking for survivors of your families. In most cases… you wont find them. After six long years of murder, victims are being mourned throughout the world. Weve survived. Many of you have come up to me and thanked me. Thank yourselves. Thank your fearless Stern, and others among you who worried about you and faced death at every moment. I am a member of the Nazi Party. Im a munitions manufacturer. Im a profiteer of slave labor. I am… a criminal. At midnight, youll be free and Ill be hunted. I shall remain with you until five minutes after midnight, after which time – and I hope youll forgive me – I have to flee. [He addresses the factorys SS guards] Oskar Schindler: I know you have received orders from our commandant, which he has received from his superiors, to dispose of the population of this camp. Now would be the time to do it. Here they are; theyre all here. This is your opportunity. Or, you could leave, and return to your families as men instead of murderers. [the guards gradually exit; he addresses the workers again] Oskar Schindler: In memory of the countless victims among your people, I ask us to observe three minutes of silence.

[Goethe admires Schindlers his suit] Amon Goeth: It has a nice sheen to it. What is it, silk? Oskar Schindler: Of course! Id say Id get you one but the man who made its probably dead.

Oskar Schindler: They wont soon forget the name “Oskar Schindler” around here. “Oskar Schindler,” theyll say, “everybody remembers him. He did something extraordinary. He did what no one else did. He came with nothing, a suitcase, and built a bankrupt company into a major manufactory. And left with a steamer trunk, two steamer trunks, of money. All the riches of the world.”

[first lines] [a Hebrew prayer is chanted, followed by a flashback to 1940s Poland] Krakow registrar: Name?

Amon Goeth: Oskar, theres a clerical error here at the bottom of the last page. Oskar Schindler: No, theres one more name I want to put there. Ill never find a maid as well trained as her at Brinnlitz. They are all country girls. Amon Goeth: [referring to Helen] No. No. Oskar Schindler: One hand of 21. If you win, I pay you 7400 Reichmarks. Hit a natural and I make it 14800. If I win, the girl goes on my list. Amon Goeth: I cant wager Helen in a card game. Oskar Schindler: Why not? Amon Goeth: Wouldnt be right. Oskar Schindler: Shes going to Auschwitz on Number Two anyway. What difference does it make? Amon Goeth: Shes not going to Auschwitz. Id never do that to her. No, I want her to come back to Vienna with me. I want her to come to work for me there. I want to grow old with her. Oskar Schindler: Are you mad? Amon, you cant take her to Vienna with you. Amon Goeth: No, of course I cant. Thats what Id like to do. What I can do, if Im any sort of a man is the next most merciful thing. I should take her into the woods and shoot her painlessly in the back of the head. Amon Goeth: What was it you said for a natural 21? Was it 14800?

[last title card] Title card: There are fewer than 4000 Jews left alive in Poland today. There are more than 6000 descendants of the Schindler Jews.

Amon Goeth: Scherner told me something else about you. Oskar Schindler: Yeah, whats that? Amon Goeth: That you know the meaning of the word gratitude. That its not some vague thing with you like it is with others. You want to stay where you are. Youve got things going on the side, things are good. You dont want anybody telling you what to do. I can understand all that. You know, I know you… What you want is your own sub-camp. Do you have any idea whats involved? The paperwork alone? Forget youve got to build the fucking thing, getting the fucking permits is enough to drive you crazy. Then the engineers show up. They stand around, they argue about drainage, foundations, codes, exact specifications, parallel fences four kilometers long, six thousand kilograms of electrified fences… Im telling you, youll want to shoot somebody. Ive been through it, you know, I know. Oskar Schindler: Well, you know, youve been through it. You could make things easier for me. Id be grateful.

Oskar Schindler: What are you doing? These are mine. These are my workers. They should be on my train. Theyre skilled ammunition workers. Theyre essential. Essential girls! [shows the guard Danka Dresners hand] Oskar Schindler: Their fingers polish the inside of shell metal casings. How else am I to polish the inside of a 45 millimeter shell casing? You tell me. You tell me!

Itzhak Stern: There will be generations because of what you did.

[watching the incineration of Jews bodies outside Krakow] Amon Goeth: Can you believe this? As if I dont have enough to do, they come up with this? I have to find every rag buried up here and burn it. The partys over, Oskar. Theyre closing us down, sending everybody to Auschwitz. Oskar Schindler: When? Amon Goeth: I dont know. As soon as I can arrange the shipments, maybe thirty, forty days. That ought to be fun.

[the morning after Schindler leaves Brinnlitz, a Russian officer finds the workers] Russian officer: You have been liberated by the Soviet army! Itzhak Stern: Have you been in Poland? Russian officer: I just came from Poland. Itzhak Stern: Are there any Jews left? Michael Lemper: Where should we go? Russian officer: Dont go east, thats for sure. They hate you there. I wouldnt go west either, if I were you. Chaim Nowak: We could use some food. Russian officer: Isnt that a town over there?

[Stern brings a report to Schindler at lunchtime] Oskar Schindler: I could try to read this, or I could eat my lunch while its still hot. Were doing well? Itzhak Stern: Yes. Oskar Schindler: Better this month than last? Itzhak Stern: Yes. Oskar Schindler: Any reason to think next month will be worse? Itzhak Stern: The war could end.

[after Schindler pulls him off a train bound for the work camps] Itzhak Stern: Somehow I left my work card at home. I tried to explain to them that it was a mistake, but… Im sorry. It was stupid! Oskar Schindler: What if I got here five minutes later? Then where would I be?

Mr. Lowenstein: I am an essential worker. First S.S. Guard: Essential worker! Mr. Lowenstein: Yes! I work for Oskar Schindler. First S.S. Guard: Essential worker for Oskar Schindler. Mr. Lowenstein: Yes! Second S.S. Guard: A one-armed Jew. Twice as useless.

Oskar Schindler: [to Emilie Schindler] No doorman or Maitre d will ever mistake you again. I promise.

[its a scorching hot day and the Jews are packed into the cattle cars] Oskar Schindler: What do you say we get your fire hoses out here and hose down the cars? Indulge me. Amon Goeth: Hujar. Albert Hujar: Yes sir? Amon Goeth: Bring the fire hoses. Albert Hujar: Wheres the fire? [Schindler and Goeth laugh]

Oskar Schindler: [Schindler and Stern are writing the list] How many? Itzhak Stern: 400, 450. Oskar Schindler: More. More.

Oskar Schindler: How are you doing Rabbi? Rabbi Menasha Lewartow: Good Herr Direktor. Oskar Schindler: The sun is going down. Rabbi Menasha Lewartow: Yes it is. Oskar Schindler: What day is it? Friday? It is Friday, isnt it? Rabbi Menasha Lewartow: Is it? Oskar Schindler: Whats the matter with you? You should be preparing for the Sabbath, shouldnt you. Ive got some wine in my office. Come.

Wilhelm Kunde: [Goeth is being driven round the Ghetto in an open top car] This street divides the ghetto just about in half. On the right, ghetto A, civil employees, industrial workers and so on. On the left, ghetto B, surplus labor, the elderly and infirm, mostly, which is where you will want to start. Any questions? Amon Goeth: Ja. Why is the top down? Im fucking freezing.

[the Ghetto is being "cleared out", with machine gun fire all around, two SS Guards stop and listen to a fellow Guard playing the piano] First S.S. Guard: Was ist das? Ist das Bach? Second S.S. Guard: Nein. First S.S. Guard: Ist das Bach? Second S.S. Guard: Nein. Mozart. First S.S. Guard: Mozart? Second S.S. Guard: Ja.

S.S. Guard: Occupation? Moses: I am a writer, I play the flute. Itzhak Stern: But Moses is also a skilled metal worker, he can make pots, he can make tanks, he can make whatever Mr Schindler asks.

Chaim Nowak: Not essential? I think you misunderstand the meaning of the word. I teach history and literature, since when its not essential?

Itzhak Stern: Im sorry, Herr Direktor, youre running very late. Here, this is for the Obersturmbahnführer and this is for his niece, its her birthday, Greta. Greta as in Garbo. Oskar Schindler: By the way, dont *ever* do that to me again. Didnt you notice that man only had one arm? Itzhak Stern: Did he. Oskar Schindler: Whats his use? [gets into his car] Itzhak Stern: Very useful. Oskar Schindler: [shouts from car window] How? Itzhak Stern: [shouts back] Very useful! Success!

Reiter: [about to be shot] It will take more than that. S.S. Guard: Im sure youre right. [shoots her]

[last lines] Amon Goeth: [about to be hanged] Heil Hitler.

Oskar Schindler: [addressing two unco-operative Nazi officers at the train station] Gentlemen, thank you very much. I think I can guarantee you- youll both be in Southern Russia before the end of the month. Good day.

Oskar Schindler: Why do you drink that motor oil? I send you good stuff all the time.

Oskar Schindler: Youd leave a lady alone at a table in a place like this? [to Agnieska] Oskar Schindler: Sweetheart, youre the picture of loneliness.

Wilhelm Kunde: Thats what they do. They weather the storm. But this storm is different, this storm is the SS.

Oskar Schindler: So the man can turn out a hinge in less than a minute, why the long story?

Emilie Schindler: I will only stay with you only if you promise, nobody will ever mistake anyone but me for Mrs. Oscar Schindler. Emilie Schindler: [Next shot she is going away on a train] Good-bye! Oskar Schindler: Good-bye!

Oskar Schindler: In every business I tried, I can see now, it wasnt me that failed. Something was missing. Even if Id known what it was, theres nothing I could have done about it because you cant create this thing. And it makes all the difference in the world between success and failure. Emilie Schindler: Luck? [Schindler kisses his wifes hand and smiles] Oskar Schindler: War.

Itzhak Stern: The standard SS rate for skilled Jewish workers is seven marks a day, five for unskilled and women. This is what you pay to the Reich Economic Office. The Jews themselves receive nothing. Poles you pay wages. Generally, they get a little more. Are you listening? Oskar Schindler: What was that about the SS? The rate? The what? Itzhak Stern: The Jewish workers salary – you pay it directly to the SS, not to the worker. He gets nothing. Oskar Schindler: But its less. Its less than what I would pay to a Pole. Itzhak Stern: Its less. Oskar Schindler: Thats the point Im trying to make. Poles cost more. Why should I hire Poles?

Amon Goeth: [after shooting Rieter in the head after she points out the instability of the barracks foundation] Tear it down. Rebuild it like she said. [Looks at an SS officer] Amon Goeth: Were not going to have arguments with these people.

Butch: Will you hand me a towel, tulip? Fabienne: Ah, I like that. I like tulip. Tulip is much better than mongoloid.

Marsellus: In the fifth, your ass goes down. Say it. Butch: In the fifth, my ass goes down.

Jules: You, flock of seagulls, you know why were here? Why dont you tell my man Vincent where you got the shit hid at? Marvin: Its over th… Jules: I dont remember askin you a Goddamn thing! You were saying? Roger: Its in the cupboard. [Vincent starts looking in the upper cupboard] Roger: No, no, the one by your kn-knees. Jules: We happy? [Vincent continues staring at the briefcases contents] Jules: Vincent! We happy? Vincent: Yeah, we happy. Brett: Im sorry, I didnt get your name. I got yours, Vincent, right? But I didnt get yours… Jules: My names Pitt. And your ass aint talkin your way out of this shit. Brett: No, no, I just want you to know… I just want you to know how sorry we are that things got so fucked up with us and Mr. Wallace. We got into this thing with the best intentions and I never… Jules: [Jules shoots the man on the couch] Im sorry, did I break your concentration? I didnt mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about best intentions. Whats the matter? Oh, you were finished! Well, allow me to retort. What does Marsellus Wallace look like? Brett: What? Jules: What country are you from? Brett: What? What? Wh – ? Jules: “What” aint no country Ive ever heard of. They speak English in What? Brett: What? Jules: English, motherfucker, do you speak it? Brett: Yes! Yes! Jules: Then you know what Im sayin! Brett: Yes! Jules: Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like! Brett: What? Jules: Say what again. Say what again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time!

Jules: Hey kids! How you boys doin? [to man laying on the couch] Jules: Hey, keep chillin. You know who we are? Were associates of your business partner Marsellus Wallace. You do remember your business partner dont you? Let me take a wild guess here. Youre Brett, right? Brett: Yeah. Jules: I thought so. You remember your business partner Marsellus Wallace, dont you, Brett? Brett: Yeah, yeah, I remember him. Jules: Good. Looks like me an Vincent caught you boys at breakfast. Sorry about that. Whatcha havin? Brett: Hamburgers. Jules: Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. What kind of hamburgers? Brett: Ch-cheeseburgers. Jules: No, no no, whered you get em? McDonalds? Wendys? Jack in the Box? Where? Brett: Big Kahuna Burger. Jules: Big Kahuna Burger. Thats that Hawaiian burger joint. I hear they got some tasty burgers. I aint never had one myself. How are they? Brett: Theyre good. Jules: Mind if I try one of yours? This is yours here, right? [Picks up burger and takes a bite] Jules: Mmm-mmmm. That is a tasty burger. Vincent, ever have a Big Kahuna Burger? [Vincent shakes his head] Jules: Wanna bite? Theyre real tasty. Vincent: Aint hungry. Jules: Well, if you like burgers give em a try sometime. I cant usually get em myself because my girlfriends a vegitarian which pretty much makes me a vegitarian. But I do love the taste of a good burger. Mm-mm-mm. You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France? Brett: No. Jules: Tell em, Vincent. Vincent: A Royale with cheese. Jules: A Royale with cheese! You know why they call it that? Brett: Because of the metric system? Jules: Check out the big brain on Brett! Youre a smart motherfucker. Thats right. The metric system. Whats in this? Brett: Sprite. Jules: Sprite, good. You mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down? Brett: Go right ahead. Jules: Ah, hit the spot.

Mia: I do believe Marsellus Wallace, my husband, your boss, told you to take ME out and do WHATEVER I WANTED. Now I wanna dance, I wanna win. I want that trophy, so dance good.

The Wolf: Thats thirty minutes away. Ill be there in ten.

Jules: Normally, both your asses would be dead as fucking fried chicken, but you happen to pull this shit while Im in a transitional period so I dont wanna kill you, I wanna help you. But I cant give you this case, it dont belong to me. Besides, Ive already been through too much shit this morning over this case to hand it over to your dumb ass.

[Jules, Vincent and Jimmie are drinking coffee in Jimmies kitchen] Jules: Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet shit! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Tasters Choice right, but he springs this serious GOURMET shit on us! What flavor is this? Jimmie: Knock it off, Julie. Jules: [pause] What? Jimmie: I dont need you to tell me how fucking good my coffee is, okay? Im the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys SHIT. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it. But you know whats on my mind right now? It AINT the coffee in my kitchen, its the dead nigger in my garage. Jules: Oh, Jimmie, dont even worry about that… Jimmie: [interupting] No, No, No, No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said “Dead Nigger Storage”? Jules: Jimmie, you know I aint seen no… Jimmie: [cutting him off again; getting angry] Did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said “Dead Nigger Storage”? Jules: [pause] No. I didnt. Jimmie: You know WHY you didnt see that sign? Jules: Why? Jimmie: Cause it aint there, cause storing dead niggers aint my fucking business, thats why!

Jules: Whether or not what we experienced was an According to Hoyle miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of God. God got involved.

Jules: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa… stop right there. Eatin a bitch out, and givin a bitch a foot massage aint even the same fuckin thing. Vincent: Its not. Its the same ballpark. Jules: Aint no fuckin ballpark neither. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but, you know, touchin his wifes feet, and stickin your tongue in her Holiest of Holies, aint the same fuckin ballpark, it aint the same league, it aint even the same fuckin sport. Look, foot massages dont mean shit. Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage? Jules: [scoffs] Dont be tellin me about foot massages. Im the foot fuckin master. Vincent: Given a lot of em? Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I dont be ticklin or nothin. Vincent: Would you give a guy a foot massage? [Jules gives Vincent a long look, realizing hes been set up] Jules: Fuck you. Vincent: You give them a lot? Jules: Fuck you. Vincent: You know, Im getting kinda tired. I could use a foot massage myself. Jules: Man, you best back off, Im gittin a little pissed here.

Jimmie: Im gonna get fuckin divorced. No marriage counselling, no trial separation, Im gonna get fuckin divorced.

Honey Bunny: [about to rob a diner] I love you, Pumpkin. Pumpkin: I love you, Honey Bunny. Pumpkin: [Standing up with a gun] All right, everybody be cool, this is a robbery! Honey Bunny: Any of you fucking pricks move, and Ill execute every motherfucking last one of ya!

Jules: Well, the way they make shows is, they make one show. That shows called a pilot. Then they show that show to the people who make shows, and on the strength of that one show they decide if theyre going to make more shows. Some pilots get picked and become television programs. Some dont, become nothing. She starred in one of the ones that became nothing.

The Wolf: Youre… Jimmie, right? This is your house? Jimmie: Sure is. The Wolf: Im Winston Wolfe. I solve problems. Jimmie: Good, we got one. The Wolf: So I heard. May I come in? Jimmie: Uh, yeah, please do.

Paul: So, I hear youre taking Mia out. Vincent: At Marselluss request. Paul: You met Mia yet? Vincent: No. [Jules and Paul laugh] Vincent: Whats so fucking funny? Jules: I gotta piss. [exits] Vincent: Look, Im not stupid. Its the Big Mans wife. Im gonna sit across from her, chew my food with my mouth closed, laugh at her fucking jokes, and thats it.

Marsellus: You see, this profession is filled to the brim with unrealistic motherfuckers. Motherfuckers who thought their ass would age like wine. If you mean it turns to vinegar, it does. If you mean it gets better with age, it dont.

Butch: [beating up Marsellus] You feel that sting, big boy, huh? Thats pride FUCKIN with you! You gotta fight through that shit!

Pumpkin: The way it is now, youre taking the same risk as when you rob a bank. You take more of a risk, banks are easier. You dont even need a gun in a federal bank. I mean, theyre insured, why should they give a fuck? I heard of this one guy, walks into a bank with a portable phone. He gives the phone to the teller, a guy on the other end of the line says, weve got this guys little girl, if you dont give him all your money, were gonna kill her. Yolanda: Did it work? Pumpkin: Fucking-A right, it worked. Thats what Im saying. Knucklehead walks into a bank with a telephone! Not a pistol, not a shotgun, but a fucking phone. Cleans the place out, doesnt even lift a fucking finger. Yolanda: Did they hurt the little girl? Pumpkin: I dont know, there probably never was a little girl in the first place. The point of the story isnt the little girl, the point of the story is, they robbed a bank with a telephone.

Yolanda: You want to rob banks? Pumpkin: Im not saying I want to rob banks, Im just illustrating that if we did, itd be easier than what weve been doing. Yolanda: No more liquor stores? Pumpkin: What have we been talking about? Yeah, no more liquor stores. Besides, it aint the giggle it used to be. Too many foreigners own liquor stores these days. Vietnamese, Koreans, they dont even speak fucking English. You tell them, empty out the register, they dont know what the fuck youre talking about. They make it too personal, one of these gook fuckers is gonna make us kill him. Yolanda: Im not gonna kill anybody. Pumpkin: I dont want to kill anybody either. But theyll probably put us in a situation where its us or them. And if its not the gooks, its these old fucking Jews whove owned the store for fifteen fucking generations, youve got Grampa Irving sitting behind the counter with a fucking Magnum in his hand. Try walking into one of those places with nothing but a phone, see how far you get.

Yolanda: This place? A coffee shop? Pumpkin: Why not? Nobody ever robs restaurants. Bars, liquor stores, gas stations… you get your head blown off sticking up one of them. Restaurants on the other hand, you catch with their pants down. Theyre not expecting to get robbed. Not as expectant anyway. Yolanda: I bet you could cut down on the hero factor in a place like this. Pumpkin: Right, just like banks, these places are insured. Manager? He dont give a fuck. He just wants to get you out the door before you start plugging the diners. Waitresses? Fucking forget it! No way theyre taking a bullet for the register. Busboys? Some wetback getting paid a dollar-fifty an hour, really give a fuck youre stealing from the owner? See, I got the idea, last liquor store we held up, all the customers kept coming in? Yolanda: Yeah. Pumpkin: And you got the idea of taking their wallets. Now that was a good idea. Yolanda: Thank you. Pumpkin: Made more from the wallets than we did from the register. Yolanda: Yes, we did. Pumpkin: A lot of customers come into a restaurant. Yolanda: A lot of wallets. Pumpkin: Pretty smart, eh? Yolanda: Pretty smart.

Jody: [after Mia survives an overdose from an adrenaline injection] That was pretty fucking trippy… [laughs]

The Wolf: You must be Jules, which would make you Vincent. Lets get down to brass tacks, gentlemen. If I was informed correctly, the clock is ticking, is that right, Jimmie? Jimmie: Uh, one hundred percent. The Wolf: Your wife… Bonnie comes home at 9:30 in the AM, is that right? Jimmie: Uh-huh. The Wolf: I was led to believe that if she comes home and finds us here, shed wouldnt appreciate it none too much? Jimmie: [laughing] She wouldnt at that. The Wolf: That gives us exactly… forty minutes to get the fuck out of Dodge. Which, if you do what I say when I say it, should be plenty. Now, youve got a corpse in a car, minus a head, in a garage. Take me to it.

The Wolf: Now boys, listen up. Were going to a place called Monster Joes Truck and Tow. Ill drive the tainted car. Jules, you ride with me. Vincent, you follow in my Acura. We run across the path of any John Q. Laws, nobody does a fucking thing unless I do it first. What did I just say? Jules: Dont do shit unless. The Wolf: Unless what? Jules: Unless you do it first. The Wolf: Spoken like a true prodigy. How about you, Lash LaRue? You think you can keep your spurs from jinglin and janglin? Vincent: Look, Mr. Wolf, my gun went off, I dont know why, and now youre helping us out of the situation. Im cool with it, all right? The Wolf: Fair enough. Now I drive real fucking fast, so keep up. I get my car back any differently than when I gave it, Monster Joes gonna be disposing of two bodies.

Jules: We should have shotguns for this kind of deal. Vincent: How many up there? Jules: Three or four. Vincent: Thats countin our guy? Jules: Not sure. Vincent: So that means there could be up to five guys up there? Jules: Its possible. Vincent: We should have fuckin shotguns.

[after Butch saves Marsellus from rapists] Butch: You okay? Marsellus: Naw man. Im pretty fuckin far from okay. Butch: What now? Marsellus: What now? Let me tell you what now. Ima call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin niggers, wholl go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin, hillbilly boy? I aint through with you by a damn sight. Ima get medieval on your ass. Butch: I meant what now between me and you? Marsellus: Oh, that what now. I tell you what now between me and you. There is no me and you. Not no more.

Pumpkin: Garçon! Coffee! [the waitress approaches the table and refills Pumpkins cup] Waitress: Garçon means boy.

Jules: Now Yolanda, were not gonna do anything stupid, are we? Yolanda: You dont hurt him. Jules: Nobodys gonna hurt anybody. Were gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And whats Fonzie like? Come on Yolanda whats Fonzie like? Yolanda: Cool? Jules: What? Yolanda: Hes cool. Jules: Correctamundo. And thats what were gonna be. Were gonna be cool. Now Ringo, Im gonna count to three, and when I count three, you let go of your gun, and sit your ass down. But when you do it, you do it cool. Ready? One… two… three. [Ringo sits down opposite Jules] Yolanda: All right, now you let him go. Jules: Yolanda, I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now when you yell at me, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get scared. And when motherfuckers get scared, thats when motherfuckers accidentally get shot. Yolanda: You just know, you touch him, you die. Jules: Well, that seems to be the situation. But I dont want that. And you dont want that. And Ringo here *definitely* doesnt want that.

Man #4: [Burst out of the bathroom with his gun] Die you motherfuckers! [He empties his entire gun, hitting nothing but air]

Jules: Look, just because I dont be givin no man a foot massage dont make it right for Marsellus to throw Antwone into a glass motherfuckin house, fuckin up the way the nigger talks. Motherfucker do that shit to me, he better paralyze my ass, cause Ill kill the motherfucker, know what Im sayin? Vincent: I aint saying its right. But youre saying a foot massage dont mean nothing, and Im saying it does. Now look, Ive given a million ladies a million foot massages, and they all meant something. We act like they dont, but they do, and thats whats so fucking cool about them. Theres a sensuous thing going on where you dont talk about it, but you know it, she knows it, fucking Marsellus knew it, and Antwone should have fucking better known better. I mean, thats his fucking wife, man. He cant be expected to have a sense of humor about that shit. You know what Im saying? Jules: Thats an interesting point. Come on, lets get into character.

Marsellus: [right before Butch purposely runs into him with a car] Motherfucker.

Vincent: Want some bacon? Jules: No man, I dont eat pork. Vincent: Are you Jewish? Jules: Nah, I aint Jewish, I just dont dig on swine, thats all. Vincent: Why not? Jules: Pigs are filthy animals. I dont eat filthy animals. Vincent: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood. Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but Id never know cause I wouldnt eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in shit. Thats a filthy animal. I aint eat nothin that aint got sense enough to disregard its own feces. Vincent: How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces. Jules: I dont eat dog either. Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal? Jules: I wouldnt go so far as to call a dog filthy but theyre definitely dirty. But, a dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true? Jules: Well wed have to be talkin about one charming motherfuckin pig. I mean hed have to be ten times more charmin than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what Im sayin?

Jules: [Vincent and Jules are cleaning the inside of the car which is covered in blood] Oh, man, I will never forgive your ass for this shit. This is some fucked-up repugnant shit. Vincent: Jules, did you ever hear the philosophy that once a man admits that hes wrong that he is immediately forgiven for all wrongdoings? Have you ever heard that? Jules: Get the fuck out my face with that shit! The motherfucker that said that shit never had to pick up itty-bitty pieces of skull on account of your dumb ass. Vincent: I got a threshold, Jules. I got a threshold for the abuse that I will take. Now, right now, Im a fuckin race car, right, and you got me the red. And Im just sayin, Im just sayin that its fuckin dangerous to have a race car in the fuckin red. Thats all. I could blow. Jules: Oh! Oh! You ready to blow? Vincent: Yeah, Im ready to blow. Jules: Well, Im a mushroom-cloud-layin motherfucker, motherfucker! Every time my fingers touch brain, Im Superfly T.N.T., Im the Guns of the Navarone! IN FACT, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOIN IN THE BACK? YOURE THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO SHOULD BE ON BRAIN DETAIL! Were fuckin switchin! Im washin the windows, and youre pickin up this niggers skull!

Lance: [answering the phone] Hello. Vincent: Lance! Its Vincent. Im in big fuckin trouble, man. Im coming to your house. Lance: Whoa. Whoa. Hold your horses, man. Whats the problem? Vincent: Ive got this chick, she fuckin O.D.in on me! Lance: Well, dont bring her here! Im not even fuckin joking with you, man! Do not be bringing some fucked-up pooh-bah to my house! Vincent: No choice. Lance: Shes O.D.in? Vincent: Shes fuckin dyin on me, man! Lance: Okay, then you bite the fuckin bullet, take her to a hospital and call a lawyer. Vincent: Negative. Lance: This is not my fuckin problem, man! You fucked her up, you fuckin deal with this!

Jody: [seeing Mia on the floor] Whos she? Lance: Look, go to the fridge and get the thing with the O.D. adrenalin shot. Jody: Whats wrong with her? Vincent: Shes O.D.ing! Jody: Get her the hell outta her! Lance, Vincent: GET THE SHOT! Jody: Fuck you! Fuck you, too! Vincent: What a fuckin bitch! Lance: You just keep talking to her, all right? Shes getting the shot, Im gonna get my little black medical book. Vincent: What the fuck do you need a medical book for? Lance: Ive never had to give an adrenalin shot. Vincent: You never give an adrenalin shot? Lance: Ive never had to, all right! I dont go joy-poppin with bubble-gummers! My friends can handle their highs! Vincent: GET THE SHOT!

Vincent: [Lance is looking for a medical book] Hurry up, Lance! Were losing her! Lance: Im lookin as fast as I can! Jody: [to Vincent] Whats he looking for? Vincent: I dunno. Some book. Jody: [to Lance] Whatre you looking for? Lance: A little black medical book! Jody: Whatre you looking for? Lance: A little black fuckin medical book! Its like a textbook they give to nurses. Jody: I never saw no medical book. Lance: Trust me, I have one. Jody: Well, if its so important, why dont you keep it with the shot? Lance: I DONT KNOW! STOP BOTHERING ME! Jody: Listen, while youre looking for it, that girls gonna die on our carpet! Youre never gonna find anything in this mess! Lance: Im gonna fuckin kill you IF YOU DONT SHUT UP! Vincent: [from the other room] STOP ARGUING AND GET IN HERE!

Vincent: [to Marvin] Why the fuck didnt you tell us somebody was in the bathroom? Slipped your mind? Did you forget that somebody was in there with a goddamn hand cannon?

[Jules shoots the guy on the couch during Bretts interrogation] Jules: Oh, Im sorry, did I break your concentration?

Butch: So we cool? Marsellus: Yeah, we cool. Two things. Dont tell nobody about this. This shit is between me, you, and Mr. Soon-To-Be-Living-The-Rest-of-His-Short-Ass-Life-In-Agonizing-Pain Rapist here. It aint nobody elses business. Two: you leave town tonight, right now. And when youre gone, you stay gone, or you be gone. You lost all your L.A. privileges. Deal? Butch: Deal. Marsellus: Get your ass out of here.

Vincent: Thats a pretty fucking good milkshake. I dont know if its worth five dollars but its pretty fucking good.

[Marsellus is telling Butch to take a dive] Marsellus: The night of the fight, you may feel a slight sting. Thats pride fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps.

Jules: The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brothers keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee.

[Vincent goes up to Butch at the bar] Butch: Starin at something, friend? Vincent: I aint your friend, palooka. Butch: What did you say? Vincent: I think you heard me just fine, punchy.

Mia: Dont you hate that? Vincent: What? Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel its necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable? Vincent: I dont know. Thats a good question. Mia: Thats when you know youve found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

Lance: Youre going to give her an injection of adrenaline directly to her heart. But shes got, uh, breastplate… [taps Mias chest] Lance: So you gotta pierce through that. So what you have to do is, you have to bring the needle down in a stabbing motion. [demonstrates] Vincent: I-I gotta stab her three times? Lance: No, you dont gotta fucking stab her three times! You gotta stab her once, but its gotta be hard enough to break through her breastplate into her heart, and then once you do that, you press down on the plunger. Vincent: What happens after that? Lance: Im kinda curious about that myself…

Marsellus: Im prepared to scour the the Earth for that motherfucker. If Butch goes to Indochina, I want a nigger waiting in a bowl of rice ready to pop a cap in his ass.

Butch: I think I cracked a rib. Fabienne: Giving me oral pleasure? Butch: No, retard, from the fight.

Fabienne: Whose motorcycle is this? Butch: Its a chopper, baby. Fabienne: Whose chopper is this? Butch: Its Zeds. Fabienne: Whos Zed? Butch: Zeds dead, baby. Zeds dead.

Captain Koons: The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. Hed be damned if any slopes gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boys birthright, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.

Esmeralda: What is your name? Butch: Butch. Esmeralda: What does it mean? Butch: Im American, honey. Our names dont mean shit.

[Jules and Vincent take Marvin with them in their car and Vincents gun goes off and blows Marvins head off] Vincent: Whoa! Jules: What the fucks happening, man? Ah, shit man! Vincent: Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face. Jules: Why the fuck did you do that! Vincent: Well, I didnt mean to do it, it was an accident! Jules: Oh man Ive seen some crazy ass shit in my time… Vincent: Chill out, man. I told you it was an accident. You probably went over a bump or something. Jules: Hey, the car didnt hit no motherfucking bump! Vincent: Hey, look man, I didnt mean to shoot the son of a bitch. The gun went off. I dont know why. Jules: Well look at this fucking mess, man. Were on a city street in broad daylight here! Vincent: I dont believe it. Jules: Well believe it now, motherfucker! We gotta get this car off the road! You know cops tend to notice shit like youre driving a car drenched in fucking blood. Vincent: Just take it to a friendly place, thats all. Jules: This in the Valley, Vincent. Marsellus aint got no friendly places in the Valley. Vincent: Well Jules, this aint my fucking town, man! Jules: Shit! [Jules dials a number on his cell phone] Vincent: What you doin? Jules: Im calling Jimmie, my old partner. He lives in Toluca Lake. Vincent: Wheres Toluca Lake? Jules: Its just over the hill here over by Burbank Studios. If Jimmies ass aint home, I dont know what the fuck were going to do, man. Cause I aint got no other partners in 8-1-8. [into the phone] Jules: Hey Jimmie, yo! How you doin, man? Its Jules. Listen up man. Me and my homeboy are in serious fucking shit. Were in a car and we gotta get off the road, pronto. I need to use your garage for a couple of hours.

Vincent: Thank you. Mind if I shoot it up here? Lance: Hey, mi casa su casa.

Lance: Are you calling me on the cellular phone? I dont know you. Who is this? Dont come here, Im hanging up the phone! Prank caller, prank caller!

Jules: I dont wanna hear about no motherfuckin ifs. All I wanna hear from your ass is, You aint got no problem, Jules. Im on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggers out and wait for the calvary which should be coming directly. Marsellus: You aint got no problem, Jules. Im on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggers out and wait for the Wolf who should be coming directly.

The Wolf: Jimmie, lead the way. Boys, get to work. Vincent: A please would be nice. The Wolf: Come again? Vincent: I said a please would be nice. The Wolf: Get it straight buster – Im not here to say please, Im here to tell you what to do and if self-preservation is an instinct you possess youd better fucking do it and do it quick. Im here to help – if my helps not appreciated then lotsa luck, gentlemen. Jules: No, Mr. Wolf, it aint like that, your help is definitely appreciated. Vincent: I dont mean any disrespect, I just dont like people barking orders at me. The Wolf: If Im curt with you its because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast and I need you guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So, pretty please… with sugar on top. Clean the fucking car.

Jimmie: I cant believe this is the same car. The Wolf: Well, lets not start sucking each others dicks quite yet.

Vincent: Jules, if you give that fuckin nimrod fifteen hundred dollars, Im gonna shoot him on general principles.

Jules: I want you to go in that bag, and find my wallet. Pumpkin: Which one is it? Jules: Its the one that says Bad Motherfucker

Jules: Im not giving you that money. Im buying something from you. Wanna know what Im buyin Ringo? Pumpkin: What? Jules: Your life. Im givin you that money so I dont have to kill your ass. You read the Bible? Pumpkin: Not regularly. Jules: Theres a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brothers keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you.” Now… I been sayin that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, that meant your ass. Youd be dead right now. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin made me think twice. See, now Im thinking: maybe it means youre the evil man. And Im the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here… hes the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean youre the righteous man and Im the shepherd and its the world thats evil and selfish. And Id like that. But that shit aint the truth. The truth is youre the weak. And Im the tyranny of evil men. But Im tryin, Ringo. Im tryin real hard to be the shepherd.

[cleaning their bloody hands] Jules: Fuck, nigga, what the fuck did you do to his towel? Vincent: I was dryin my hands. Jules: Youre supposed to wash em first! Vincent: You watched me wash em. Jules: I watched you get em wet. Vincent: I was washing em. But this shits hard to get off. Maybe if I had Lava or something, I coulda done a better job. Jules: I used the same fuckin soap you did and when I got finished, the towel didnt look like no goddamn Maxi-Pad!

Mia: [after snorting coke] I said God Damn! God Damn… [whispering] Mia: … God damn…

Jules: If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.

The Wolf: You guys look like… What do they look like, Jimmie? Jimmie: Dorks. They look like a couple of dorks. Jules: Ha-ha-ha. Theyre your clothes, motherfucker.

Lance: [handing Vincent the needle] Here, Ill tell you what to do. Vincent: No no no no man, man I aint giving her… You… you, youre gonna give her the shot… Lance: No, youre gonna give her the shot… Vincent: I aint givin her the shot… Lance: Well, I aint givin her the shot! Vincent: I never done this before! Lance: Yeah, I aint ever done it before either, alright? I aint starting now! Look, you brought her here, and that means that youre giving her the shot. The day that I bring an OD-ing bitch over to your house, then I give her the shot. Give her the shot. Vincent: [taking the needle] Give it to me. Jody: [handing him the marker] Here. Vincent: [Taking the marker] Gimme that.

The Wolf: You see that, young lady? Respect. Respect for ones elders gives character. Raquel: I have character. The Wolf: Just because you are a character doesnt mean that you have character.

Butch: Thats how youre gonna beat em, Butch. They keep underestimating you.

Zed: Bring out the Gimp. Maynard: Gimps sleeping. Zed: Well, I guess youre gonna have to go wake him up now, wont you?

Jules: This was Divine Intervention! You know what “divine intervention” is? Vincent: Yeah, I think so. That means God came down from Heaven and stopped the bullets. Jules: Yeah, man, thats what it means. Thats exactly what it means! God came down from Heaven and stopped the bullets. Vincent: I think we should be going now. Jules: Dont do that! Dont you fucking do that! Dont blow this shit off! What just happened was a fucking miracle! Vincent: Chill the fuck out, Jules, this shit happens. Jules: Wrong! Wrong, this shit doesnt just happen. Vincent: Do you wanna continue this theological discussion in the car, or at the jailhouse with the cops? Jules: We should be fuckin dead now, my friend! We just witnessed a miracle, and I want you to fucking acknowledge it! Vincent: Okay man, it was a miracle, can we leave now?

Jules: Hey, thats Kool and the Gang.

Fabienne: Wheres my Honda? Butch: Sorry, baby, but I had to crash that Honda.

Jules: You remember Antoine Roccamora, half black, half Samoan, used to call him Tony Rocky Horror? Vincent: Yeah, maybe. Fat, right? Jules: I wouldnt go so far as to call the brother fat, I mean he got a weight problem. Whats the nigger gonna do? Hes Samoan.

Esmeralda: So what does it feel like to kill a man with your bare hands? Its a topic Im very interested in.

Trudi: You know how they use that gun to pierce your ears? They dont use that when they pierce your nipples, do they? Jody: Forget that gun. That gun goes against the entire idea behind piercing. All of my piercings, sixteen places on my body, all of them done with a needle. Five in each ear, one through the nipple on my left breast, one through my right nostril, one through my left eyebrow, one in my lip, one in my clit… and I wear a stud in my tongue. Vincent: Excuse me, but I was just wondering… why do you wear a stud in your tongue? Jody: Its a sex thing. It helps fellatio. Lance: Don Vincenzo. Step into my office?

Lance: You are not bringing this fucked-up bitch into my house! Vincent: This fucked-up bitch is Marsellus Wallaces wife! Do you know who Marsellus Wallace is? Do you? If she croaks on me, Im a fuckin greasespot!

Butch: Did you bring the watch? Fabienne: I believe so. Butch: You believe so? You “believe” so? What the fuck does that mean? You either did, or you didnt! Fabienne: Then I did. Butch: Are you sure? Fabienne: [shakes her head] No… [a pause] Butch: [explodes into a rampage] Fuck! Motherfucking shit! Do you fucking know how fucking stupid you are? Shit! Fuck! [he calms down just as quickly and suddenly as he started] Butch: Its not your fault.

Paul: Hey, my names Paul and this shits between yall.

Lance: If youre all right, then say something. Mia: Something.

The Wolf: Strip. Jules: All the way? The Wolf: To your bare ass. Vincent: Is this necessary? The Wolf: Yes. You know what you guys look like? Jules: What? The Wolf: Like a couple of guys who just blew off somebodys head! [to Jimmie] The Wolf: Now Jimmie, hand them the soap. [Jimmie gives Jules and Vincent each a bar of soap] The Wolf: Well, now Im sure youve all been to county. [sprays them both with hose]

Jules: You know the shows on TV? Vincent: I dont watch TV. Jules: Yeah, but, you are aware that theres an invention called television, and on this invention they show shows, right?

Butch: Wheres my watch? Fabienne: Its there. Butch: No its not. Fabienne: It should be. Butch: Yes, it most definitely should be but its not here now, so where the fuck is it?

[after Brett tells Jules that hes eating a hamburger] Jules: Hamburgers. The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast.

Vincent: Remember, I just got back from Amsterdam. Lance: Am I a nigger? Are we in Inglewood? No… Youre in my home. White people who know the difference between good shit and bad shit, this is the house they come to. Now, my shit, Ill take the Pepsi challenge with that Amsterdam shit, any day of the fuckin week. Vincent: Thats a bold statement. Lance: This aint Amsterdam, Vince. This is a sellers market. Coke is fucking dead as… dead. Heroin, its coming back in a big fucking way.

Mia: I have to go powder my nose.

The Wolf: Maybe I can give you guys a ride. Where do you live? Vincent: Redondo Beach. Jules: Inglewood. The Wolf: Its your future… I see a cab ride. Move out of the sticks, gentlemen.

Mia: Dont you just love it when you come back from the bathroom and find your food waiting for you? Vincent: Were lucky we got anything at all. I dont think Buddy Hollys much of a waiter.

Jules: Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France? Brett: No. Jules: Tell him, Vincent. Vincent: Royale with cheese. Jules: Royale with cheese. Do you know why they call it a Royale with cheese? Brett: Because of the metric system? Jules: Check out the big brain on Brett. You one smart motherfucker.

Butch: How was your breakfast? Fabienne: It was good… Butch: Did you get the pancakes, the blueberry pancakes? Fabienne: No, no, they didnt have blueberry pancakes, I had to get buttermilk – are you sure youre okay? Butch: Honey, since I left you, this has been without a doubt the single weirdest fucking day of my life! Come on, hop on – Ill tell you all about it.

Jules: Uuummmm, this is a tasty burger!

Jules: Mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down with?

Vincent: Ill have the Douglas Sirk steak, and a vanilla Coke. Buddy Holly: How would you like that? Burnt to a crisp or bloody as hell? Vincent: Bloody as hell.

Lance: Hey, whattya think about Trudi? She aint got a boyfriend. You wanna hang out, get high? Vincent: Which ones Trudi? The one with all the shit in her face? Lance: No, thats Jody. Thats my wife.

Lance: Still got your Malibu? Vincent: Aw, man. You know what some fucker did the other day? Lance: What? Vincent: Fucking keyed it. Lance: Oh, man, thats fucked up. Vincent: Tell me about it. I had it in storage for three years, it was out for five days and some dickless piece of shit fucked with it. Lance: They should be fucking killed. No trial, no jury, straight to execution. Vincent: Boy, I wish I couldve caught him doing it. Id have given anything to catch that asshole doing it. Itd been worth him doing it just so I couldve caught him doing it. Lance: What a fucker! Vincent: Whats more chickenshit than fucking with a mans automobile? I mean, dont fuck with another mans vehicle. Lance: You dont do it. Vincent: Its just against the rules.

Mia: Ill be there in three shakes of a lambs tail.

Vincent: Now, if youll excuse me, Im going to go home and have a heart attack.

Mia: Vincent, do you still want to hear my Fox Force Five joke? Vincent: Sure, but I think Im still a little too petrified to laugh. Mia: No, you wont laugh, cus its not funny. But if you still wanna hear it, Ill tell it. Vincent: I cant wait. Mia: Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him… and says, Catch up.

Butch: Ill be back before you can say Blueberry pie. Fabienne: Blueberry pie. Butch: Okay, maybe not that fast. But pretty fast, alright?

Jules: My names Pitt, and your ass aint talkin your way outta this shit.

Jules: [to Vince, after Vince thought the Wolf would be British] Hes about as English as English fuckin Bob.

Vincent: Get her the shot! Lance: I will if you let me. Vincent: I aint fuckin stopping you! Lance: Well, then quit talking to me, talk to her. Vincent: Get the shot!

[first lines] Pumpkin: Forget it. Too risky. Im through doing that shit. Yolanda: You always say that. That same thing every time, “Im through, never again, too dangerous”. Pumpkin: I know thats what I always say. Im always right, too. Yolanda: But you forget about it in a day or two. Pumpkin: Yeah, well the days of me forgetting are over, and the days of me remembering have just begun.

[last lines] Vincent: I think we should be leaving now. Jules: Yeah, thats probably a good idea.

Jules: Ill just walk the earth. Vincent: Whatcha mean walk the earth? Jules: You know, walk the earth, meet people… get into adventures. Like Caine from “Kung Fu.”

Fabienne: I was looking at myself in the mirror. Butch: Uh-huh? Fabienne: I wish I had a pot. Butch: You were lookin in the mirror and you wish you had some pot? Fabienne: A pot. A pot belly. Pot bellies are sexy. Butch: Well you should be happy, cause you do. Fabienne: Shut up, Fatso! I dont have a pot! I have a bit of a tummy, like Madonna when she did “Lucky Star,” its not the same thing. Butch: I didnt realize there was a difference between a tummy and a pot belly. Fabienne: The difference is huge. Butch: You want me to have a pot? Fabienne: No. Pot bellies make a man look either oafish, or like a gorilla. But on a woman, a pot belly is very sexy. The rest of you is normal. Normal face, normal legs, normal hips, normal ass, but with a big, perfectly round pot belly. If I had one, Id wear a tee-shirt two sizes too small to accentuate it. Butch: You think guys would find that attractive? Fabienne: I dont give a damn what men find attractive. Its unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same.

Butch: [driving back to his apartment after Fabienne forgot to get his watch] [shouts] Butch: Shit! Of all the fucking things she could forget, she forgets my fathers watch! [normal voice] Butch: I specifically reminded her – bedside table! On the Kangaroo! I said the words, “Dont forget my fathers watch.”

Jules: Bitch, be cool!

Jules: Look, do you wanna play blindman? Go walk with the shepherd. But me, my eyes are wide fucking open. Vincent: What the fuck does that mean? Jules: It means, thats it for me. From here on in you can consider my ass retired. Vincent: Jesus Christ. Jules: Dont blaspheme. Vincent: Goddamn. Jules: I said dont do that!

[after Mia has her overdose] Vincent: Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, fuck me! Fuck me!

Vincent: Thats the Marilyn Monroe section thats Mamie Van Doren… I dont see Jayne Mansfield, she must have the night off or something.

The Wolf: [after the row between Jules and Jimmy over the quality of his coffee, The Wolf tries some, he looks impressed, looks at Jimmy and says] Mmm.

Maynard: Nobody kills anyone in my store except me and Zed. [doorbell rings] Maynard: Thats Zed.

Vincent: You know what they put on French fries in Holland instead of ketchup? Jules: What? Vincent: Mayonnaise. Jules: Goddamn. Vincent: Ive seen em do it, man. They fuckin drown em in that shit.

Jules: Shut the fuck up, fat man!

Jules: Yolanda? How we doin, baby? Yolanda: I gotta go pee! I want to go home. Jules: Just hang in there, baby. Youre doing great. Ringos proud of you and so am I. Its almost over. Tell her youre proud of her. Pumpkin: Im proud of you, Honey Bunny. Yolanda: I love you! Pumpkin: I love you too, Honey Bunny.

Jules: So, tell me again about the hashbars? Vincent: Okay, what you wanna know? Jules: Hash is legal there in Amsterdam, right? Vincent: Yeah, its legal, but it aint a hundred percent legal. I mean, you cant just walk into a restaurant, roll a joint and start puffing away. Youre only supposed to smoke in your home or certain designated places. Jules: And those are hashbars? Vincent: Yeah. It breaks down like this: its legal to buy it, its legal to own it, and, if youre the proprietor of a hash bar, its legal to sell it. Its still illegal to carry it around, but that doesnt really matter cause… get a load of this: if you get stopped by the cops in Amsterdam, its illegal for them to search you. I mean, thats a right the cops in Amsterdam dont have. Jules: [laughing] Im going, thats all there is to it, Im fuckin going. Vincent: Yeah baby, youd dig it the most.

[first title card] Title Card: pulp /p&lp/ n. 1. A soft, moist, shapeless mass of matter. Title Card: 2. A magazine or book containing lurid subject matter and being characteristically printed on rough, unfinished paper. Title Card: American Heritage Dictionary Title Card: New College Edition

Pumpkin: Mexicans out the fucking kitchen!

Jules: Shit Negro! Thats all you had to say!

Vincent: [parks car outside a West Hollywood restaurant] What the fuck is this place? Mia: This is “Jack Rabbit Slims”. An Elvis man should love it. Vincent: Come on, Mia. Lets go and get a steak. Mia: You can get a steak here daddy-o. Dont be a… [Mia draws a rectangle in the air, though its meant to be a "square"] Vincent: Oh after you, Kitty Kat.

Vincent: Oh man. I shot Marvin in the face.

Jules: That bitch better chill out! Pumpkin: Honey Bunny! Jules: Tell that bitch to chill out! Pumpkin: Chill out Honey Bunny! Jules: Say “Chill out, bitch!” Pumpkin: *CHILL OUT HONEY BUNNY!*

Jody: Lance! The goddamn phones ringing! Lance: [getting up to answer the phone] I can hear it. Jody: I thought you told those fucking assholes never to call here this late! Lance: Yeah, I told them. And that is exactly what Im going to tell this fucking asshole, right now.

Vincent: And you know what they call a… a… a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? Jules: They dont call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese? Vincent: No man, they got the metric system. They wouldnt know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is. Jules: Then what do they call it? Vincent: They call it a Royale with cheese. Jules: A Royale with cheese. What do they call a Big Mac? Vincent: Well, a Big Macs a Big Mac, but they call it le Big-Mac. Jules: Le Big-Mac. Ha ha ha ha. What do they call a Whopper? Vincent: I dunno, I didnt go into Burger King.